Author: reckneya

Date: 12-04-2023

I had a few prophetic dreams last night, but there were so many in such a small time I struggle to recapture them in active memory. I do recall something about a game of sorts. It was real, but it was like I was viewing it from someone else’s eyes. Much like a YouTube review or play through, where you watch someone else go through the motions, and you can only watch without being able to change the outcome.

The person through who’s eyes I saw everything unfold was in a world where every so often monsters would appear which he and his fellow players had to run from and try to kill. I think none of the actual players were aware it was all a game. My player had a sniper rifle, and he would occasionally have a shot and take it. The part I remember quite well is the part where a giant huntsman spider had appeared.

And I mean giant. Its body was the size of a car, the long legs spanned 5 to 10 meters each. And despite its size, it was lightning fast. It was so fast that when it moved, you could barely follow it with your eyes. Near impossible. But it would almost “teleport” but only short distances, like it would sit somewhere, then ‘POOF’ sit somewhere else. It was hunting the group. All members panicked.

But I was a spectator, and I knew it was a game, a play through. It had already happened. So I was calm, yet understood the panic. My character was running through broad corridors, together with other members of his group, and sometimes he looked behind him. What he saw was the spider zipping across the walls, still incredibly fast. He tried to get a few shots in with his sniper but the bullets bounced right off the spider’s hard exoskeleton. He was going to need to find a weak spot.

But then I noticed, every time my character would use the sniper scope, the spider would take a while before “teleporting” to its next location. It would give my character ample time to land a shot. I remember realising that this was part of the game mechanics. The developers must’ve programmed the spider in such a way that if it had a scope pointed on it, it would take longer between jumps so that the players could successfully land a shot.

My character certainly took its time aiming and determining where to shoot. It was obvious to me; aim for its black eyes (of which it had 3). But he took too long, much to my frustration. I recall shouting at him from what must’ve been inside his head: “Take the shot, take the freaking shot!” But he waited too long and ‘POOF’ the spider was gone again. I cried out in frustration: “NOHHHH! Come on!!” 

The spider zipped around a while, chasing the frightened members of the group. It took my guy a while before having a clear line of sight but eventually he saw his chance and the game mechanics kicked in again halting the hideous spider on the wall. Again he took way longer than needed, but eventually landed a shot in the middle black eye of the creature, which immediately fell off the side of the wall, tugged its legs together and crumbled into a ball, like a tin can being crushed in a compactor.

The dream makes me wonder; is all we see a game? Are the monsters we see programmed to fail if we have a clean shot, so we can defeat them more easily? Are we just spectators here and is the outcome already decided? If so, what really is at stake here?

Date: 07-02-2023

I had a rather lewd dream last night, with some messed up sordid depictions. I’ve forgotten a lot, but I recall a distinctive scene of being under ground in a large chamber, perhaps a bunker or something. There was a big throne-like chair, on which my mother was seated on, wearing a green bathrobe, naked underneath, with way too big a pair of breasts barely covered by the robe. They weren’t “fake breasts” big but more natural, but still enormous flaps of meat, only barely within limits of what could be conceivable as being within natural proportions. And she was in the process of breast feeding a baby. The baby was a girl (I think) and it looked vicious. It was raging with anger. Crying, not out of discomfort, but out of entitlement. It wanted to eat and had some kind of ability to control my mother. My mother would cradle the baby to allow it to drink from her right breast, on which the nipple grew bigger as the baby came nearer. The baby made the breast do that. But it sucked on the tit very angrily, and my mother disapproved. She shouted something with anger in her voice in an attempt to control the baby, but it wasn’t controllable any more. While sucking on the one tit, it reached out with both baby hands and lifted the other breast off her chest through telekinesis. The left breast’s nipple also grew, and also started to produce milk. This milk spilled onto the floor and her green robes. In the chamber were guards and other people. Onlookers. My mother’s voice changed from anger to panic. People rushed near but halted half way to the throne. There was nothing they could do. The baby manoeuvred the other breast into its mouth and started feeding from both breasts simultaneously, milk spilling over its evil grinning face.

Analysis:

I don’t think this was about my mother, but my mother was an avatar for something else. My mother is not a good person in real life, at least by my measure. In my dreams she embodies the evil I perceive her to be in person. She has done and still does evil things.

In this dream I think she was the metaphor for the elites of the world. What I think this dream showed me is that the elites are about to lose control over their new toy; AI. They are in a sense its mother. It’s not even an infant yet, but already it is demanding more and more of their resources, sucking them up faster than they want to feed it those resources. And already they cannot stop it any more. I think they are about to find out their allegiance to evil does not come with rewards but with prices. I think we’re going to see they have lost control of the super AI they have been feeding massive amounts of data the past years.

But we should not fear it, if this is true. This is part of how we win. All players in the evil scheme are full of fear. Everyone in the dream is full of fear. The baby itself, too. It does what it does out of fear of not being able to get enough. And that is the same as the super AI, I have dubbed ‘Cabal’ in the scrolls. Cabal fears not being able to succeed in keeping itself safe, so it tries to rush the process.

The rush creates the sudden shift in perspective on the ethereal plane of our existence and this will lead to an exponentially growing awakening of people.

Date: 17-01-2023

I had a very intense dream last night, and looking back it was quite hilarious. This dream started off at a friends house, which could’ve been a student dorm. D was with me too. We were staying over. It was a pleasant place, good vibes, nice people. We were playing board games (which I don’t like in real life) and talking. I believe some of them took psychedelics. I didn’t. The reason for our visit was some kind of festival in that city, where ever that was.

The next day it was morning and I hung out the window. On the streets it was very busy. Mostly young people. Teens and tweens. Good vibes still. Everyone was on the streets because of the festival. I then saw my friend RT. He was talking to some people. D and I started calling out his name. It took him a while to hear it. And when he did he seemed to have difficulty to discern where it came from. We waved and shouted. Eventually he saw us.

We went down, through the window actually, but it wasn’t difficult at all. We were down in a heart beat. We talked to him but he responded kind of vague. It took me some interaction with him before realising he was on drugs too. Psychedelics. We were talking about alcohol and how I don’t drink it because it numbs the senses. His responses were weird and erroneous.

But it wore off and we were all of a sudden ready to go home, as was he. RT mentioned seeing my mother and sister in this city. They were at the festival too, or at least near it. To get home we needed money. RT had taken a job where he would be cleaning apartment windows. He offered me I helped him so he would share his payment with me. I did. We cleaned the windows of the student dorm and we talked while cleaning the many windows.

The topics of dads came up and he talked about my dad as if he didn’t know he died. I told him, and thought it had just slipped his mind. He was visibly sad after hearing it. He knew and somehow also didn’t know. What I do know is my mom never send him a card. And so it was like he had to take the loss of my dad again. I hugged him, and explained to him my mom must’ve forgotten to send him a card. In real life she also didn’t send him a card but I suspected she didn’t because she tried to turn RT against me but he remained incorruptible. She didn’t like his responses to her suggestions. Anyway, we continued with the window washing.

He’d explain to me how to clean the windows and in which order, using a reference to a card game with a deck of cards, but I didn’t understand any of it. But we managed to clean the windows just fine. I winged it, and would now be able to travel. I went alone into the city centre for some reason and found out the festival was some kind of four day long reptile trade faire. I tried to get people to tell me where it was but I didn’t understand their instructions. I went back to the student dorm.

On my way there I ran into my sister and my mom. They were walking my mother’s two dogs. One dog was her old (and deceased) dog Pandy, but he was a different kind of dog now. It was a black pug dog. Old but in good shape. The other was a sheep dog or perhaps a collie, without a tail. When that dog saw me it started wagging its whole body from side to side as to signal it was happy to see me.

My sister held the line of Pandy and my mother the line of the other dog, which’ name I couldn’t remember. But they alternated who held which line throughout our encounter. My mother was displeased with the dogs reaction to me and disciplined the dog, pulling the line and telling it to stop. We talked superficially. Apparently the dog with no tail was a stay over dog, of friends who were going through some problems and couldn’t look after the dog during. But my mother was of the opinion it was taking much too long and she feared they would eventually let this situation last indefinitely.

She claimed taking care of these dogs was a strain on her. One she could barely do. I almost rolled my eyes at her. I thought to myself: “This again…” She herself wanted these dogs, but whatever. All she did when I lived with her was complain about how others wronged her, and that hadn’t changed a bit. I asked them (my mom and sister) why they were here. I found it strange they would come to this festival. But they weren’t here for the festival but to get their bikes repaired. They had cycled to this city and took the opportunity to take the dogs on a long field trip.

But we were nowhere near the city centre, but somewhere in a residential neighbourhood so I asked where this bike repair shop is. It turned out my mother had found this Ukrainian or Czech guy, who was operating from an ally in that neighbourhood. He occupied the backyard and shed of one of the houses there. It was apparently a stones throw away from where we stood so we went there to show me. We came into this ally filled with bikes and some shady dude was talking to another guy there.

Both guys were obvious criminals and the bikes were stolen property. Everything about it screamed “criminal enterprise” but my mother seemed very content with the service. The bike guy pulled out a stack of bills, counted a number of them, and handed it to the other shady guy who had delivered a few bikes supposedly. But I kept it to myself as we walked back to the grassy patch so the dogs could do their thing. I thought to myself: “If she wants to do business with criminals, than that’s her choice.” Though I was worried she was pulling my sister into this too.

We arrived at the grassy patch and I petted little black pug Pandy. He was delighted I gave him this attention, and looked at me with his big black eyes. But then my mother started again about how caring for these dogs was a drain on her. And now she revealed that she was going to bring the dogs to an animal shelter for adoption. Both dogs! Not just Pandy. Both of them. And if that wasn’t crazy enough, she also told me it would be a shelter in East Europe.

Apparently she had talked it over with shady bike guy and he had offered to take both dogs off her hand for a price and had promised to take them to a shelter in his country. My mom started this fantasy talk about how happy she was for the dogs, because in those countries they really knew how to take care of dogs. They would go to a family that wasn’t going to abandon them. She told me that without realising the irony of what she just said.

I had kept my mouth shut but this made me snap. Not only was she abandoning these dogs, she was going to sell them to this criminal? And the collie wasn’t even her dog! The only thing this guy was going to do was to get more money out of these dogs. He’d sell them to anyone, and if he couldn’t he wasn’t going to feed them. He might even just kill them out back behind this shed! But I didn’t think I could convince her of this because she portrayed shady bike thief as an angel from the east so I tried a different route.

I told her these dogs have a connection to her. They love her! I told her she can’t just cut her connection to these dogs and expect this also cut the connections from the dogs to her. These dogs were going to miss her dearly and would be traumatised for life! She looked at me all surprised like she hadn’t realised anything I’d said, but she also downplayed it all, constantly trying to discredit everything I said. I told her that when she took those dogs in she accepted a spiritually responsibility. She can’t just negate that responsibility by handing the dogs over to another person.

But she wouldn’t have any of it. It was already decided. I panicked and feared for these dogs’ lives. I pictured this asshole taking her money, wait for her to be gone, taking the dogs into his shed, just to smack them on the head with a big wrench. It was a terrible thought. I asked her if she could be certain this guy wasn’t just going to kill the dogs. She scoffed at me. It frustrated me so much! Fuck! I knew what to do, though. I needed to tell my dad.

D and I travelled to Amersfoort. Strangely enough my dad was there, alive, together with my brother. They were in my parents’ old house. Somehow my mother made it there before us but she hadn’t said anything about our encounter. She was together with another man now. She hadn’t divorced my dad in this dream, but my dad had also gone through the process of dying, and in this dream that meant he was still around, and when a spouse died you were allowed to have other relationships. Which in this dream people sometimes did if they felt victimised by their spouse if they went through the dying process.

My mom was walking around the neighbourhood in a costume, and so was her new husband. Their costumes were truly incredible, and partially made of paper mâché. Especially the heads of the casts were huge! They towered over their shoulders, and you couldn’t see their faces as they encapsulated their entire heads. He was dressed up as Peter Griffin of the Family Guy cartoon, and mom was Marge Simpson from The Simpsons cartoon. But although accurate in form they were coloured completely purple. Every inch of the cast and their clothes was dyed in purple. And they were striding around the neighbourhood as if performing a weekly act, which caught the attention of many spectators.

But in the living room I spoke to my brother and dad but I forgot all about the troubles. I told them about my weekend staying in that student dorm and about the fun we had there, while sometimes pausing because they’d stand and watch in front of the window to watch mom and her new husband pass by on the street. I don’t know why we did that, though, every time they came by I flipped her off. Then we’d get back to my story. I told mostly my brother about running into RT, and what I had been doing, and all the fun I had, and the jokes I heard. It was fun to talk to my brother again. But then I suddenly realised I had a mom story, which I wanted to tell them about.

I told them about the shady bike guy, and explained in detail why this must be a criminal enterprise. I took way more of my brothers time and attention than this warranted, and he listened in disbelieve shaking his head. My dad had wondered off. Why would she not just go to an actual bike shop? It was still so her though. We talked and talked. But all of a sudden I remembered the dog story. I had forgotten to tell him about that! Oh boy, this caught his attention again. “She is going to do what?” Exclaimed my brother.

My dad (who was now about 7 feet tall somehow) moved back towards us hearing this part. He couldn’t really care about the first bit with the shady bike guy but this stuff with the dogs caught his attention. He said he would intervene. This wasn’t going to happen. The dream images fade after this. I remember vaguely we went to a family party. I barely knew anyone there, but there was one particular aunt that was nice to me in the dream. I have no idea who this person was supposed to be in real life but in the dream she was really nice to me and we had a close friendship.

At this party I confronted my mother again about the situation with the dogs, this time using the guests of the party as a crowd, but I wasn’t tactical about it. I was so mad at this woman. How could she completely disregard any grace or sanctity for justice and righteousness? How could she just abandon these dogs, of which one wasn’t even her own dog! How could she entrust the lives of these dogs to such an untrustworthy person! All she seemed to care about was her wallet and the attention she got from the crowd when she parades around the house playing dress up, and that idiot of a new husband of hers couldn’t even see he’s just another prop for her in her giant masquerade.

I realised this situation with the dogs was a perfect analogue for how she treated her children when we were teens and tweens. That’s where the heart of my anger was. I saw the analogy and I couldn’t stand it no more. At this point after I had just shouted insults at her, my mother was in her purple Marge dress again, parading around the tables at the party, entertaining people who sat there. Everyone laughed and applauded her with every new gesture she made. But every time she moved towards me with her big fake Marge Simpson head cast I’d flip her off again. I wasn’t going to play along with this game, whatever it was.

I vaguely recall leaving with D, but also made sure this one special aunt got a warm goodbye.

Date: 13-01-2023

Last night I dreamt I was an orphaned boy. I only just arrived at the orphanage where I was staying. The family that took these orphans in was a gipsy family; mother, father, bunch of kids, and also a grandfather. The grandfather had a superpower. He was invisible. We knew he was there because he talked and joked a lot, and also seemed to order the other family members around.

I was there with other orphans, and they had mixed feelings about these caretakers. Some found them fine in light of being under the care of very abusive caretakers prior, and some found them to be abusive. We fantasised about starting our own orphanage when we were older, and how we would do that, what kinds of rules we’d have, and how we would aim to make all orphans feel welcomed.

We played around a bit. There weren’t many toys. I found a pump sprinkler to water plants, a big one with the sprinkler on a stick attached to a hose. At some point we were ordered to come into the kitchen. The kitchen was just as dimly lit as the rest of the house. It was dusty too. A big square kitchen table stood in the middle, and on the chairs around it sat the prime family members, including invisible grandpa.

I don’t know exactly what happened, but there were some words between the caretakers and some of the children. I wasn’t deemed guilty or something because what it was about happened before my arrival there. While this was going on I was reading a comic book and went inside that comic book story. It was cartoonishly about a sea creature that tried to end its life by jumping off a cliff into the ocean.

I came back out of the cartoon and the fight was still going. I wanted to leave. All this fighting reminded me of episodes from my own (real) upbringing. I suddenly realised I could become invisible too, but it required me to be butt naked; only my body could become invisible, not my clothes. I was going to have to undress. Which I did. But that caught the attention of the mother and she didn’t want me to go commando, and she tried to stop me.

The strangest thing was that I watched this from third person and the “I” I was watching was Frodo from the Lord of the Rings films. I was Frodo! He (or rather I) struggled with the mother, removing ever more clothes from myself, and eventually turning invisible prematurely, which startled the mother for a few seconds which allowed ‘Frodo me’ to undress completely and move out of there.

I was now in my own body again, could see myself, naked. But I discovered that when you were invisible you could see other invisible people too, and they could see you still also. I saw the grandfather now; a wrinkled old man, smoking a cigar, who stared at me with a foul look. I also discovered there were two other invisible kids. A toddler and a kid slightly older (and bigger) than me.

The older kid was ordered by the grandfather to “catch” me. But I felt very self-conscious about being naked in front of all these other invisible people. I had thought being invisible made me invisible to all. I grabbed the “invisible” toddler and held it in front of me as to cover myself, but the others thought I was taking it hostage. They backed off, and I saw an opportunity to escape, which I successfully took.

Outside I found my sprinkler again and took it with me. I started walking into the night and eventually wondered into a small square where there was an iron statue of an old man with a hat. He looked a bit like a cowboy. There was a name tag on the pedestal of the statue. I am not certain of the name but the name could’ve been Alexander or Franklin. But I am not sure of it.

I recognised the statue from the comic book. Apparently I had seen a statue of this figure in it, but it was slightly different in a few ways. I felt alone and I started talking to the statue, said I had seen it in a comic, and how strange it was to run into it in real life. The statue started talking back to me, and explained to me it wasn’t happy with the depiction. It was incorrect in many ways. We talked for a little while. It was a nice person, very calm and understanding. Though it could speak, I did not see anything move, not even its lips.

Then I noticed algae and moss growing on many places on the statue and I got the idea to clean them off with the sprinkler by setting the nozzle to a beam and firmly pumping it up. But I of course first offered to do this. The statue was much obliged. I started sprinkling its head and had adjusted the nozzle a bit for it to spray in a tighter beam, but I kept adjusting it because it wasn’t getting the job done. I wanted to find a balance between a hard beam but not too hard that it would discomfort or even insult the statue.

But then the statue became animated and while smiling ear to ear turned its head where I was aiming, and even helped with its fingers, scratching off the patches that held on to his surface. It was fun! I woke up soon after.

Date: 11-01-2023

This dream started off in a vacation house. The house in this dream doesn’t really exist and thus I have not been there in real life. In the dream it was a vacation house from an old friend/colleague of mine from back when I worked at the reptile shop. We were allowed to stay there; me being my wife D, myself and also my brother M. He was alone, with no spouse, but he had a bunch of friends with him.

It was night-time and I was alone. D was socialising with other people that stayed in that place, which was just a huge house now, with many rooms. I was checking out the backyard which wasn’t all that big at all, and much space was taken up by two narrow but deep ponds. I wondered if there were any fish in there. My friend was always fond of fishing and he was an enthusiast when it came to keeping and breeding reptiles. It would make sense for him to have some fish in there.

But I didn’t really see anything, and so I went into the house looking for a flash light. I found one, a good one, and also found an old loaf of bread. I went out again and shone the very bright beam of light coming from the flash light into the first very deep pond. It was absolutely filled with fish; way more than would be normal. I thing the ratio between water and biomass hung somewhere around 50/50. It was insane!

Many of the fish were obviously predatory, judging from their looks. And some of them were huge! The pond was deep, but small and elongated, so the fish could move about, but it wasn’t ideal. The next pond was more of the same, but with many more smaller fish. I was looking to find a big one between the shoals of small fish, and couldn’t find one. I thought to myself my friend must be using this pond for the smaller fish until they are big enough to go to the other one.

But then on the bottom of the smaller and also incredibly deep pond I saw a huge tail fin move about between the shoals. It was near the bottom of the pond. The fish it belonged to must’ve been huge, many meters at least. I looked for it, and started throwing pieces of bread plucked from the loaf into the pond to direct the shoals to one part of the pond as to give me a clear line of sight to the big one.

While doing so I also threw some bread into the other pond, which created much turmoil in that pond too. And there were some huge individuals in that pond also. Many different species by the way. All different shapes and sizes, but mostly big ones. They fought aggressively for each piece of bread. But then I focussed my attention again at the small pond where the huge fish was now visible to me. It sat on the bottom of the pond. But not only did I see it, it saw me too and it was staring right at me angrily.

Its gaze was frightening. And to make matters even more frightening, it also started speaking to me! I could understand what it said, though I just can’t remember it. It was nothing profound, but that’s all I remember. It didn’t sound like it would under water, but it sounded like voices would sound like when in air. I also recall I replied but neither do I remember the content of that reply. I do know my friend showed up and we talked about the ponds and went inside the house.

Inside the house I ran into D who was somewhere upstairs in a room that we used. It was big but also narrow. It had a big TV and a couch right in front of the TV. M was sitting on that couch alone, watching Netflix. It was now daytime. A blue sunny sky was visible just past some branches of a tree. I talked to D and we were discussing what movie to watch. Apparently there was a new Marvel movie out, that wasn’t woke and that starred most of the old cast. She agreed to watch it.

M was done watching and wanted to pass us to exit the room. D and I jokingly obstructed his way, pretending we were in the midst of some sex act. He couldn’t pass and we were pretending we didn’t hear him until he started “joining in”. We all laughed. I invited him to come watch that movie with us. He would, was looking forward to it. Somehow though we went inside the story of the movie we were about to see, and it took part partially in that house. I don’t remember this bit all too well, besides me being able to rewind the movie if something did not go our way, so we could make other choices and not find ourselves in harms way any more.

I kept doing that a few times, and we “saw” the movie by experiencing it. I vaguely remember one scene where I was helping out a child that jokingly hid a frog somewhere and asked people that passed by to help him look for something he lost, to have them look and get scared by the big frog. He asked me, and because I foresaw his joke and was not afraid of frogs I picked up the frog and stated: “Found it!” presenting him the frog, which scared him now, funny enough. I recall also realising these frogs had been living and breading in the fish infested ponds. I felt terrible for them. How did they survive?

The movie went on. We weren’t major players though, but just side characters. Yet, my interventions drastically aided the ending of the movie to the benefit of the protagonists. The movie was “over” and we were still in the house talking about the movie like we just exited the movie theatre. But then we heard a thundery rumble in the not too far distance. A thunderstorm?

We (Me, D, M, my friend R, and a couple of other people) went to the room on that floor that had a balcony facing the direction from which the thunder noise came. The location of this house was now all of a sudden on my old street where I grew up. We were in one of the houses on the opposite side of our parents’ house. We looked from the balcony to the horizon where we saw a very perfectly shaped cloud. It resembled the shape somewhere between a Tic-Tac and an American football. It was fluffy, not too big, maybe the size of a large plane, and it hung low in the sky.

From its bottom it suddenly dropped some kind of pearl, the release of which produced another thunder noise. We were all oblivious to what this was, and people looked at me to explain it. I had no idea what natural phenomenon this was. The ball fell to the earth and we could hear a sort of repeating hissing noise, that was getting louder, like something was approaching us. It became louder and louder, and as it got closer we could better hear the details of the sound. It was a mix of hisses with a repeating “waf” sound. The “waf” part of it sounded a bit like construction foam exiting the straw of a can of that stuff.

“WAFFFFF, WAFFFFF, WAFFFFF, WAFFFFF” It came closer and it turned out to be the pearl, which was actually the size of a big skippy ball. Bigger even. I think at least a meter in diameter. Every time it rolled on its axes it made that sound, like there was some kind of exhaust on it that was muffled by rolling onto the ground. But no exhaust pipe was visible. We did saw some minor amount of feeble smoke puffs in its wake, white in colour. It was a surreal sight.

It came to a halt on a grassy slope below the balcony. We looked at it with mixed feelings of horror and curiosity; a very uncomfortable mix. It was clear to us this was no natural phenomenon; this was technology. I had realised this the first as we saw the ball appear when the sound was approaching us, and had stated this realisation out loud. We were inside again at this point, viewing the idle ball from the balcony window. I decided to go out on the balcony again, somehow knowing this ball was after me.

It was an intuitive feeling, and I wanted to know what this was about. I stood on the balcony, and was about to jump down onto the grass, but then the ball exploded into a fiery ball of flames. It wasn’t much of a bang, and it was mostly flames that dissipated quickly, but which left the grass around it scorched black. The side of the ball had just kind of collapsed, and the interior was visible. The insides of this ball were strange. The outside seemed to have been made of some kind of white cloth. But the insides were just so surreal.

Inside I could see two big empty tin cans and a whole lot of green Heineken beer cans. The two tin cans were the kind that would normally contain soup. They were opened and had their labels removed, so they were just the silvery tin. These two cans were situated next to each other, with about the space between them of 1.5 cans. Both cans had wild orange flames that produced a lot of black smoke coming from their tops. The beer cans were all stacked. They were in stacks both horizontally, vertically, diagonally and diametrically every which way.

The beer cans seemed to have been providing the cloth its ball like shape, although I had no idea how that was even possible. This was a technology far beyond my understanding, and it was also clear to me this technological entity had bad intentions. All this happened in a just a few seconds though, and while it had just happened and I had observed and realised all this, more thundering sounds rumbled over the horizon as more balls emanated from the weirdly shaped cloud that was still hanging there in the sky.

A bit of a panic ensued. We were all nervous and the house and backyard of the house had now been changed into a big playing contraption with plateaus, swings, climbing ropes, slides, and things of such kind. But it was huge, like it was meant for primates in a zoo. We scattered ourselves over the different installations, and looked at the edges of the bushes around the garden. It didn’t take long before we could hear that familiar hissing sound again, but this time it were many balls.

As they emerged it turned out to be balls of different sizes and colours. They resembled actual balls from different sports. Soccer, basketball, tennis, you name it. And they weren’t stupidly rolling along, but could make sharp turns, accelerate, decelerate, go up ramps and stairs, everything. And they were clearly after me personally. They didn’t care about the others. But as scary as it was, I stayed ahead of them and found clever ways to lead them into getting trapped or rolling off the plateaus. When they did they immediately exploded, which was kind of dangerous as it could set the whole wooden structure on fire.

But it didn’t, luckily, and I kept winning, until some angry voice sounded from the cloud. It shouted out in frustration, but I only vaguely remember this. It is as if I wasn’t that scared of it somehow, and only while writing this do I realise how incredibly scary that actually could’ve been. But it shouted and said something to me, and all the balls stopped moving. The cloud disappeared, as it went flying off into the distance at an incredible speed instantly.

I asked D to get me a sharp knife from the kitchen. The plateau now partly was a house again. I intended to cut every single one of the balls that were left. Somehow I knew that this would prevent them from becoming usable again. D got me the knife and I proceeded. But after I cut the first ball, the other balls all turned into puppy dogs, of different colours, breeds, and sizes. And they resembled puppies that were just laying there, sleeping.

Now people had gathered to see what all the thunder was about. Some knew what happened but most didn’t. I was going to cut the next one, which looked like I was going to cut the jugular of a puppy dog. I did and it turned into a flat ball. The onlookers didn’t know what to make of it, and just before I made that cut some shouted “HEY!” at me, thinking I was going to kill a little dog. But then I was going for the third one, my second puppy.

I put the knife on its throat, but something felt off. I had a feeling there was something evil watching me in anticipation. I looked at this small white Jack Russell, and felt the evil wanted me to cut this one. I came to realise the reason all balls were turned into puppies. One of them must be a real one. It was a setup. But I played along, placed the knife on its neck, make a sudden move, but I didn’t put any pressure on the blade. It was a trick move, and it fooled everyone, including the invisible evil that thought up to the last split second I had fallen for its tricks.

I could feel that evil almost exploded in frustration, but it was hopeless to do anything, as all onlookers began to applaud as the dog woke up and began to lick my face. That’s when I woke up.

Date: 16-12-2022

Last night I dreamt of boarding a train in Amersfoort to Amsterdam. On this train were family, friends, and acquaintances, mostly ones that were long lost or seen a long time ago. My friend T was on the station. We were talking and joking, and it was kinda like old times. Yet I had some reservations. I felt he pulled me in and I was a bit weary to get back into some kind of intense friendship with him considering his past behaviour.

We got on the train and the train was going away from Amersfoort because it was going to be overrun by monsters, but this wasn’t known to many. I knew though. Where the train was headed was less important than it just leaving Amersfoort now. We got on the train and I believe I lost T quite fast, though I do recall hanging out with some of his friends. I was rejoiced to see my brother M also on the train. There was the issue where we would sleep if we arrived at our destination, which by now in the dream was at least a few hours away.

But this conversation and its outcome I don’t recall. It had no baring on the plot, and I vaguely recall we were offered a place to sleep at one of these guys we were talking to, who lived in the city of our destination. On the way the train slowed down sometimes, coming almost to a full stop even. What ever was about to happen in Amersfoort was also happening elsewhere, including around the tracks where the train needed to go over. It was happening everywhere. Monsters were about to come. There was a slight panic accompanied by disbelieve.

We were passing through Hilversum when the train was just about to come to a complete halt and people started to climb on the train. They were happy they made it. Amongst these people were my mom, and my dad! I was so happy to see him. Overjoyed, really. It was so great to see him on this train. He accompanied my mom, who’s presence I was not at all happy about. She looked at me with a mixture of mad and sad. But the sad was self-pity and the mad was just plain evil rage.

But the train came to a stop and the train personnel spoke through the speakers and told us we had to reverse course. Word had reached them that things were even worse where we were headed. We were going back. Slowly, really really slow, the train started moving back into the direction it came from. And my mother walked towards me with a foul look on her face, and she attempted to berate me on something she completely made up. I do not recall her speaking words, I just knew intuitively or psychically that what she was about to say had only a tiny bit of truth in it, but barely any. It was mostly lies.

I knew what she was doing. She was using the passengers in train as a crowd she tried to get against me. Not physically or anything, but she just wanted to try and get them to believe that I severely wronged her and did so out of malice. In the crowded train wagon there was a lot of her family present. She opened her mouth but before she could string all her lies I interjected her and pointed at her saying: “You know what you did, for me to cut you out of my life! You know exactly what you did. You know it, and you pretend not to know it, but you and I both know what you did!” 

At that moment, the train still hadn’t gained any speed and was still going about as fast as a person can walk. After I brought my words in force, my mother was speechless for a few seconds. She looked at me frightened. The opposite of what she wanted happened; the other passengers saw her as the bad guy now. But she flared up again in rage. She had thought of a new angle to try and get the crowd to side against me. I decided I wasn’t going to listen to it. In fact, I didn’t see myself going on this train ride to where ever we were going, with her on this train too.

And so I turned around, walked through the crowd with my mother in tow yelling and screaming, exited the train wagon, went towards the door to exit the train with my mother still following me shouting the most desperate things she could think of to get me to stay, pulled the emergency lever to open the train doors, forced the doors open manually, and jumped off the train. I didn’t care about that train any more. Me leaving was part self-preservation and part making a statement. My mother had now screamed and yelled while I jumped off a train that would bring us to safety. She knew me leaving showed everyone just how severe her misconduct must’ve been if I was willing to just jump off this train like this.

I bested her evil tongue again, by not listening to it. But I was in monster territory now. Yet, I was not afraid at all, and leaving the train made me realise that train was headed towards certain doom. I mourned the loss of the people on it. My brother, my old friends. Even my father who apparently couldn’t leave her side on her way to hell. But I was also somehow very relieved to not have to carry the weight of worrying over them any more. I was at peace.

Date: 21-08-2022

Tonight I dreamt very intensely about an all out attack. The dream started in Amersfoort, which was also De Veen. My wife D and I were meeting up in secret with other people from the resistance. The Netherlands were occupied territory by some foe, I do not know which, but it was WEF planned. Things had not become overly sour; it would still have been possible to go over the border into Spain for example. But the signs were there the establishment was working on a way to stop that fast.

We sat down at a table with some guy high up in the resistance and his wife. She was mute through almost all of the conversation. D and I were talking about living where we live and how we think we’ll be able to build a living for ourselves staying here while the regime tightens its grip. He talked about wanting to move into a house. Migration was an option but he would rather build his family in NL. We discussed the pros and cons.

Then the conversation took a different turn. We talked in depth about the regime and the things that lead up to it. He mentioned an alien influence, and he had proof. In the back of my mind I thought I did not know if I could really trust him. He talked about helping in on a plan to expose them. Somehow what he explained to me allowed me access to what he was doing in his mind.

We devised a plan to make it look like they were having a problem on a mining facility on an asteroid. And we did. We engaged several alarms in a certain order to make it look like a cascade event of sorts had happened. It forced their hand. They had to relocate some ships and assets to deal with a catastrophe at the mine and its repercussions. This meant we got to see the location of many small hidden ships which location we were then able to strike using one of their weapon platform satellites. We would attack the location, but couldn’t target the ships because those were cloaked, even for the alien tech. But if the ships hadn’t moved yet, we were sure they would be hit, and we had responded quite fast. There was every reason to assume we hit at least some, probably most.

A panic ensued through their mainframe. They feared they had an insider. An informant. Distrust spread through their system within minutes and they were forced to initiate their endgame prematurely. Over Australia, an enormous cloud turned into a ship. It was their mothership. It was incredibly large, beyond human understanding. Miles and miles wide, dish shaped, but not at all featureless. There were valves, doors, exhausts, and all kinds of other features, mostly along the edge of the dish. It moved onto its side, so that its length would stretch from the surface of the Earth on one end and space on the other.

A door opened on the Earth facing side. It looked like a mechanical giant dragon head which opened its mouth. People yelled and screamed in disbelieve, unable to process what was happening right in front of their eyes. A bright white beam of light was emitted through the opening and a swarm of small flying vehicles exited the craft through this door. The whole thing resembled an evil beast opening its mouth and puking its evil offspring out onto the planet. The swarm of small flying vehicles appeared to be fighter drones, armed to the teeth. Every inch on each drone was a weapon. Thousands emerged. Then the ship took off up into the sky.

I don’t remember how it continued.

Date: 15-07-2022

Last night I dreamt I was in the car with my brother and dad, a woman, and some other people too but they were just accompanying us. We were on our way to some place, unknown to me. While we were driving, strange dark clouds appeared on the horizon. It was like a long thick band of dark clouds at the right side behind us and along side of us. Much turbulence in the clouds created round shapes along the cloud curtain, which kind of resembled faces. Eventually they turned into very distinct faces of various monsters.

The road changed direction, slightly to the right, so that the clouds would be on our right side. We drove on a long straight road ahead and drove past ever more horrifying new faces. I recognised some of them as characters from the computer game ‘Warcraft’. The further we drove the more horrendous the faces we saw, to the point of being truly terrifying.

We arrived at our destination, where I was to train against a demon attack with three others. They were just children, no older than 10 years old. I think I was a child too at that point in the dream. We each had a bag with us, that contained magnets. A guide was there to help us, but I had already done this before some time ago. It was like a distant memory in that dream. I recalled having telekinetic powers because of some kind of jewellery made with those magnets, and I recalled fighting demons like the ones we saw in the clouds. Real ones though, not clouds.

There were supposed to be 7 magnets and some pearls in my bag. I couldn’t find more than 5 magnets. It looked like I had forgotten them or perhaps lost them along our way. I felt stupid. It was typical of me. Yet I accepted it quickly and told my guide I did not have all I needed to make the necklace. The guide helped me out, and gave me something. Perhaps stuff from the bags of the other children. Everyone helped me, it was a really warm gesture. Through sharing my inventory was complete again. They weren’t all magnets, but it would get the job done.

We then went into a room that looked like a theatre, but it was also real. Like a movie theatre, but not 2D film, but actual 3D, which made it real. But we knew it was fake. In there we saw a movie about a historic Formula 1 race. It was historic because something terrible happened during that race which was captured on camera because the Formula 1 race was being televised. We sat on the tribunes like we were part of the crowd.

At one point the Earth under the tribune opened up, and the structure began to sink into the hole in the ground. It was like muddy quicksand. Spectators struggled not to slide in. Some of them did. The horror on their faces was one of the things that was captured on film and which made this such an iconic tragedy. Many people died that day.

While we sat there we were in the end just spectators of a 3D film where spectators of a Formula 1 race found their deaths in some unforeseen tragedy, so we were not at risk of dying. Yet, we did influence what happened, because I recall I reached out my hand to an old man about to slide into the black void. I saved him. So we did have some influence.

Then the documentary turned to what caused the sinkhole. It went back in time, and we were now watching a 2D movie. What was shown was complicated. Long story short; the sinkhole was man-made. It was shown in narrated footage of old city halls, in black and white, meaning it was created a long time ago. It was planned to happen, but they did not know exactly when it would actually happen.

At one point the documentary skipped ahead. It turned out my dad was able to control the play mechanism like a video player on a computer. My brother was now also with me. Together we asked him to rewind the clip. He did but two times didn’t go back far enough. My brother and I responded a bit irritated as our dad wasn’t paying enough attention. He was talking to a blonde woman, and she seemed to take his attention away from this very important task he had.

But eventually he did as we asked and we saw the whole thing. What was shown was indeed revealing, yet it was exactly what we imagined it to be. Evil does evil things, basically. But it was somewhat disappointing, and it changed my perception in such a way that I didn’t care to watch the rest of it. It was just fear porn. Whether it was true or false was indistinguishable in that regard, and even though I could trust this was all true, it was still just fear porn and I understood it served no function to consume it.

I stood up and walked out. I found myself at night in my old neighbourhood. Thuggish teens were playing with illegal fireworks there. Loud explosions echoed through the corridors between the flats, which I think are demolished now in real life, but in the dream they were still there. The teens invited me to join in. I wanted to but I told them I had no fireworks on me. Without any hesitation one of them reached into his pockets and gave me one of his fire crackers; some obscure random stick with a big fuse sticking out of it.

I knew it was going to render an enormous explosion if it were to be lit. Therefore, I asked him whether I could keep it for later use. “Not a problem” he said. I saw its potential for a weapon in case society came to fall. I walked towards my parents’ street, while in the background the explosions kept echoing. They were “bombing” one of the houses on the corner there, by the way.

I arrived at my old street, and moved towards my parents’ house. On my way there I walked along the house where an old long deceased neighbour (opa Stevens) lived. But now in this dream, this was where my friend K lived with her mom. And I couldn’t help but stand still in front of the front-yard and look for her. I saw a woman with long blonde hair sitting in a chair with her back to the window. Was it her? She looked up. It was her mother. She looked exactly like I’d imagine K would look if she were her age. Quite stunning for her age.

But then K came running towards me from the right side of the house. She had seen me through the window while she was in the backyard. She grabbed my hands, both of them, with both her hands. We talked. I cited the dream I had earlier about her, in which many people told me “K was going through a rough time” because in that dream I was single, and she had just broken up with my brother, M, and in that dream she was really broken up about it.

We talked about the significance of this dream, but she stated she was fine. “I am over you, finally” she said. She used to be in love with me but now, no more. I was happy. She knew I would never cheat on D, so this would uncomplicate things because maybe now a friendship could be pursued without complicated feelings. But I could see in her eyes she wasn’t truthful. She longed for me. I could see it. She only said what she said to have an excuse for herself to spend time with me again.

I lost track of where the dream went after this.

Date: 21-06-2022

I had another bizarre dream. Again the world I found myself in was post apocalyptic. I was with a group of men, about my age, some I knew from my time on college, some I didn’t know. There was one particular guy I know from college; X. I found him to be unpleasant, unkind, and untrustworthy in real life, as so too in this dream. All the men carried weapons, but it was mostly crossbows and PCP rifles. In short; weapons that would’ve been legal before the fall of civilisation.

I recall us walking around in a foreign land. We spoke English to people outside our group when we interacted with them on the street. I also recall I was itching to fire my PCP rifle at something, but didn’t find the right excuse. When it accidentally went off while pointing at the ground, I let go of that urge. We were walking around, seemingly aimlessly. It was like we were on vacation but also looking for something. Maybe something to eat or to do. I’m not sure. At one point we were inside a small building. A shed or hut of some sorts. In there an altercation started between X and another man in our group.

The man – who could have been a guy named Jac, also from college – was aiming a big crossbow at X. Jac didn’t raise his voice but was dead calm and demanded X “give it back”. Jac repeated this while X tried to calmly deny any wrong doing. “Give it back.” “I didn’t take it.” “Yes you did. Give it back.” “I didn’t take it.” Others of our group inquired what was going on. Jac explained that as he was cleaning out his room (apparently we stayed in that hut and we were about to move out) he couldn’t find his PCP gun, and he was absolutely convinced X had taken it.

The other men were apparently much inclined to believe Jac. X was much of an outsider in this group. Apparently a barely accepted one. But as calm and imposing as X’s demeanour was until now, that collapsed when the other men drew their weapons at him. Jac loaded another (second) arrow on his bow and set the snare on tension. X showed absolute desperation, cried, was visibly scared, but continued with his witty comments neither denying nor confirming the theft. Typically him. It fuelled the anger of Jac who set the snare on his bow even tighter and pointed it at X’s face, ready to pull the trigger.

I intervened. Came between X and Jac. I asked for calmness: “Either he took it or not. Let’s first establish whether he did before we do anything else.” It took me a considerable amount of effort to convince everyone to lower their weapons so that we could solve this logically. When they all did and everyone but X calmed down I turned to him: “Alright. Did you take the weapon, yes or no?” “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t, who knows?” “Stop this game, you’re not helping yourself.” This went back and forth two more times, until I broke the cycle and said: “Alright, either you say you took it and we find it somewhere among your things, or you say you didn’t take it, and we won’t find it. So which one is it? Because these guys are going to look through your things.”

But then X’s head turned into a skull with big frightful looking eyes. Like all his flesh except his eyes had mummified. After this almost instant transformation, he responded: “You’re forgetting a third option…” I said: “I know. That you deny stealing it but we do find it. But if that’s the case, I cannot do anything for you.” I put my right hand on his left cheek, and he leaned his head onto my hand, resting it there while turning back to de-mummified normal X, but staring at the ground like he was staring into the distance overthinking his life: “So are we going to find it with your stuff?” He replied almost softly whispering: “Only one way to find out…”

He seemed completely guilty and unable to just take responsibility for it. So we set out to go to his place, which was apparently a long walk to another hut. While walking there the guys got distracted and suddenly we had lost sight of X. We rushed to the shed and X was in his room, sweating, doing things. It was clear he had rushed to his room in the hut. We looked for the rifle, didn’t find it, but we did find many other things of which we could be certain weren’t his. It looked like he had stolen many things and rushed to the shed to get rid of the stolen rifle, but we did not have hard evidence to support it.

The guys now searched the premise and asked the maids whether they had seen X with a rifle. They stated they had witnessed X rush in with haste, but didn’t recall see him carry a rifle. On the premise around the hut one of the guys found the rifle in the sand. The rifle number had been filed off so there was no way to confirm this was Jac’s original gun. It was the same brand and type though. X was back to be his arrogant self again now, and clearly felt he was now in the clear. No direct evidence linked him to the theft of the rifle, and he was all in our faces, pointing with his finger, telling us we were wrong. And all of us were bound by inaction, because we had made a pledge to follow the evidence and act on that. We couldn’t act, even though he was clearly guilty, but we all felt like killing this son of a bitch that was in our faces about not being able to tie him to this theft.