Date: 13-04-2022

The dream began somewhere on the streets, in a city I do not know. It was dusk, and a lot of people were on the streets. Something big had happened. My wife and my brother were there too. Something significant had changed in the world. Extraterrestrials had intervened in our affairs. Not just a few flying saucers, no; an incredibly advanced civilisation did. Apparently humanity had been under the influence of another less advanced extraterrestrial force that ruled our solar system, and this incredibly advanced alien race had saved us from them.

We did not know how yet, but we soon found out. While looking over the horizon, I discovered there was an Earth-like planet visible in the sky, about the same apparent size as would be the moon. It looked just like Earth, but with differently sized and shaped continents. It was so surreal! There it was, a second Earth. I told everyone around me and pointed out the planet. Other people soon started discovering more planets, and so did I. I tried to find higher ground and scanned the horizon, and discovered more and more. Many looked like Earth, but some were different. They were all closely similar in size, but there was some variation.

A voice in our heads conveyed what happened. They – whoever they were – had moved Earth in orbit of a Jupiter mass black hole, around a sun-like star. We were now the newest addition to their community of planets with other races who were rescued by them as well. It was an astonishing message. These aliens must have incredibly advanced technology if they can move a planet to another star system. The prospect of now having many alien worlds within travelling distance was quite thrilling, but something felt off. Something wasn’t entirely right, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Maybe it was the fact nobody was asked and this decision was forced upon us?

Night fell, and we were at a friend’s house now. An old friend who in real life I cut ties with; T. He was now married to S. We were at his new place. It was a house but it also had a balcony, where me and his friends marvelled at the new night sky full of different stars and constellations. In the far distance low on the horizon we would discover the occasional pinhole sized planet that orbited the far side of the black hole, and which was dimly lit by the sun. But we couldn’t find the moon and it was supposed to be up. One of T’s friends knew this for a fact. It dawned on us they had moved just the Earth, without its moon. I thought to myself how this would wreak havoc to our wildlife and all reproductive cycles of all the different animals that rely on the moon’s effect, it’s light, it’s gravitational pull, etc. Was this an oversight? How is it possible such an advanced civilisation would overlook something like this, or would possibly not care even?

It was the second reason for me that gave me the feeling something was not right. But everyone around me was absolutely thrilled. Especially my awake friends. “We were saved!” I tried not to be a buzz-kill and went along with it. I suggested we went out to the forests, far away from city lights, so we could better examine the new night sky. It took some time, and for some reason the others were a bit reluctant. They liked the idea but somehow nobody took the initiative to grab their coats and go. After suggesting it a few times more, subtly inserting the idea in the conversations, finally we were going. But now it was already dawn. We had missed our chance. Next night we would, it was agreed upon.

As morning came, many people gathered on a nearby square; a large field of grass in the city. Scientists had organised an event there. These were friendly well meaning scientists, eager to demonstrate something to the masses. We were now in a different part of the universe, perhaps not even in the milky way any more. They wanted to test whether the laws of nature were still the same here. In a small electric vehicle they came, and they opened the back. In the back of the vehicle were crates with test-tube racks with glass test-tubes. The tubes contained certain chemicals and they were labelled to note which chemical each contained. Their plan was to test the properties of these chemicals and compare the results to the known properties of those chemicals to see if they differed.

They were about to get ready and many people had gathered around them, but the event was abruptly interrupted by the same voice in our heads as before. This time though the voice was angry! We were to immediately cease our experiment! “Stop what you are doing!” Everyone on the field dropped to their knees in agony, squeezing their eyes shut and putting both hands on their left and right temple. They were in incredible pain. Everyone but me and a few others. The people who were “awake” about the schemes of the elites and who did not get jabbed heard the message but did not feel that much pain. The message conveyed was that we were not following the path laid out for us. “The answers will come in time! Patience!” We weren’t supposed to stick our noses into our new world this way. We all came by, and as kids slated by the unsuspected disapproving hard hand of a parent, they all dispersed.

Now I knew something was really fucked up. We weren’t freed from an oppressor; we were taken away from our old oppressor and now under the rule of an even stronger oppressor. There was no way we could hope to defeat these beings. They moved the Earth to another star system, and could stun us with a thought. The only hope we had was that their “path” for us was one that had our best interests in mind. Many people tried to down play what had happened, and referenced the bible. This was in a way our garden of Eden now, and we attempted to eat from a forbidden tree. I disagreed. We should have the freedom to explore our world. There were no terms we agreed on. We were forced to be in their community and forced to adhere to their rules. And those rules weren’t even transparent! We found out by doing what we humans naturally do; exploration.

We sat in the park. My wife was watching Doctor Who on her phone. I sat down with her and watched a bit of the show. It was an episode where aliens were using humans as a resource. They were being used as transistor chips for a computer mainframe. When I saw it I realised something similar had to be true for us here. We were a resource for those aliens too. Why else go through the trouble of transporting an entire planet of people to another star system? What was there to be gained for them? Cause it was absolutely clear to me it wasn’t about freeing us. But what did we have to offer but ourselves to beings that were so advanced? We were the only unique thing of this world. Surely if they can move planets, they could do a lot more. I told D my conclusion. We are a resource to these “saviours” too. She didn’t disagree, but I could see in her eyes she wanted to, yet, could not think of any counter argument other than it was very horrifying. But she could not deny the reality of what she already knew and how my conclusion fitted those observations perfectly.

Night fell the second time. We were now all sitting at T’s place again. All of us were sad. There was a certain tension in the room. But I wanted to go to the forest and see the stars. I wanted to explore! So I suggested it again. Many responded very reluctantly this time. “What if it isn’t allowed?” My response was something along the lines of: “So? What if it is? How would we know? And if it’s not allowed, why wouldn’t we do it? Isn’t this still our planet? Are we going to change who we are because some all powerful entity tells us to do it? I don’t want to sit here and wait to be told what to like and how to behave. If it’s forbidden to go to the forest at night, let’s see if we can find out why!”

My speech sparked some enthusiasm and valour into their hearts. We were going. Outside were two cars in front of the house. All T’s friends got in the bigger car, S and I got in the second car. T had said he didn’t want to go but he appeared outside apparently having changed his mind. But S drove the car away from him and made him walk all the way to the street. I didn’t understand why. T looked angry and yelled something. S looked ahead with a dead serious look on her face. On the other side of the street she stopped the car and waited. T had to walk a considerable distance to get to it, and when he did he opened the door and asked S what that was about. She replied something along the lines of: “You told me the other day I shouldn’t park on the side walk because it blocks pedestrians.” Apparently T had pulled a “T” on her, in another of his typical rants criticising her, and she saw her chance to throw that back at him. I could see their marriage was feeble and was beginning to crack. (I had suspected something like this could happen in real life outside of this dream.)

But somewhere here this dream ended here and transitioned into another dream where me, my wife, my brother, and I believe my in laws, and perhaps even my mother, took residence inside the house of the neighbours of my mother (R and J’s house). It was dark outside. The house was abandoned. Outside lurked dangers of unknown origins. It could’ve been dinosaurs or drones or both. I don’t recall. This dream was really vague. I mostly remember a sense of fear and dread. We had to keep quiet and not walk past the windows casually. I also recall taking charge. Nobody questioned my instructions. They all seemed to agree this was the best way to proceed. I also recall looking outside of a window on the first floor and watching things or creatures flying in the distance over the horizon, searching for people like us, and some black figure lurking through the street. This was a terrible world, but I planned to make life liveable there.

Date: 19-03-2022

The dream started at my birth place; the old house of my parents in Amersfoort. I lived there together with D. It was our house now. We were outside the house on the driveway. We had just come back from grocery shopping when I noticed an object with 6 red dots in the sky, low on the horizon. It moved across the sky and I saw it only briefly while it moved and my view was blocked by trees and roofs. It looked like a flying saucer and the red dots resided on the underside of it.

I panicked a bit and told D what I had seen. We walked around the house and now we both saw it. Its engine appeared to make a loud noise, like that of a heavy diesel vehicle. From a slight distance it suddenly moved towards us. We hasted back to the front door, and tried to get in. But my collection of keys was so huge I couldn’t find the right key. I sifted through them one by one a few times but I couldn’t find it. Meanwhile the saucer had come around the house and flew into view behind us. D gave me her keys and finally I found the right one. We moved inside.

Inside were M and my mother. We told them about the menacing flying object outside. They looked at us with a certain scared disbelieve. We decided to go upstairs and look through the windows. The attic had now changed and had a door to a roof garden. We stood on the roof, leaning on the fence, looking around. We saw many things flying in the far distance, everywhere we looked. Were those more saucers? We couldn’t tell because they were just too far in the distance, but there were many. It looked like an invasion.

Then we saw another flying thing. This one emitted very bright blueish light. It moved closer. It looked like a blue metal torso with a head and two long mechanical arms. The bottom of the torso was narrow and emitted a blue flame. It seemed to notice me and moved towards me. I was not afraid, neither were D and M who were there on the roof with me. The flying thing extended its arms towards me and I extended mine as if signalling to lift me up. It did, took me in its mechanical arms and slowly flew away up high. I shouted to D and M that I would be back. “This was supposed to happen.” I told them.

This thing took me high up in the clouds, and then looked at me with its mechanical face. It looked innocent in a way. I asked it if it could understand me: “Can we communicate?” It then pressed its forehead against mine as if transferring information this way to me. But nothing happened. “It’s not working.” I told it. It looked up, tried it again, and looked up to me again. “Still nothing.” I told it. Then it spoke. A friendly robot voice said: “Hmm, that is strange. This is supposed to work.” “Maybe my brain works a little different?” I asked. It didn’t reply and flew me to a place on top of the clouds.

This was a weird place. It looked peaceful but something was off. I was left at a large table where a lot of other people were. They were mostly young people, roughly in their 20’s, and an older man and women. The young people were people “like me” who were picked up by the flying bot, the woman was the hostess, and the man was someone higher up in some kind of chain of command. He wore a black suit and gave me the creeps. The other “chosen” people seemed bored. They just sat around the table.

On the table there was much food. All kinds of sweets like cakes, pie, doughnuts, etc. The kind that is bad for you. We were encouraged to eat. We could eat as much as we liked and could request any food we desired. I wanted to talk to the other people but none seemed interested in sharing thoughts. What I got back from them and the hostess, gave me the pieces of a puzzle I needed to know I should stop asking questions. Everyone of those kids had received some kind of transmission through the robot, and that was something that was supposed to happen. Maybe this had made them so docile? 

Nobody knew that transmission didn’t work on me, and I had the feeling this was something I needed to keep to myself or there would be trouble. I knew I wasn’t supposed to be there at all. The hostess stood up and announced we would be having a guest speaker. She named him Biden. He was going to speak to us about our mission. More people in black suits arrived and I saw the president of the US, Joe Biden. But the one to eventually speak to us was his son, Hunter Biden. They were getting ready to have him speak to us.

It was a big thing that was rehearsed many times by the looks of it. People were nervous. When they were ready he started speaking but it was total shit. I don’t remember a word of what he said but I know he stuttered a lot and everything he said was complete and utter nonsense. I didn’t even stay to listen to it whole, but used this opportunity to sneak out. The other chosen ones seemed mesmerised by the speaker. They consumed his message like it was sweet verbal pie. I thought to myself it must’ve also been something in the food. It was so weird how we were encouraged to eat all that bad food.

I was a bit scared as I did eat some of it. I even ate something with chocolate, even though I’m very allergic to it. But I seemed alright. So I sneaked out and went to explore this world. I thought it was an endless forest, but it wasn’t. I wasn’t even up in the sky but instead this was Amersfoort still. The hostess had noticed me sneaking out and she had followed me. She was kind, and asked me some questions. I recall vaguely that I told her some of my wisdoms and the things I said blew her away. She let me go, understanding that I was not supposed to be there but did have my own mission.

I moved on. It was now dark. I walked towards my old street. There I saw a light post with all kinds of tech mounted on it, about three meters up into the pole. I saw a sensor, and one of those public transport check-in pods you’d normally find inside the buses and trams where you present your public transport card to so that it checks you in or out. It beeped as I approached it. I climbed the light post to see it from up close. I now also saw a camera and also saw it had checked me in from a distance. All that tech must create an infrastructure where people are charged for moving any kind of distance from their house. The camera was there to record it visually so that police could be notified of any abuse of the system.

I had checked in from coming out of nowhere. The system did not have a prior login so my direction was unknown. Since I also climbed the surveillance pole I was sure police would arrive to arrest me. That thought didn’t bother me that much. What did was that I saw people inside their houses, sitting at dinner tables, having a family moment, completely unaware of the surveillance infrastructure that was built right under their noses. These people had become prisoners of the system.

Date: 13-03-2022 

Introduction:

I remember very little about this dream, other than some incredible flashes of some kind of boss battle between me and an insidious creature. I do not know how I got to him, or any basic detail of what transpired before the moment of our meeting. The battle itself lasted much longer than the flashes I put together to picture it, but it was nonetheless not a long fight.

Shadow Wizard:

I recall the creature as an enormous shadow figure, about 5 or 6 meters tall. Its physical attributes were that of a human; head, 2 arms on a torso and 2 legs. Its arms and legs were a bit out of proportion in their lengths. He looked a little bit like a 3D animated shadow of a straw man. What I knew before hand was that this creatures was an evil wizard, capable of magic, and with malevolent intentions.

The battle took place in a huge dark enclosed space. The shape of it was round, and very high. The space inside was very large, and the distance from ground to ceiling was much greater than from wall to wall. It reminded me a bit of that large vacuum chamber NASA uses to conduct experiments. In fact, I recall that the ceiling was small, so the outside shape of this space must’ve looked like a giant bullet.

Besides me and the creature, there was another entity there. It remained mostly invisible, and he acted like a coach to me in about the same way a couch would cheer on their pupil in a boxing match. But there was no aggression in this coach, only wisdom. He would say things that sparked courage in me to keep fighting and filled me with hope that I could win this fight. Without him, I think I would’ve lost the fight before it began.

I was able to use two kinds of attacks; lightning and a sort of fiery plasma with fire-like properties. I could shoot those from my hands at first. These attacks were very powerful, but the evil wizard countered them with ease. It turns out that one of my kind of attacks could be blocked by the other, so lightning blocks plasma and plasma blocks lighting. And the shadow figure used this against me.

Every time I shot either of those attack, the shadow raised a shield around itself with properties of the other attack. Would I fire lightning the creature raised a plasma wall between me and him. And would I fire plasma, he erected a wall of lightning. My attacks were effectively like shooting blanks. And every time I fired, he blocked it with the shield, but reached over its shield with his long limbs and attempted to knock me to the ground, which he sometimes did. Though sometimes this allowed me to hit him with a smaller attack.

Encouraged by the invisible entity, I discovered that I could not only just shoot lightning and plasma, I could embody them. Either one. My whole body would become made entirely out of either, just by will. When I did, I could even match the evil shadow in size. The tide of the battle turned, but only briefly. The evil shadow quickly found a way to counter this next threat. When I turned into lightning, he erected a shield of plasma in front and behind me, and trapped me in it, forcing me to shift to a plasma state. In that moment I was vulnerable and I was slammed to the ground.

It went on for a while, and my invisible coach was still filling me with hope I could beat the shadow. And at one point I fell to the ground and ended up near one of the shadow’s legs. He had gotten careless in hubris because he seemed to be dominating this fight. I wasted no time and out of nothing in my human form I latched onto his leg with both my arms and I bit him as hard as I could in his calf muscle. The creature did not expect this primitive and mundane attack at all and was taken by total surprise. It yelled and screamed in pain and kicked me across the hall against the wall.

I had dealt some minor damage, and he had a slight limb from then on. It wasn’t a win if it came to the damage dealt but it was the turning moment in the battle. I had humiliated it, and even though I got kicked to the floor, I couldn’t help but laugh hysterically. Of all the incredible things I could do it was this silly attack that made him scream in agony. The tide of the battle turned again, but this time it would stay in my favour. I figured out I could change into the lightning version of myself, but still shoot plasma from my hands.

And so I did. But the shadow wasn’t easily defeated. Trying to trap me between plasma shields would now no longer work, but It kept raising the right kind of shield to block my attacks. When I alternated between my attacks he could match me in the speed of the switch to the right kind of shield. When I changed my body from that of lightning into plasma, so did the shadow change the defence for any punches I would throw at him. But I had him on the defensive. I dominated this part of the fight. All he could do was block.

My coach was now very quiet. But I didn’t think I needed him at this point as I had come up with another strategy. While in lightning form I would spawn a body of plasma from my hands. The wizard would not know which one of the bodies was me and which was just a mirage. It worked! The shadow thought I was the plasma version, and engaged the fake foe. I sneaked around him and totally surprised him when I crabbed him from behind. My lightning arms did more than just immobilise him; they hurt him from all the current he received on his shadowy skin.

He screamed in agony. “AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!” But as I held him, I couldn’t do anything but keep him in place. But all of a sudden, my coach, my mentor, the invisible entity that had supported me, yelled excitingly at me. Where his voice had been calm and soothing this whole time, now he gave it all he got: “KEEP HIM STEADY! KEEP HIM STEADY!! I’M GOING TO HELP!” As I stood there, as a creature of lightning, 5 meters tall, lifting a big black screaming shadow figure off the ground, I stood opposite of the mirage plasma figure I had created, which just stood there inanimately.

And then I experienced the most incredible thing of this whole dream. The invisible entity entered the plasma husk, and took control of it as if it were its own body. This telepathically connected me with my mentor. In that moment, I was everywhere. I could see the battle from every perspective, from any angle, and even from the perception of every individual in that fight. The friendly entity now embodying the plasma husk readied itself in an attack posture. He threw his fist back, ready to punch, but its fist turned into a long pointy plasma spike. Because I was and knew all, I knew what to do.

Seamlessly we worked together in one single motion. He threw the spiky punch while I raised the shadow figure off the ground so it would receive the blow right on the higher end of its torso. With a loud blast the plasma spike pierced through the shadow figure and an enormous explosion erupted from the wound. It woke me up. But I knew we had won.

Date: 26-02-2022

In this dream we were invaded by a slightly more advanced alien civilisation. They used weird drone-like craft, as large as cars, very noisy, and they shot red laser pulses just like the weapons in Star Wars. I knew where they were going to be and how things would unfold in every detail, up to a point that I knew the exact order in which their foot-soldiers would search the toilet units. But even though I knew and used that to my advantage, it turned out that doing that changed the outcome into something that differed ever more from my mental imprint. It ended in my death regardless of how I proceeded, and when I died I came back to a situation a few hours earlier, much in a ground hog day kind of way. I couldn’t safe myself, and died multiple times. Because I had now changed the future so much that I could no longer accurately predict it, I accepted my fate. I decided to instead try and safe others from their deaths, which I had seen happening in earlier versions when I was trying to safe myself. I was successful there, saved many, and it lasted and lasted until I realised that I now had been alive longer than in any of my attempts to safe myself. It ended with me going into a bunker which differed much from how I remembered it. In my mental imprint the bunker was full of people and supplies. In reality not many people survived and there were no supplies.

This dream borrowed many elements from the movie Extinction, which I saw yesterday evening. Before this dream came another dream, which I know virtually nothing about safe a few impressions and images.

Mosasaurus

Date: 26-02-2022

I don’t remember much about this dream, other than it involved a semi large ship, a stormy sea, and a mosasaurus. I also remember the sky was clear of clouds and that the stars were moving across the sky much too fast. In the dream I pondered how the aliens had been able to speed up Earth’s rotation. That was literally the thought I had. I have no idea what it meant.

Date: 12-02-2022

The dream began on a dark street. I was there with people I seemed to know in the dream. We were walking and talking, but we were not moving towards something. It was a bit random and spontaneous. Maybe it was a gathering on the street that turned into some sort of party.

I can’t explain why but I suddenly felt the need to walk on all fours, which I did. On that level, children were playing which I hadn’t noticed before. The more I walked around, the more my stride began to resemble that of a lizard. People saw me but they did not seem to think anything of it. They respected me still. I could see a group of ladies looking at me, pointing me out and talking. I think they thought I was playing with the children. I did walk towards the children, but that was not what this was about for me.

The more my stride began to appear like that of a lizard so did my appearance, until I physically had changed into a lizard. This part of the dream is a blur for me. I only recall vague impressions. I recall crawling in darkness through a forest, and I vaguely recall being chased. Though it was a bit scary at times I do vividly remember I was also confident. I knew my way around the forest and I was able to outmanoeuvre my chasers, who were using bright search lights. In the end they turned out to be nice people who became aware I was not a lizard but a person.

I remember this part very well. Night turned to day, and I recall walking as a lizard towards the edge of the forest where I could see the sun come up. But the edge of the forest was also where an enormous valley was. There was a mild slope that went on forever into a misty valley. It was so huge that I could not see the bottom, nor the other side (if it existed). It seemed to go on forever until the faint mist obscured it completely. The slope, though not steep, was difficult to walk down from because it was covered with sandy dunes. So when walking down, I’d have to walk up and down these dunes, which slowed my pace.

I began to make my way down the slope and while I did I was transforming back into a human again. Ever so slightly my stature raised and I could oversee more and more of the slope. I discovered it was full of animals, mostly large birds and lions. It was some kind of breeding spot for many different birds. On my left was a large patch of grass where many eagles were breeding. Instinctively I knew I had nothing to fear from them, and neither did they seem disturbed by my appearance. I passed them and climbed up one of the dunes to overlook the downwards slope.

From this vantage point I could see the slope became steeper the further down I went. I overlooked a large piece of the slope on my front right. As I raised myself above the horizon, many birds took off in panic, making panicky noises. I saw a group of lions, of which the youngest and smallest member saw me. All the lions looked sick. They had stains around their mouths, like the skin there was infected. They also had bald patches of skin on their faces and bodies. They looked diseased. The young lion walked towards me slowly but aggressively. It raised its lips, showing its teeth to me.

I looked back to estimate if I could flee fast enough. The rough terrain behind me would make a successful escape very unlikely, so I fronted my stature and decided to try and make a stand. First I made myself appear as broad as possible, opening my jacket and spreading my arms. The lion growled. In response so did I and I tried to overreach him in volume. It backed off, but my growling also drew the attention of two more lions. One was a lioness which I suspect was its mother. The other was an old male lion. Very old and grey but still not a beast I would want to fight.

The smaller lion now felt more confident and approach me again. I had no weapons, so I turned to resourcefulness. I grabbed a hand of loose sand from the dune, and waited for the right moment. When the lion was close enough I threw a well aimed puff of dusty sand right in its face. Not only did it blind him, it also deterred the other two animals. But it only lasted a moment, and they tried their approach again, now all three closing in on me. I wasn’t going to give up so quickly and I picked up a full hand of sand with each of my hands and began a sort of bombardment of sand.

The situation now turned into slow motion where I could predict where they were heading and threw the sand into a direction that would lead to them meeting up and colliding face first into majestic projectile-like dust clouds. They were helpless and I saw the sand caused their eyes to become irritated from all the sand that was on their eyeballs. They seemed to be giving up, slowly, but then another creature appeared.

From down below the valley a large bird appeared, flying upwards. It was larger than any of the animals thus far encountered. It flew to a height higher than me and hovered above the valley flapping its wings. Slowly it approached me, keeping its height well above my own. The closer it came the better I could see what kind of creature this was. It looked like an eagle at first, but my intuition told me this creature was not friendly. It was in cahoots with the lions. The closer it came the more details I saw. This was no eagle.

The creature I saw I can best be describe as a mix between an eagle and one of the diseased lions. It had big brown feathers, but seemed to suffer the same illness as the lions where patches of its skin were bald missing the coverage of its peck. It had claws like that of the front paws of the lions on its on legs, but also on its wings. And most disturbing of all it had a lion’s face, though fur was replaced with feathers, appearing in likeness to the diseased lions with infected bald spots around its mouth. It had intense eyes. Its eyes were round as marbles and yellow in colour. Somehow it looked perpetually scared, but it seemed very sure of itself approaching me.

In matrix style bullet time I somersaulted over the dunes, grabbing a hand of sand as I did, placed myself in the right position to throw, threw the sand, and as the sand approached it I leaped away to throw again from another position. Still in slow motion sand I first threw had now reached its face and a puffy cloud of dust indicated I had scored another bullseye hit. But the creature was unaffected by it. I stood still, confused, looking at it, while it looked back with its intense eyes, keeping its gaze on me the whole time. I could now see that it was so badly diseased that its infected skin and eyes were already irritated to a maximum. The sand could not add any extra discomfort to that.

Now it spoke to me and it uttered words I cannot recall in a language I do not speak in this life, but I knew what it meant in the dream. It said that the medicine had set him free. It would not attack me if I would also take the medication. And if I did, it would also set me free.

As often, the dream stops here. I did not wake up, the dream simply went on into another dream, which I do not remember. I do know that when that creature suggested to me I take something so it wouldn’t attack me I was determined beyond any doubt never to take it.

Date: 23-01-2022

Last night I dreamt I was going to a protest march in Amsterdam. I was visiting my sister before going, as in the dream she lived in Amsterdam in a typical narrow porch house. While I was there I was talking to her about my website, and explaining its concepts. I explained about the cycles of consciousness, but while I was explaining what was already written and published I got new insights. I wove these new insights into my lesson. My sister gave me her full attention. She was intrigued.

On a piece of paper I drew a graph, and explained my new insight of the relation between reveal and stagnation. I drew a diagram that showed two lines. One went from the upper left downwards to the right, and represented variation. The less variation, the more the world stagnated. The other line would start in the bottom left and would go upward to the right. This line represented reveal. The lesson was that the more the world stagnated, the less means obscurity had to hide the truth and thus the more reveal there would be. The two lines crossed somewhere beyond the centre to the right. (EDIT: I’ve drawn this out and placed it in chapter 20).

I explained to my sister this was one movement of a repeating cycle. Under the graph I drew a succession of X’s to illustrate how the battle between obscurity and reveal, and the battle between stagnation and variation would culminate after reaching the crossing (the omega point) after which they would then switch places.
XXXXXXXXXX I wrote under the graph. These were the universal cycles. The meaning of this was that the more the elites tried to stagnate the world, the less they would be able to keep their secrets hidden.

I explained the concept of variation in light of these drawings, and asked her to take my pencil. From there I wanted to explain there was a universe where she had taken the pencil with her other hand, but also one I handed it to her with my other hand, and also one where I used my other hand and she too, but that apart from these 4 differences there was a host of even smaller differences of every minute detail possible that each sprung its own new version of the universe. Every thinkable outcome would result in another branch of the universe splitting off. But during my lively explanation my brother (who was also there) kept taking the pencil out of my hand prematurely. He was thwarting me up to a point I just gave that part of my lesson up. I hoped my sister understood it now.

After I had explained this to her, and she was visibly processing my explanation of the workings behind the world, she said she felt intuitively that what I had said was correct. But suddenly I realised I was in Amsterdam to take part in a protest march, and I had to go. I had an old bike with me, and cycled (lol) to the location of the march. It was a borrowed bike. I think it was my brother’s bike; the black one. I arrived at the march, and the people yelled out loud: “We are angry! We are angry!”

The crowd walked through residential neighbourhoods of Amsterdam I had not been before. They even went through alleyways where the backyards of houses met. It was all very narrow and illogical to take a protest march through there. The people that lived in those houses were looking from the windows upstairs, or stood in their backyards. Most of them were supportive of our cause, and we got a lot of positive reactions. But in some backyards there were parties of quite decadent elitist people. The semi rich. Parties were forbidden due to the lockdown, as were protest marches for that matter. But in the chaos of all the protests these people knew the police was far too busy to bother them. They knew they would get away with it.

I tried to get to the front of the march. That proved to be difficult when the stream of people walked through the narrow alleyways. When an alley got a little wider or when we crossed the street to the next ally, I took my window of opportunity to advance a little. It was a big protest march, and the vibe was really good. But somehow, even though I walked with the crowd and yelled along, I felt like an outsider. What put emphasis on that was that I sometimes yelled other things. My lines were quite catchy though, and spot on. The things I said were definitely against the mainstream narrative, but I think a little too awake for even these people. Though some did understand them and shook my hand or gave me a brotherly pad on the shoulder, but most people looked at me like they were seeing a crazy person.

I arrived at the front of the march but I heard and saw more people in the distance. The march was fragmenting, and was no longer one whole mass of people. I ushered the people behind me to pick up the pace, but they didn’t hear me. They were having too much fun together. I pointed out the other march in the distance, but it was pointless. Those that did hear me didn’t see the use in trying to merge back into one march. I got back up on the bike and raced to the other march. This march was even bigger than the one I just left. Much bigger. The vibe was slightly different too; a little harsher slurs and people were expressing them a bit angrily. I couldn’t get to the front at all, and asking them to slow down seemed pointless. They wouldn’t listen. But the vibe in this group was still acceptable.

Then I ran into a man who was also with a bike. He looked familiar to me in this dream world, and I recognised him as one of the regular bus drivers in my current home town. He had recognised me too, as a recurring passenger. He spoke to me, and said some things that indicated he was quite aware of how the main narrative was false. He was awake. I don’t recall what he said exactly except for this. He said: “We must do this ourselves. The change. We the people.” I immediately understood what he was hinting at. An organised fall of the cartel would be organised by the cartel. A real fall would not be demanded by the people, but would be forced and done by the people. We had a short conversation about our philosophies. Twilight had set in. The sun was now behind the horizon. We walked through the protesting crowds.

At one point I realised I did not even know his name. I reached out my right hand and said to him: “By the way, my name is Willem.” He shook my hand and replied: “Mariel.” For a split second there I wasn’t sure if I heard it right. It sounded like he said a girls’ name. So I ask: “Did I hear it right? Your name is Mariel?” He looked a bit dejected towards the ground and confirmed. He had a girls’ name. I comforted him: “I know more guys with a girls’ name. A colleague of mine is called Flower, but it’s a guy.” Mariel laughed. I imagine he must’ve endured some bullying as a child, having this name as a boy. I extended another joke, saying: “Luckily you were out of school when Disney released The Little Mermaid.” He laughed harder now: “Yep, I’m so lucky!” he joked. We both laughed.

He changed the subject and asked me if I had thought of a way to get home because it was getting late. Of course he knew where I lived, being a bus driver and me a regular passenger, and that meant he knew the bus schedule. And after a certain time late in the evening the bus lines no longer commute. It shook me. I realised I had totally forgotten about that due to all the fun and happenings of the protest. I had not thought about my journey back to my home at all. “Oh no! I totally forgot, haha! I think I better hurry back right now.” He was in the same boat, though he lived somewhere else but still near me. He took off on his bike, while I tried to figure out where I was at now.

I recognised this place immediately. This was Amersfoort. I was on my old street where I grew up. It was the crossing near the shopping centre. The situation was as it was about 20 years ago. The church still stood there, for example. It was dark now. I jumped onto the bike, and began to cycle in the direction of my parent’s house. The street lights were all off for some reason, and neither had I turned on the lights on this bike. I was too lazy to do that, and that meant I was biking in almost complete darkness.

Halfway to my parents’ house I came across a police car that blocked the road, with their flashing lights on. I wasn’t on the biking lane, so I quickly took a right turn and got on to the biking lane. Slowly I approached the scene. There were many cops, but I couldn’t see how many. There were a lot of them on the street. At least 10. They hadn’t noticed me yet, and were busy doing something. As I drew closer and closer in silence I could see they were moving the garbage containers. They weren’t the one to collect it in this dream, but it seemed that they were somehow involved in the process of it all. In the dream, this made no sense too.

I knew something was off. The police shouldn’t be doing this kind of work, and even so they wouldn’t be doing it at this hour. And even if that was incorrect, why would they do it in total darkness without properly lighting the street? Wouldn’t this way of doing it make things even more difficult than they already are? But I got the idea this was all a cover to actually obscure what they were really doing from a wider audience. I had now come really close along side the police car, and I was trying to switch my bike light on.

But I couldn’t get the damn thing to switch on, so I was hanging over the handlebars, to get a better feel where the button was. Suddenly I saw I had approached 3 garbage containers that were parked right in the middle of the biking lane, but due to the darkness of the scene they popped into view at the last second. I was barely able to dodge them as I had a fraction of a second to react, and actually brushed the third one. And as if this was a comedic movie; one of the buttons on my jacket snatched the rim of the container and my motion on the bike pulled that thing with me a few inches. It made a loud sound.

I wanted to jump back on the bike and speed out of there, but then saw a very sweet, charming, and also very pretty police lady that stood near the containers I just barely missed. We stood close, maybe 3 feet apart from each other. The other police officers had not noticed me yet, due to the darkness and perhaps also thinking their colleague had created that noise. Our eyes were locked. Both of us startled by the sudden appearance of the other. The other officers hadn’t even looked up at the sound from my action, and were still placing containers everywhere, quite loudly I might add considering this seemed to be a covert op.

We kept looking each other in the eyes. Both of us knew the other had no good reason to be here. I knew what they were doing was bs, and she knew I had no business driving at night without any lights on my bike during a lockdown. She had to arrest me, but that would make things complicated for her too. After staring at each other for what seemed like 30 seconds, I slowly got back on the bike. She didn’t stop me. I looked one more time, and disappeared into the night.

Date: 09-01-2022

Last night I dreamt D and I were going to take on a long journey to Tanzania, where we would be backpacking through the savanna, sleeping (and perhaps even living) inside a tent. We had come up with this together and had decided this is what we both needed. It would be a vacation of long duration, at least a few weeks, but I think much longer. Maybe even a year, or even longer than that. It was unclear. It was long term.

We were staying over at my parents’ old house the days before we left. But instead of my parents it were her parents that lived there. D had to go to work the day before we departed, but she was able to leave work earlier than usual, so she could take some more preparations for the journey ahead. As a surprise she had made me a carnival suit with a large fluffy animal snake. She had twisted it around the suit and attached it, so that it looked like I was being attacked by a big snake while wearing it. I put it on before she came home. My in-laws were laughing their socks off.

D came home and she said she wanted to go to the store to get some more things we needed. We went to Amsterdam, where there is a large store for travel supplies. In the dream the location was the same as in real life, but the store looked different from the inside, and also did they have much more than just travel stuff. They had everything. The shelves were really high, many metres easily. They still did have many travel products, but also books, toys, office supplies, you name it. D went her own way, and allowed me to browse around. By the way, the store was really busy, and it was a bit under lit. A few lights here and there would have done the store much good. But it wasn’t grim, it was just more like a perpetual twilight inside the store, and it made it kinda cosy.

D had told me she wanted to document our journey by writing down all our adventures. She had asked me to consider bringing my laptop with me on our journey, but I realised that the laptop would be quite a weight to carry around with me all the time. Maybe D could use a paper notepad? It’s lighter, doesn’t require electricity, and I could still take my iPad just in case, which is lighter and would also allow me to use the sudoku app. I went looking for paper notepads, but eventually found myself in an aisle filled with toys.

I saw little toy army tanks which I also used to have when I was a kid myself. Only in the dream I had misplaced the toy vehicle. I felt the urge to re-experience what it was like to play with these toys. And in that aisle there were many kids on the ground playing with the toys they had taken from the packages. This was something the store owners allowed, like this was equal to listening to the music before you purchase it. You want to know what you’re getting. And without any shame I pulled one of those tanks out of the package, and started playing with it.

But something about it was different. De manufacturer had “improved” the product, according to the text on the package, but I saw through it. This was no improvement. They had attempted to lower the production costs as much as possible by using cheaper less durable materials, while asking more money for the items because they were now “improved”. Typical corporate scheme. I told myself I would just go back home and would try my best to locate my old toy. I wanted to take it with me to Tanzania. D now tapped me on the shoulder. With a smile on her face she asked me: “Can you find everything you’re looking for, sir?”

I smiled, but replied on a slightly more serious note I wanted to check out the paper notebooks, and explained my reasoning concerning the laptop. D got a little more serious herself now, and replied she would rather still use the laptop. And she had a point. I prefer to work from my laptop when I work on my site, so why not just take the laptop with us. “Is this why you were at the toy aisle?” she asked me, again with a smile. “Nah, I was just curious.” I said. “Oh really?” she replied, and she winked. We moved along together. I thought to myself I would leave my iPad at home. This saved some weight, and instead of making a sudoku I could also grab a flash light and stroll around our tent to look for exotic critters. That actually sounded like a more fun thing to do. “I have everything then.” I told her. She too. While walking to the cashier I was running through a memorised check list. Had I not forgotten anything?

I needed flip-flops, and specialised shoes, and realised the flip-flops would take the least amount of space, so it would make sense to put the shoes on during flight and stuff the flip-flops in my luggage. I had the shoes, which were pitch black Asics, with holes in them as if they were Crocks. They didn’t even look too unfashionable, and maybe even appealing to wear in a hot savanna climate. D and I took our spot in the line to pay for our items, while going through our checklists out loud. “Do you have this?” “And this?” “And you, did you think about this?” We had to wear our warm clothes inside the plane, cause it could get a bit chilly in an airliner.

We arrived back home. The both of us wanted to take a shower, so we went into the bathroom. Before we closed the door, her parents both came to see us, and expressed how proud they were of us for taking on this journey. “You both deserve this.” stated my father in law. It was a bit awkward that they were in the bathroom with us, as we were getting undressed, cause all of a sudden we were in a hurry. It was the bathroom as it used to be in my parents’ house, with the orange wall tiles. D’s parents wanted to ask and tell us so many things before we went, but we were running out of time to leave comfortably. Before I pulled down my underpants, I jokingly ushered them out of the bathroom. “Out, out out out out!” I smiled and so did they. They moved out, we closed the door and took that shower.

After we took a shower, I wanted to quickly move upstairs to my old room, to check and see if my PC was perhaps still turned on. During my teen and ‘tween’ years I had that PC turned on 24/7. But my visit to this room was actually my excuse to go look for that little toy tank. I went up the first stairs, onto the hallway, and went past the door of my sister’s old room. In that room sounded R&B music, as if it was coming from small speakers. As gently as I could, I opened the door, and peeked through the crack, while standing on the first two steps to the attic. It was the room as dad had made it for his train collection, after my sister moved out of the house.

But in this dream, this was now a temporary room for my brother. The train table was hinged against the wall, and in the back of this small narrow room laid a mattress on the floor. On the mattress laid a very ill M (my brother), covered by a blanket, head on the right of the room, laying on his right side so facing the wall away from the door. From his left ear a cotton cloth stuck out and it was red with blood. He had an inner ear infection, that apparently had plagued the house, I recalled in the dream. I could see he was in much pain. He was shivering and groaning. Near his head, next to the mattress, stood a small table. On the table laid his phone. From this phone sounded the R&B music, which apparently he had put on. And this is the kind of music he definitely doesn’t like. The angry voice of a black man sung the chorus: “Momma said momma said momma said! Momma said momma said momma said! Momma said momma said momma said!” with bombastic beats and drums escorting this monotone line.

He hadn’t noticed me, and I didn’t want to wake him. In this dream he was mad at me and didn’t want to talk to me, just as in real life. I wanted to say goodbye to him though, because I would be staying away for such a long time, but eventually decided not to wake him. I didn’t want my last memory of him to be his anger and judgement. Cause at that moment I somehow knew D and I would never return. As gentle as I could I closed the door again, without waking him, and proceeded to the attic. Entering my old room I indeed found my PC switched on. I sat down behind it, and opened a few games I used to play, and programs I frequently used back in the days. I enjoyed the nostalgia. I took it in, enjoyed it, and said my goodbye to the computer. I switched it off one last time. After this I briefly tried to find the little toy I wanted to take with me, but I couldn’t find it. I had to accept this loss and had to let it go. I got up, opened the door, took one last look at the room, then closed it and moved downstairs.

From here everything went in fast forward speed until D and I found ourselves inside the airliner. “Here we are, in the plane.” I said. But D had now also figured out something about this journey was different. And I knew it too. We both realised we were going to die on this journey. Everything that had happened in our life, and all the choices we had made, had brought us to this moment. We had chosen to take this path, together. We were both a bit nervous, but we also knew things would be alright. The aeroplane took off, and we held each others’ hand, and looked into each others’ eyes. “There we go.” I said. She replied: “Yup, there we go.” I said: “I’m curious what it would be like.” “Me too.” she said.

The plane now began to crash down. I felt fear, but saw more fear in D her eyes. My desire to comfort her allowed me to overcome my own fear. I squeezed her hand, and tried to get her to look me in the eyes again. “Hey. You. It’s going to be alright.” I said in an uplifting voice. She smiled while tears ran down her cheeks. I continued: “It was a beautiful journey together. And we will find each other again, on the other side, okay? We will stay together. I’ll look you up.” She now smiled with her whole face. My words had comforted her, and she was now too without fear. And then the moment was there. The plane hit the ground. I recall intense pain. It was so intense that I was alone in that moment. I experienced this moment of pain in solitude. It was me, and pain. I think our bodies disintegrated on impact.

But that pain only lasted a fraction of a second. It was over before it began. I found myself in another state of being. I really felt it. I now also understood many things I didn’t before in my life. And I also knew that D was in the exact same state of mind, understanding all the things I now understood too. Because I knew what she knew I wanted to visit my brother one last time before I went to find her. I knew D understood this. M was my first priority now. I felt he needed my help, but I did not know whether or not he would accept it, because I was the one to offer this help. So I looked him up. This happened instantaneously. He now laid in my king sized bed, in the house I now lay while typing this.

I was in the hallway, and passed through the door. I entered the room as an observer. Nobody inside could see me, not even from the dream realm. As long as I decided to stay unnoticed, nobody could see me. Inside the room I detected an ominous presence. There were three shadow figures with him in this room. They were the same entities I sometimes run into in lucid dreams or when I am in between waking and sleeping. One of these shadow entities sat on his chest and was choking him with one hand. M was asleep, but because of the state I was now in I could see he was tangled up in a nightmare inside his head. If I wanted to, I could enter this dream. I could even wake him up. But, if I did that, it meant I would come out of my incognito mode, and he would be able to see me. As long as he was asleep, or half asleep, he wouldn’t be able to tell it was me giving him this unsolicited help.

I wanted to help him, but I wanted to do something heroic, so he could see I am not the evil he perceived me to be. But suddenly I realised he didn’t even know I was dead yet. I knew I wasn’t allowed to reveal that to him this way intentionally. Apparently there were rules in place to prevent this. So I let go of that idea. But I still wanted to help him, so I decided I would just remove these three demons from his presence. He didn’t have to know it was me. And by the way, I was not in any doubt I could beat them. I beat them plenty of times when I was still human, and my abilities were now far beyond what I could in my physical form. And I was actually quite eager to test my new abilities on these evil mother fuckers. I was going to reveal myself and fight them.

I de-cloaked, and the entities noticed me immediately. And I was hard to miss. Even to my own surprise my appearance was very intense. I wore white robes, and my skin emitted a blindingly white light. One of the three entities, which stood at the foot end of the bed dissolved instantly on my de-cloak. The second tried to jump me from the other side of the bed, but with one swing of my arm I bounced him out of the air like he was made of carton board. He impacted the wall and splashed into ash. It took me no sweat at all. The third one was however a little bit stronger, and he was still choking my brother. But without a hint of fear in me I pulled him off M. This was to become and actual fight, but I hadn’t a sliver of doubt I would beat him.

And it wasn’t a match at all. A few kicks, and light beams from my hands, and he puffed into a cloud of ash too. The entity had not even succeeded in landing a single strike on me, and I think if he did he would not even have been able to do as much as scratch me with his best move. But as I landed my final attack on the entity M had started to wake up from his dream, and he was opening his eyes. In a fraction of a second I knew he could see me, and with a thought I put him back to sleep. He must’ve seen something, but I do not know how much. I was hoping that he had not recognised me due to the blinding light, but who knows. Maybe if he wakes up again he’ll just remember this as a fascinating dream experience. But as soon as the news of my passing would reach him, he might put 2 and 2 together and figure out it was me. But then I thought: “Maybe it was supposed to happen this way?”

I looked one last time at my brother, and smiled. I knew he’d be okay. Then I teleported myself to D. She was such an enlightened being now. We went on our journey together, but we also both expressed how we looked forward to coming back one day. Our departure seemed to be permanent, but also temporary. I remember literally thinking: “I really hope M, and D’s parents are still alive when we return.”

The dream ended. I memorised this dream through repeating core words. I then fell asleep once more. Another dream followed. It was equally profound, and it followed up the events as they took place in my experience. This next dream took place in front of the old house of our grumpy neighbour, miss Schreuder. In this dream her house was now a small school. The world was post-apocalyptic. There were a few children of varying ages outside waiting for school to start.

There were two versions of my brother, M. One was him as I left him in the previous dream; a young adult male. So, not at all a child, yet he was supposed to follow classes there. The second version of him was as he was when he was a young boy, about the age of 10 (about 3rd or 4th grade). They didn’t know they were each others’ counterpart. In this dream I remembered having had the previous dream, not knowing I was dreaming again. I wanted to tell older M about this dream as it featured him, and I thought there was a message in it for him. I reasoned it was therefore important he knew what I had experienced.

I talked to him, and he acted disinterested, but agreed to listen to my dream. But while I started to detail the story, he wasn’t making the slightest effort to listen. In fact, he actually seemed to make an effort to portrait he wasn’t listening at all. On the property was a kennel with two dogs in it. As I started to tell the story from the start he picked up a stick and started poking it through the fence, playing with the dogs that began taking turns pulling the stick. Then he would strike up a conversation with another person there. And every time I paused for him to finish what he was doing, he would eventually notice I had stopped and would turn to me stating that he was really listening and I could just continue. But is was very evident he was actually giving me the sign he didn’t have the slightest intention of actually taking in anything I was detailing to him. I got the impression he would actually prefer me to be done, so he didn’t have to pretend to be interested, which he didn’t even do. 

But he didn’t have to if he wanted to. If he had said he wasn’t interested that’d be fine. I would just not tell him and keep it to myself. So I said to him: “Look, if you don’t want to hear it, just say so. I won’t hold it against you, I just thought you wanted to hear this, that’s all.” But he said he did want to hear it, while it still seemed like he didn’t really mean that at all. So I responded to that with: “Is it okay if I don’t tell you? Cause if you don’t want to hear it, I might as well not bother you. I’m okay either way, but then please just say so.” But M kept insisting he was interested to hear it, but again did it in such a way he clearly didn’t mean a word he said. And this was so strange. Before he broke contact with me he was always thrilled to share our dreams with each other and examine their meaning together. Something in him had changed. He was angry with me.

“If you don’t want to listen just say so, bro. It’s okay if you don’t, but don’t tell me you want to hear it if you don’t.” But then a little boy said to me: “I want to hear it?” It was his younger version. He came to sit down in front of me, and so did a host of other children of about the same age. For a moment I felt what it was to be a teacher again. I really missed this feeling. “Okay, let me go back and start the story from the beginning.” They agreed. Old M had wondered off. But as I set the story up and explained about the preparations for Tanzania, the front door of the house/school swung open. The teachers stepped out and called the children to come inside. All the children got up and left to enter the school. Young M was sad. He really wanted to know this dream as I had detailed to him it featured a future version of him. But he had to go to school. In the dream I knew that another chance to tell this version of M would not present itself again.

 

Analysis:

We were staying over at my parents’ house, where in the dream this was the house where my in-laws lived. I think this symbolises how they became my surrogate parents.

We were staying with them for a few days. Maybe this is something of the future, where we make use of their hospitality, or maybe it shows how hospitable they are.

Tanzania is called the cradle of humanity. Humankind originated here. D and I were preparing to go to this cradle; a journey to our source. I think this means we are preparing for a life back to our roots, or a life based on a more traditional way of living.

In the dream we both tried to take old memories and luxuries with us, but were limited in the amount of things we could take with us. We had to pick carefully. I cherish items from my past. In that regard I am much like my father. But I simply was forced to leave most things behind. But in the dream I took my time to consciously say goodbye to that past. I think this could be about what is going on in our world today. We need to say goodbye to our way of life, regardless which way things go. But it could also mean D and I will go live off grid somewhere, where we will have to learn to do without the luxuries of modern technology. In the dream, we were both ready for that.

In the dream, we both died. But we lived on, still. Wiser, more conscious and self-aware, stronger. I think this symbolises the many pains we will undoubtedly have to endure, but which in the end will help us grow spiritually. It will actually make us wiser, more conscious, more self-aware, and stronger.

My brother was ill in the dream. An infection of his inner ear. Blood coming our of his ear. He was shivering, and in pain. He was sad and depressed. The music he was playing was music he has a good measure of distaste for in real life. The music contained the chorus “momma said” on repeat. I think this is about his current situation. I think this symbolises my mother is whispering things in his ear. Things he would normally not listen to.

His ears were infected. He even bled from the ears. Cotton cloths were inside his ears to catch the blood. With your ears you can hear things. Maybe his ability to hear things has been damaged. I think this symbolises M is hurt, and he can no longer hear what he needs to hear.

In the dream he is listening to music he dislikes, while suffering from inner ear infection. It seems to me the worst state to be in to listen to garbage music. “Momma said.” I think this symbolises that whatever his soul injury is, it’s been made worse by listening to what mom is feeding him. The message “momma said” is being repeated over and over again, while what he probably needed would be to turn it off and allow himself some peace and quiet to heal.

I left without saying goodbye to him. I think this symbolises I prefer to never have any contact over being in a conflict with him. I don’t want to fight over stupid things. I’m glad few bad things were said in our last exchange. His anger towards me is rooted deeply. I cannot change that. Only he can. He has made choices, and I need to learn to respect his choices. I will learn to put this aside me, and move on.

My urge to go visit him in my death because I sensed he was in peril comes from a brotherly urge to protect a younger sibling. I want him to be safe. I also want him to see me in a positive light, but there are no magical ways to change the way he perceives me. It should be his choice to perceive me as he wants to. Wanting to be seen positively corrupted my initial motivations to help him, though when I realised I could not brake these universal laws, I still helped him, and I think this shows which part of my desire to help him was unconditional. And I would help him as often and well as I possibly could do.

Though with that said, I think the demons that haunted him in the dream were there by invite through his unconsciousness. Certain choices welcomed those shadow entities into his spiritual plane. There would come a time when it would be foolish of me to keep helping him. On one hand I would take away his chance to defeat his own demons if I did, but on the other hand he might not learn how to do that and be turned into one of those entities himself. The key here is choice. Should he ever choose to call for my aid, I will help. I fear for my brother though. He has followed our mother on a dark and depressing road. I think our mother is already nearly lost, or perhaps even irredeemable already, if I interpret my dreams correctly that is. Following her on her path is nevertheless a bad idea, in my opinion.

In the second dream, there were two versions of M. His current version, and a much younger version. The oldest version had no interest in hearing my dreams, but he was unable to just admit to this. His younger version was really interested in hearing this dream but had to go to school.

I think the older version and his reaction symbolises his state of being. He doesn’t want to hear what I have to say, even if it were the most profound thing he could be witness to, not because of its content but because it comes from me. He might even have grown envious of these dream experiences, even though he himself has been privy to having had such experience many times over.

Not being interested but not being able to admit this I think shows he is still afraid of saying ‘no’ to me. His break of contact with me I think is a way for him to experience power over me. It is a deep rooted thing he wrestles with. I think he’s made certain decisions in his life and he fears that I think of these choices. And I understand that fear. I hold him in high regard. His judgement weighs heavily on me too. Whatever judgement I could convey to him if he was to ask for my council is my demon to struggle with. What he fears more than getting that council though is that I could be right, afterwards. That is a demon of his own making.

In the dream it seemed he was trying to get me to get angry with him, which I did not do. I was mostly confused and didn’t understand his disinterest at first. I simply wanted to share my experience with him, and looked forward to analysing it together. I was hoping he would understand the metaphors and what this meant for his life right now. If he didn’t want to hear it, he could’ve just said so. I would have had to deal with that, whether I liked it or not. It would’ve been more honourable if he had been honest.

The old version of M didn’t want to hear the dream, but his younger version did. That version was actually filled with wonder and excitement. But he couldn’t cause he had to go to school. I think this symbolises that the M of a years back would have really loved to hear this dream, but the time I have to reach that version of him has passed. That version of him is locked in the past, in a different phase of his life, where I cannot reach him any more. It wouldn’t have served him to know what the future has in store for him, cause it might result in him changing his path. But those choices would not be his own as they would not be based on his own experiences. This would break another universal law.

Young M and old M both went to the exact same school. This is an interesting detail, and it combines the conclusion of the two dreams. I think this symbolises that old M needs to relearn a lesson that young M also had to learn. I think this is about the way he saw our dad before he died. We all often cursed that man during his life, thinking he was bitter and angry, full of hate, and unreasonable. We all hated that man in some part of our life. M too hated him. But behind this hate were the tentacles of our mother. Now that dad is gone, the hate evaporated. He can see dad for who he really was now. This is a lesson he has learned, but he is going to the same school now. I think this pertains to his hatred towards me. I’m not saying I am innocent. I am not. Neither was our dad, for that matter. But there was more to him than what we thought. But I think I need to die or become out of his reach for him to see how he is being manipulated in growing his hate for me, just as before with dad. That’s why he’s going to the same school as his younger self. And that’s why I think he was sleeping in my bed towards the end. After my death he will be at a place where I have already been.

 

Aftermath 14-01-2024:

I know now just how profound these dreams were. My wife has expressed a shared desire to go live off grid, for one. This is something I could only have wished for years ago. And my sister told me weeks after this dream my brother had moved back in with our mom, and decided some other things that suggest he went back to his past. Brother, I feel your pain. Our lives present us with these tests. We answers the questions of those tests through the choices we make. With each choice we make comes a new lesson to learn, in the form of new tests. Life continues in this cycle until we learn what we are here to learn. I’m sorry for my judgements of you. These dreams just happen to me. Take from them what you want or need. The analysis are my interpretation. Yes, I could easily be wrong. Or maybe there are more ways to interpret them. I hope you are okay. I know you will be okay in the end. I love you. Thank you for all the good times.

Date: 19-11-2021 

Last night I dreamt I was walking with D somewhere on a dike, not near our house but far away some unknown place. Maybe we were on a holiday? It was dark, so evening or nighttime. I think it was autumn or winter, cause it was chilly outside, and we were dressed in thick clothes. At one point during our walk we saw small lights in the distance through the treeline. They moved back and forth, disappearing shortly and suddenly reappearing again a few times. There was no audible sound, so it wasn’t a helicopter. Curious, we both picked up the pace to check out what this was. When we got closer the lights suddenly disappeared and didn’t return. We kept walking along the dike, which ended near a road perpendicular to the dike. On the other side of the road was a small flat field of grass, surrounded by pollard willows. We crossed the road. There were no cars anywhere nearby that we could see or hear. As we crossed the road and walked onto the grass we looked back to the dike we had been following. Now we noticed there was a small primary school next to the dike.

I recalled that place from a documentary I had seen about an UFO landing near a school, and told D about it. I detailed the UFO landing of that documentary, but she didn’t seem interested in hearing the story. Suddenly the lights from before appeared overhead. We could now clearly make out the outlines of what was unmistakably a large flying disc. The disc moved fast, making random left and right turns, still without producing a single sound. I recognised these motions from the description by the children in the documentary, so I started making predictions of its next move to D. She looked with amazement and said to me: “I’d rather discover myself where it will go next.” She didn’t want me to spoil it. I kept my mouth shut and kept watching the object with her, as it never ventured far from us. But then I suddenly realised the documentary had also detailed an abduction, and before I could say or doing anything, it suddenly moved closer to us until it was straight above us, and from its centre emanated a pinkish purple beam of light, accompanied by a mist or a shroud of plasma of the same colour. It ‘sucked’ us up into the craft.

I literally remember nothing of what happened inside the craft, while I am absolutely certain there were memories. There is a literal blanc in this part of the dream. We were in the craft for some time. The dream memories pick up again from me and D waking up on the grass where the craft had ‘abducted’ us. The sun was up, and it was no longer cold at all. It was rather warm. We were wearing different clothes, too. Summer clothes. We asked a passer-by what today’s date was. I do not recall which date he said it was, but I knew that in the dream it meant half a year had now passed. We walked back. I’m not sure where ‘back’ was at. While we walked, we were both quiet. Maybe it was even a bit uncomfortably quiet. As we walked on I pondered whether or not I would meditate later on and ask my guides to give me back the memories of our abduction, cause I was still unsure if I wanted to know. I wasn’t sure whether these had been enlightened aliens, or the evil type. Maybe it was better if I didn’t remember this? But I couldn’t let it go. Another thing that was bothering me was that I was afraid if I focussed my mind on the word ‘aliens’ too much I would start tainting the suppressed memories with a false sense of positive or negative annotations.

 

Date: 12-11-2021

Last night I dreamt I was ice skating with my parents, somewhere in my home town. There was farmland around us, and we were ice skating on the little canals in between the plots of land. My dad wore what we call “lange noren” which are a kind of long ice skates, very typical Dutch things to have. And my dad was exceptionally good at ice skating. My mom and I were struggling to get any momentum, and the ice was thin and fractured also, which didn’t help. And the further along we went, the more the ice became patchy, until there was more water than ice, and we had to hop from ice sheet to ice sheet. My mother didn’t even wear ice skates, but was instead wearing normal shoes. I’m not sure if I wore ice skates myself or not. But my dad was unhindered by the patchy ice, and advanced over the water just as smoothly as he traversed the ice, pirouetting and making sharp turns, and going circles around us as if to taunt us. My mom and I struggled ever more, and it was now a fact that if we lost too much speed we would “crash through the ice” of which there was ever less of.

My mom started complaining to my dad about how it is impossible to ice skate without wearing actual ice skates, as if that was his idea, or he had caused her to forget them or not bring them. I did agree with her though and emphasized her point that ice skating without actual ice skates is indeed very difficult to do, but I did so because I was actually afraid to fall into the water myself too. My dad remained completely calm and suggested we go off the ice and walk along side the water. With the agility of an athlete he jumped on land, and helped my mom off the ice and onto the solid ground of the bank. I was still moving forward but also losing speed. I was about to crash through the ice but then he came to my rescue. I recall I jumped from ice sheet to ice sheet, and it was almost too late, but here he came and he pulled me onto the bank too. I was now some distance away from my mom now. I didn’t see her any more. Immediately after helping me my dad got back on the ice and skated away with such ease and agility, and he gained a lot of speed and disappeared into the distance. I was completely alone now.

The evening was setting in as it got darker. I walked for a while until I ended up at the traffic square in front of the local pizzeria here in my home town. It looked like I hadn’t been here a while. Things had changed. Of the many changes one thing stood out most; there were ‘crowd control barriers’ everywhere. Put there by the authorities. Some areas were cordoned off by police ribbons. There were also road works taking place, even at this hour, and I also saw military barriers, with high end barbed wire and 3 armoured vehicles (perhaps light tanks) guarding the area, each parked at a strategic location. Their colour was desert camo, as if they had been last used in the second golf war. There was also a legion of soldiers present, spread out over the area, walking patrol shifts. To the left of me (near the pizzeria) there were a lot of soldiers and civilians that were working together. They were “of the same team” for lack of a better way to describe it. They had constructed a large protective barrier so that no person could go past the pizzeria. They had also made trenches in the street. These served a military goal (to take cover and as firing position) but also an engineering purpose. Something to do with underground wiring.

It turned out to be Greek soldiers who were sent to our country. In the dream I could understand Greek. I understood what the soldiers and civilians were saying. To the right of me in front of the town hall and the streets opposite to the barrier I saw many of my fellow townspeople. Generic people, no one specific. They had their faces covered with shawls and handkerchiefs, like they were bandits or rioters. They jeered at the Greek soldiers. Some even threw rocks at them. Everyone seemed tense and scared, not just the townspeople but also the Greek people. The latter shouted desperate pleas in Greek through megaphones: “We only want to help you!” But I knew not a single person of the other side understood what they said in Greek. And even so, I doubt they would believe anything they had to say. I started shouting something back at the Greeks (in Dutch): “We just want to live here!” I repeated this a few times. Some of my fellow townsmen joined in and repeated what I had shouted. It wasn’t uniform or organised, but we got our point across that we were in alignment about not appreciating their presence. It seemed we were clear in getting the message across we were no longer going to listen to the government, and would instead ignore all their demands. We would just continue on with our lives despite any government efforts to hinder us in doing so.

The Greeks somehow did understand us, and our response caused them to become completely confused. They simply did not understand why we no longer wanted their help. They were completely convinced we would not fare at all without them, and just couldn’t understand how it was possible we seemed to be succeeding without their aid in anything we did. Somehow our protest was proof of how well we could organise ourselves. The Greeks continued to follow the orders they were given even though it was stupendously evident it was all time and effort wasted on their part, as the people they thought they were helping didn’t need their help, nor wanted it. They just didn’t understand what they experienced here and seemed unable to draw their own conclusions. They saw these foreigners as imbeciles. Their conclusion was that all people of this town must’ve completely lost their minds, for reasons unknown. The townspeople in return couldn’t understand how those Greeks just kept following orders without subjecting those orders to some critical thought. Luckily the conflict did not lead to a battle scene. It ended with two sides of opposites who each stood their ground and did their own thing on their side of the fence.