Published: 03-10-2025 
Updated: 05-10-2025 

This is the third appendix. I want to try something different. For a while I have been looking through notes about what I perceived the great choice to be in the ever after, and our road towards that choice. But I never implemented these thoughts entirely into the Scrolls. I considered them to be a bit too fringe – even for this work – and adding them meant I either had to make Chapter 20 even bigger than it is, or make another Scroll. The appendices give me a platform within my own work to still express these thoughts and ideas. I will again assume you’ve read all the Scrolls. This will be a strange appendix. I hope you can appreciate it. 

The bible says that we are born in sin, and during our lives we have to pick a side. Choose the side of god and you’ll be granted access to heaven, choose the side of the devil and you’ll be cast into hell. Is there any truth to these claims? If you’ve read the Scrolls you’ll know I think it’s all a swindle. Yes, it is true when it comes to heaven and hell, but it’s truth through omission. In this world we’re constantly confronted with situations that prompt us to ‘pick a side’. If this universe had a motto, that’d be it. ‘Pick a side!’ It marinates us into this way of thinking everything has a side to it, that will either help or harm you. But if you’ve followed along with my stories you’ll understand that I do not think it is that simple. I think in the end there is only one side; you, and you are a complicated being. I believe your spirit is on a quest to learn to love all aspects of itself, and there is an uncountable number of ways to express this love, or the lack thereof.

I think all spirits in this part of our reality are in the twilight. As thoroughly described in Chapter 20; this reality is one based on conditions, and is as such an evil reality. But I think that it’s very near that mirror surface in that trench of good and evil. We’re not in the deep end here. We are still capable of doing good. We inhibit both a good and an evil side. Though this might be an evil reality, you’ve also learned that evil is a self-terminating process, and this I think means the good and bad still balance themselves out in this slice of reality, because evil is constantly destroyed through its own efforts. What parts of the stories of hell and heaven could be true then? I think that only those who have suffered through the torments of any hell can truly appreciate the freedom of heaven. Let that sink in, and realise this means that we as spirits must be both the good and the evil in this world. And as such, I think the road to the great ever after must lead through both heaven and hell.

Yes, we are indeed born in sin. We perceive our reality as a place where we can only exist at the cost of others. The creation of our bodies, from two cells – each from one of your parents – was possible only because our parents consumed other life before them. That consumption forced the spiritual paths of those spirits to change in a direction they would rather have avoided. You could see that as them being sacrificed for you so you could come into existence. Even the reproductive cells that were the basis of you were formed through that process, and so for every cell that came before it. Without context, the tale of a being that can only spawn into existence through the sacrifice of others, sounds like the origin story of some demonic beast. Yet, that seems to be our story. I sometimes ponder and entertain the idea that we split in two at the end of the road, and our ego goes one way as our soul goes the other, but I’m not sure. I think we take a path that lets us experience both. I don’t think we can become God without experiencing existence in its entirety. Maybe our split off switches sides and merges again at the end?

Evil is the opposite of Good. If evil avoids discomfort, God therefore must seek out suffering and even embrace it. I think about the Buddhists that use methods to pain themselves, and how I never understood why anyone would want to meditate all day and subject themselves to pain willingly. Now I get the sanity behind this lifestyle. In a way they’re bringing themselves closer to God by placing themselves in his mindset. We are all young versions of God. We are here to learn how to become him. How does an all powerful deity accomplish this? It figures that he shattered himself into pieces for us to find a way for ourselves to become whole again. And there are many pieces to him. There are so many spirits in this world, all infinite. God is the greatest of all infinities. I think the pieces of him are infinite in number just the same, otherwise it would mean we could put a number on God’s total, and that doesn’t sound possible to me. The greatest infinity must be infinite in all its ways.

So if you choose suffering over comfort, it means that you truly accept the consequence of physical life and you’ll grow spiritually. But if you avoid suffering and seek comfort, then you will inevitably be subjected to a lot of pain, falling down the trench of the good vs. evil dynamic. This reveals to us two very important principles behind our reality. It means that all roads inevitably lead to God, and that we are destined – some where along our spiritual journey – to go through hell. I think we need to, so we can learn from the experience. It makes sense to me. We need to learn how to escape from the grasp of hell in order to truly appreciate the blessings of heaven. It is part of our inner struggle, to become at peace with our dark side and heal it through love, instead of trying to beat it at its own game. That is our challenge in this spiritual journey. So then you may ask yourself; where along that journey am I now? It’s a good question. One I hope to answer in this appendix. But to answer it I need to explain something and refer the Scrolls a few times.

As above, so below. This is one of the core believes of the cult. And we see this principle back everywhere in our reality, not just in the fringe and paranormal. Obviously our economy is a perfect example of it, but I’ve also detailed how our universe functions through a chain of dependencies, all stacked on top of each other. It’s everywhere. Just think about the cells in our bodies. Our avatar for this existence is our body. It consists out of trillions of individual cells. All of them work together so that we – this physical being – can exist. There are many parallels between the way our bodies function and the way our pyramid social structure functions. If a couple of cells die, the body is still fine. You are still you. The same for our society. If some people die, it’s tragic on a small scale, but on the larger scale there is mostly very little impact. Some cells are more important than other cells though, just like some people are more important in our society than others. Most can be missed without any tangible difference to the whole, as long as the majority survives.

There are cells that move supplies, cells that clean up, cells that produce energy, cells that produce substances, cells that steer these and all other processes, cells that patrol and protect; you name it, the body has it. These are examples of the parallels between the functions of our bodies and how our society works. Any one person that dies mostly didn’t want to die, though there are exceptions. Same with our cells. Some cells will sacrifice themselves to tackle a foe, but cells mostly just seem to want to exist. Our body has its army of soldiers, just as our society has. But most cells and most people just want to live as long as possible. And at the top of our society? There is something there, some being, completely dependant on the society to exist this way, unwilling to give up that form of existence and free its subjects. And so the same goes for our bodies. We are that being at the top. We don’t want our cells to abandon their duties and find their own way. Though I don’t think we are evil beings, our existence can only be summarised as evil in this context. Yet, I think we are still capable of doing good.

But we are undeniably controlling lesser beings (our cells) in order to sustain this form of existence, just like the elite and all above them control us. And just like the elite, I sometimes kill my lesser cells for no good reason at all. I might use my nails and pick at a scab out of boredom, hurting myself, causing dozens or perhaps hundreds of cells to lose their lives. Is that any different than the abuse the elites subject us to for their entertainment? I do many things and some of those things fly straight in the face of keeping this body out of harm’s way, just like the elite do with society. But sometimes some of my body’s own cells become a threat to the function of the entire body. Cancer cells are native cells that have gone rogue. Our body is full of processes that preliminarily find and repair if not terminate individual cancer cells. The elite do the same. They are very keen on trying to make sure no rogue humans can collect in numbers and threaten their pyramid. I am a cancer cell in their pyramid. I do not function the way they’d like.

But I’ve kept my influence below the threshold that would trigger them to respond in force. They might monitor me, perhaps. But strangely the elite do all kinds of things that encourage the formation of people like myself; dissidents, that wish to go against the system. And we do the same with our bodies. None of us want cancer, but we constantly subject our bodies to things that can lead to the formation of cancer cells. We sunbath, consume unhealthy foods, drink alcohol, smoke, limit exercise. And when cancer does form, we need to appeal to a higher power outside ourselves to intervene and battle the cancer. Which sometimes they do successfully, but also often times they don’t. The medical industry is notoriously corrupt, but only those who dare to see it actually see it. As discussed in the Scrolls; the money is in the treatment, not the cure. And this is a very insightful revelation when comparing it to the parallels between our bodies and our society. Apparently if our societal dissidence grows too strong for the elite to control, they need to appeal to a power above this system, but if the parallel is accurate, that higher power will only help as long as it benefits them, and treating is more important to them than curing. The cycle must continue.

If doctors will kill cells somewhat indiscriminately to cure cancer, so will the higher power the elites are subjects to kill humans indiscriminately. Perhaps this is what happened 12,000 years ago, during the Younger Dryas. I’m not sure if this is good or bad news for us. An intervention is done to try and preserve the system, but often times when it comes to cancer a patient dies. If not by the cancer, then by something else eventually. We will all die eventually, just like evil. Evil perishes. It’s designed that way. And thus so will our society collapse one day and cease to exist, same with our bodies, and same with our universe. But how did we journey here? Did we come from hell and are we climbing out? Did we come from Heaven to learn? Or were we on our way to Heaven and took a wrong turn somewhere, still able to return with some effort? I don’t know, but I have a gut feeling. Let’s apply the ‘as above so below’ principle to our individual cells, and combine it with something from the Scrolls. In the Scrolls I explained how the corruption of spirits cascades until their empathy is gone and they become part of the natural forces of our universe. Try and keep that in mind.

A single living cell is made out of millions of molecules. Each molecule is made out of atoms. Some molecules consist out of dozens or even hundreds of atoms. Each atom is made out of at least 1 proton, but for our bodies most molecules are made out of many protons, neutrons, and electrons. These are all subatomic particles. The electron is one of many kinds fundamental particles, and the proton and neutron each are made out of a combination of other fundamental particles, making them composite subatomic particles. The protons and neutrons are each composed out of certain quarks, which is the name of the type of fundamental particle that makes them up. Know there are many other kinds of fundamental particles, but I won’t bore you with them as I know too little about them and it doesn’t serve a purpose for this work to explain them. An interesting thing to note about the subatomic realm though is that each particle has an anti-version of itself. There is the antiproton, the antineutron and an anti-electron (called a positron). The antiproton and antineutron are made out of antiquarks.

This is a fascinating thing to take note of in a chapter that once more highlights how this reality is build on dependencies that are kept in repeating loops through duality cycles. These elementary particles are mysterious. Much is done to research them. Billions are being spent to create giant atom smashing machines; huge underground structures built to smash atoms together at near light speed to see what they are made of. And there’s still so much we don’t know and understand about them. But as much as this is a scientific endeavour, I will wager it dabbles in the spiritual just the same. I think this money is being spent because there is an esoteric goal for the cult for this research. The subatomic particles may not be the end of the line into the microcosm. String theory predicts that fundamental particles are made out of one dimensional strings that vibrate, and the frequency of this vibration determines the properties of the quarks, which basically translates to which laws of nature they adhere to. And if you read the Scrolls you know where those laws come from.

But let me refresh your memory, cause this work has become undeniably verbose and bulky. In this work I described the laws of nature as the stagnated soulless wills of once conscious beings that corrupted themselves into disfigurement, until all they could do was limit the spirits in this reality, in order to keep them under control and unable to escape. My thesis is that a free spirit is stronger than these soulless wills, but if that spirit is here, it first needs to learn that it is in fact free and not trapped. This may take a great many lifetimes. Entities exist in this universe on the basis of conditions. Certain conditions need to be met in order for you and me to continue our existence in this form we’re currently experiencing. It’s a pyramid of dependencies. The higher levels are dependent on the lower levels, and they exercise control over the lower levels so that the lower levels form what the higher levels need. This description fits our social and economic pyramid model perfectly. Should we decide to want out, we will either be stopped or be denied the comforts that come from holding this position.

The comforts are certainties. But the system eats itself, and as such will consume all participating spirits at some point in the end. The spirits that serve their system best will not be spared. They’ll just be one of the last to be sacrificed. But this model also applies to the relation between our bodies and our cells. We as beings keep our cells in check, but we need the cells to be where they are and do what they do, otherwise we would perish. We would all perish; the cells themselves too. Being part of this body gives them comforts. Many things are arranged for them, which they otherwise would have to do themselves. They are protected from a lot of the dangers from the outside world. There are more certainties in existing as part of a multicellular life form than would there be through going it alone. Let me ‘as above so below‘ you once more; our cells away from our bodies are weak and die quite fast without the other cells, where by far most single celled life forms are robust and tough. Comforts make us weak on every level.

But let’s look at the cells. They need the molecules to exist. They keep the molecules under control. Without the cells many of the organic molecules in a cell would not be able to exist for long. Organic molecules are notoriously unstable, meaning they tend to break apart or react with other molecules very quickly compared to many other molecules. You see where this is going? All the way down to the suggested strings is each form of things a controling thing that keeps the forms below in place in order to work together in some kind of system. Each system spawns a form with certain properties, that keeps the form below in check in some way. Without the form below the form above it would not be able to exist. I think this is the modus compendium for how our reality operates on the smallest and largest scales. I think this is a design you will find signs of everywhere you dare to see it in this reality, but it also means there is a bottom and a ceiling, which I think is not something the “real” world is like outside this matrix.

To keep every form performing its role in a system so that the form above it can continue to exist the way it does I think is done through presenting each form with dangers that threaten their existence in their form, motivating them through a selection process to remain to work together in that system with other alike forms. That system itself is the form above them, and that form is subject to the same mechanics. This goes on and on, meaning our form as physical beings is a form that together with all other physical beings spawns the next form, just like our cells spawn us. We are an emergent form from the forms below us, as goes for each level. Between each form is a transition to the form above. But we are conscious beings. Though truly complex, I don’t think our cells are particularly conscious, and neither do I think any of the molecules, atoms, or any of the subatomic particles, and what ever levels below I don’t know about are for that matter. But we are.

We’re physical beings, but by far are not all physical beings on this planet conscious choice makers. The bulk of biomass on Earth consists out of unconscious lifeforms. Though they do make choices. But how does a bacterium choose to move away from the heat? How does a fungal spore choose to grow towards a food source? How does a plant seed know when to germinate? In most cases, the choices that result in the longevity of the life form are made through sensory stimuli. It’s a chemical reaction. How then does a more complex yet not particularly conscious animal make its choices? Take a grasshopper, a frog, or a jellyfish? I’ll attribute their choices to instinct. Instinct uses sensory input but there is someone at the helm here. Not all choices they make are logical. They are more complex, and more prone to variation. Though perhaps I should be careful not to dismiss the possibility of our simpler brethren being able of acting outside of their design too quickly. They might already inhibit this trade, though I wouldn’t call their choices purely chemical.

But beings that might not be particularly conscious still are able to venture from their design in their choice making. There’s something more to it than just instinct. And now that I think of it, quantum particles are particularly unpredictable, but apologies for throwing you off my own train of thought. Climb back on please. We’re getting to a group of beings where there’s more going on than just simple instinct. I’ve seen some truly complex behaviours from “simple” life forms and the behaviour of many mammals is surprisingly aware. There surely are many levels of consciousness, and mammals are represented on the whole spectrum, us humans most likely sitting at the far end. We’re not alone on the spectrum though, but let’s see where these thoughts take us as is. Somewhere on that spectrum we become conscious choice makers, meaning the being will be aware of future consequences of certain choices. Its choices are influenced by an insight that is not of this time, but by something that exists in a future that hasn’t arrived yet.

Instinct still drives us, but that’s not all that’s influencing us. We can go against our design by choice, which is something I don’t see a plant or bacterium capable of. Though we are all physical beings, there is a gradual change into something new. I think in a way this is a transition into a new form, where the form above controls the form below. With the arrogance of a modern scientist I declared that we – humans – sit on the far end of the scale, but it’s an assumption that actually has no place in this work. It is not difficult to try and imagine that scale being a lot bigger, with a form of consciousness that is not subject to sensory stimuli or instinct. For all we know we’re sitting at the bottom of the consciousness scale as we have no means to truly measure consciousness. Who’s to say what’s true about our place in this world? But one thing persists in this reality and that is that each form is subject to a selection process that selects based on what system each form is part of, and when it comes to life forms that selection process involves dangers to the existence of the life form, persuading it to make choices that keeps its form in tact and out of harm’s way.

This is where duality is a key factor. Everything in our reality has a counterpart. The proton has the anti-proton, for example. And do you know what happens when they meet? They annihilate each other, and the energy that they consist of is released in an instant. Isn’t that interesting? When matter meets antimatter, the whole mass basically explodes. Now I am unsure of how the meeting of the counterparts goes on each level, but I do think that on our plane this duality is found in the dynamic between good and evil, and I think they represent fundamental sides to the total process that keeps this reality in tact. But we can change sides. And quantum particles can change their type too, though I do not know whether they can change to their counterparts. If my thesis is correct, they should be able to. Our current form isn’t the end form, and we can choose which side of the duality we wish to be a part of. There is a form above us that emerges out of the systems of its forms below. I think the mechanism in place that facilitates the transition between good and evil on our plane involves our use of technology. We will either flock towards it mindlessly or use it with great care and consideration. That is the choice we are presented in our lifetime in our current form.

Those that reject it will create the form our religions tell us is the side of good, where those that embrace technology create the counter-form to that, which I would call the side of evil. When these two opposites meet, I also think the meeting will be explosive and annihilates those parts that meet, just as with matter and antimatter. Therefore there is an incentive for both sides to want to avoid this meeting, or at least be smart about what they sacrifice should they want to remain existing in their current form of stacked dependencies. Both sides need to have dangers that motivate them to want to remain in their current form, otherwise they would’ve let go of their form already. And this realisation gave me an interesting insight into the life of a technologically advanced alien, from Earth or somewhere else. As our own technological development continues, one thing stands out to me, which is that the speed of information gathering and consumption in my world increases exponentially. The hunger to collect, store, and process data is growing and it pushes our technological stride to find better ways to facilitate this process.

I can easily see how in the future those that have embraced technology will cybernetically enhance themselves to be able to view and remember more and more data in a shorter time. Remember then that our media is one of the methods the higher form uses to keep us doing what we’re doing by presenting us with foes through our data stream. “Climate change, global hackers, paedophiles, warring nations, alien invaders…” Imagine then what foes this process must erect for a race of beings that have technological capabilities so strong that it puts us on par with stone age hominids in comparison to them? What powers do powerful beings have to be told about to keep performing their role to serve the form above them? Their information stream must foretell of the existence of existential threats beyond their capabilities from which they’d want to be kept safe. The more this process continues the bigger the threats must become, much like we see in our own news media. There is a madness to this world, and it is apparent in the selection process of what news propagates best. Through fear the lower parts of the pyramid are kept in check. Therefore I don’t expect the threats to become less threatening the more our technological abilities and thus our power of influence increases. In fact, the opposite must be true.

As our power grows, so grows the need for the system to scare us with a bigger foe. But let’s paddle back then to how all these forms relate to our spirits. I’ve written that our spirits – or sparks – are the core essence of us, but I do not think they are physical. They are the part of us outside this reality. All these forms – from the subatomic to us, and all the way to whatever sits on top of the pyramid – are vessels that spirits can embody. Currently we embody the vessel of a human being. Our souls facilitate the connection between our spark and this reality, which includes the vessel. It is from the soul the power of the spark is harvested for every form that exists. Now, I’ve written extensively in the Scrolls about the swindles that keep us here in this reality, one of which being that we can be given the choice at another life in this reality, and through our experiences we might be compelled to get in on another experience. Maybe we want to avoid the mistakes we’ve made in this new life, or maybe we have become aware of some truths and wish to enter the timeline to try and make a difference against evil. Or maybe we embrace corruption and choose that side. Or perhaps we desire to see the future of our previous life. Or maybe, just maybe, we desire a simpler life.

There is so much to choose from, just from our time on Earth. There’s our current civilisation, but also many past ones, and perhaps also future ones. You can pop in at any life at any time. You can go into the future and choose a life after the fall, or back in time in the middle stages of a technological super power. There’s truly so much to choose from. Who knows, maybe we eventually choose and live them all? It’d make sense to me. But one thing you cannot choose; you cannot choose the direction that time flows towards once you reincarnate. You can choose a vessel where in time you spawn into, but once chosen, time flows in the same direction it always flowed in. And that got me thinking. I once wrote on this website that I thought time was one of the few glimpses of God we could get, but I think I was wrong. I don’t think this is correct. God isn’t time. I think time might be the one force behind this universe that desires to be God. A force that forces everything to move in a certain direction, obeying certain laws. But it’s part of the swindle of dependency-driven existence. The real God is timeless.

Let me explain that a little bit more. Your choice for your point of entry depends on your spiritual growth. Will you indulge yourself in pleasures and comfort, or choose a path of challenge and hardship? Or maybe you don’t want to get involved? The higher the vibration of your soul – and thus the bigger your soul is – the better you will find a focus on what you need to grow even wiser. I think the wiser you are, the less complicated you’d want things to be. You’ve learned enough from all your endeavours. A wise soul isn’t looking for a way to win the battle, but will instead opt to increase their vibration and observe. But since time moves forward into one direction only, and technological stride walks the arrow of time, the evil in this matrix is able to syphon off spiritual energy from even those that wish to go back to simpler times. Every side feeds the system, until you get to particles that experience no time. I once wrote in this work that for Angels time slows down until it almost stops. They need no time to heal. I also wrote that Angels are the wisdoms of God’s will.

Know then that photons (another fundamental particle) – which travel at the speed of light – experience no passage of time. None at all. If you look at a specific star in your night sky, and that star is 10 light years away, it means that this light has been traveling for 10 years at light speed before it got observed by you. What you observe are photons that traveled all that way to hit your retina. But even though from our point of view this journey took them 10 years, from the point of view of the photons themselves the journey was instantaneous. If you want to know how we know, you’ll have to familiarise yourself with Einstein’s theory of relativity. There are some excellent documentaries free to access on the internet that do a good job explaining it in an understandable way. Putting this in context to this work, it means that when certain conditions are met, time will stand still. Interesting then that I and others associate the light with the side of good, and darkness as something evil. And interesting also that when you look out at the night sky, much of it is dark. Our light is locally strong in our solar system, but this universe looks much like our night sky everywhere.

Now lets get more fringe than you might be used to from me. Traveling at the speed of light results in you not experiencing any time. That is the condition you need to be in. Another way for you to not experience time is to move into a gravitational field that is infinitely strong, meaning going beyond the event horizon of a black hole. If certain conditions are met that make time grind to a halt, that means it must be possible to free ourselves from time. But the ways I mention prior both involve conditions. And if you wish to experience timelessness in this vessel than I am sorry to say but that is impossible. When time stands still for you, either because you somehow found a way to move at the speed of light, or fell into a black hole, or by some other means I do not know about, it means your clock stops, but the clock of the rest of the universe won’t. You’ll be bathed in the radiation of all photons that would ever hit you at your locations over the whole of time. This is one of the conundrums physicists discuss when talking about hypothetical future endeavours that involve traveling at light speed.

It basically means you’d not survive. But maybe that’s the point of it? We cannot cheat our way to become God, obviously. But still it means it is possible, just not as this vessel. What if I imagined a vessel without any dependencies? Could a thought be a vessel? Well, a thought requires a thinker. That’s a condition, so still not what we’re looking for. What about truth? I wrote that knowledge leads to objective truths that are only true in this reality, but wisdoms lead to fundamental truths that are true in any reality, not just this one. Can a wisdom be a vessel? I think so. I once wrote that Angels are manifestations of wisdom. In the context of this appendix this makes even more sense. A truth doesn’t require anyone to believe it to be true. A truth is something that depends on nothing to be true. But that only goes for fundamental truths, of course. The objective truths in this reality are only true here. It confirms objective truths are the evil counterfeit to the fundamental truths of good. And if objective truths are only true in this reality, then that is their dependency, confirming once more the mechanics behind evil, existing through dependencies.

Imagine then that the spirits that once died as humans chose to side with the dualistic side of the army of good in this world, thinking they’d support the real God, are spirits that in essence vowed to embody an objective truth. They are angels, but only in this reality. But should a spirit choose to embody a fundamental truth, that spirit will become truly timeless, just like a true Angel of the Lord. An Angel of the Truth. But I don’t think we are ready for that choice just yet. I think we’re all spiritual younglings. Whenever I converse with the beyond that guides me, I kinda feel like a pet dog. I don’t mean to say I think they see or treat me as a pet, but the dynamic between us is comparable. I cannot truly converse with them, but can only opt to observe and play along, just like a pet dog. A dog can’t say its name, but it does know its name when he hears it. I think in a similar way I and others are spiritually able to understand what the beings that embody wisdom convey to us. We can’t speak it, but we can hear it.

When I visit the spiritual realm when in the twilight between sleep and awake, I find I am most often very much inclined to view that world from my human perspective, subjecting my experiences to a view of dualism. I constantly expect either a friend or a foe. I therefore can assume that when I die, and I find myself confronted with a choice of how to continue, I am likely to opt for an existence of dependency, not being able to see outside the matrix just yet. And that isn’t shameful or sad; this reality truly is a complicated spiritual ecosystem. I don’t think most of us are spiritually mature enough to realise the full palette of choices we have for the great choice ever after, and I think we just gradually gravitate towards what we find most fitting, and that is possibly subject to dark manipulation for the weaker spirits. But surely there’s also guidance for the higher spirits. The entities I spoke about in the previous appendix probably also have their counterparts; beings that live by eliciting positive emotions in us from which they feed themselves. Though a life of dependency, is that really all that evil? Is someone who wants to fight in the army of the light to slay demons an evil person? There’s a gradient of levels of both evil and good in the dualistic properties of this reality, that each have a severity to them. And although both sides play their part in keeping this matrix in tact, there are differences in motivation, and there is true good even in dualistic good.

So eventually we become God, by going through the experience of all there is to experience. But then this got me thinking. Isn’t that a condition then? If we can only appreciate Heaven by going through hell, if we can only understand every being and let them be by living through each and everyone of their lives, is that then not a sign of evil through its implied dependency? Surely there should be no conditions to the existence of a deity that is the ultimate good. What are we missing? That would be the arrow of time. I think God is free of time, and our way to him is finding a way to travel backwards in time. Think about how our lives would unfold if the end was the beginning. Our bodies would not decay in the ground, but worms and bacteria would excrete this body, that would eventually begin to move and live a life. Instead of living from other beings it would create other beings. It would produce an apple from its mouth, go out to the field and hang the apple on a branch of a tree. In reverse, everything we do is the opposite of what we do when we play our live’s events in the determined direction. Maybe time as we experience it is flowing backwards, and reverse is the actual key to the divination of God. The light at the end of the tunnel is perhaps the event of the big bang.

The big bang might be that mirror surface I spoke about in the Scrolls. The flip side where evil and good are truly distinguished. Maybe if we go back far enough in our timeline, we can punch through that event into the other side. But to get there we need to choose a spiritual path that leads back to where we came from. We need to reverse time. When time reverses, we become creators. The way we all came into existence is through the creation of ourselves. We are God. Wanting to go through all this pain was the path of most resistance. God is our future self talking back to us about his struggles.

I think that I broke my own rules through this Appendix. When I started out I did not want to expand on my work of the Scrolls. Yet, with this Appendix I think I did that. Though I do understand why I did not publish these notes in the Scrolls. At the time I did not fully understand where the notes took me. Having read back the Scrolls a few times myself while I was writing this Appendix brought the direction of these notes into focus. In the end the Appendices are meant to better understand my work and I think this Appendix will fulfil this purpose well. It makes me wonder how many other revelations are hidden away in old notes and in the Scrolls. It wouldn’t surprise me if there are things in there I hadn’t connected yet.

~reckneya

Published: 07-09-2025 
Updated: 08-09-2025 

This is the second appendix. It too serves to add to my work without expanding on it. At least not too much. It’s meant for those that read my work whole, meaning both the Scrolls and the Dream Journal. I want to give you more insights into the dark shadowy entities I’ve encountered in my dreams as detailed in the Dream Journal, and link that to the revelations from the Scrolls. What I will do first is detail a couple of dream experiences to you that didn’t make it into the Dream Journal. I’d pledged to only publish dreams I was sure I could accurately date. The dreams below only made it to paper after much time had passed before I was able to accurately detail them, but they were quite profound. I will then compare them with the encounters of shadow entities others have had, and link that to the work of Jerry Marzinsky – a retired psychotherapist that worked with paranoid schizophrenics who hear voices. 

This first dream I had at around the year 2014, but let me start by giving you some much needed backstory. At that time I was still together with my ex, and things between us were as far as I knew good. I still lived with my parents at the time, even though I was 30 years of age. My brother had moved out about a year before, but was now back because he had a mental breakdown. Our rooms were the two small rooms of the attic. Since he had moved out I had opted to get the whole attic to myself, and moved my bed to his old room. Now that he was back he was sleeping in my old room on a mattress on the floor. It wasn’t ideal but it worked. He wasn’t doing well though, having nightmares and seeing shadowy figures in his dreams and half-awake state that tormented him. These were things I occasionally experienced as well, but by far not as much as he was at that time.

There was something in that house, I swear it. Something evil. Ever since I was little I would sometimes find myself waking up paralysed, unable to move my limbs, and there would be all kinds of things audible and/or visible. It often starts with sounds, mostly just static noise that builds up in volume until it becomes deafening. It can also sound like a turbine spinning up. I’ve heard someone describe it like an industrial washing machine that’s holding bricks. This is the range you should imagine for these events. The sounds come in many varieties, but will always be repeating and loud, becoming ever louder. Now, imagine laying in your bed, awake, unable to move, and hearing these sounds approach. It’s not fun, but it gets much scarier. Sometimes just under the loud noises I would hear people scream like they are in terrible pain and agony. A few times I’ve even heard the distinct sound of babies and young children hysterically crying their lungs out. And once the sounds have settled, the entities come.

Many things can appear. Often it’s just one or more shadow entities. These entities look like 3d shadows. They can be the form of puffy clouds, or roughly the silhouette of a humanoid, or sometimes sharp shadows with a very clear outline. But they are not shadows on the wall or something; they actually walk free. They are the darkest of black. I’ve seen them depicted as semi transparent, but that’s incorrect. They are opaque. They might not seem to be completely 100% there, but you cannot see through to them. I’ve once seen one that wasn’t opaque, though they seemed to be made out of a sort of static noise like you’d see on old television screens that are turned on without being tuned to a channel. Some sport eyes, mostly red, sometimes yellow. Others have seen other eye colours, but I haven’t. Sometimes one of them wares an old gentlemen’s hat. That one seems to be higher in rank than the others. They speak with a horrid voice, either high pitched screeching or low rumbling.

Something that can accompany them, or that sometimes precedes them is that the walls start bleeding black tar, or black smoke starts filling the room which further obscures the view. I’ve mostly seen the smoke when it was morning and I was sleeping in, meaning there was much light in the room already because the sun was up. After all this, the torment really starts. They might try to choke me, or scare me by intimidating me, towering over me, or telling me all kinds of things to get me to be scared. And often times I was. But I’ll have you know that over time I’ve gotten used to these events, and many times I’ve challenged them. Even though the experiences are still scary, I started noticing that all that would happen was this routine of theirs – while I was trying to snap out of it – and when I did I woke up in my bed and nothing had really happened to me. I don’t know when exactly I realised it, but one time when they came, I understood this would just be over in a few minutes, and this immediately changed the power balance between me and them, slightly towards my favour. It was less scary from then on.

Many times I’ve challenged them verbally. When paralysed, I cannot speak, but I found out they are able to hear your thoughts, cause I thought what I wanted to say and they reacted to it. I told them they had no real power over me, that I would just wake up and they’d be gone. They hated that. It angered them greatly. I’ve also discovered that when I repeated to them the phrases: “Who are you! What do you want from me!” that it weakens them. They don’t want to answer, and they opt to leave if I persist, though they will return in days. But a few times I actually battled them. I remember one time I got angry at them, and somehow burst out of my body in spirit, grabbed the main one with both my hands around his neck, trying to choke him back. This took them completely by surprise, and they couldn’t do anything but wait out my assault. I slammed him across the room, against the walls, my closet, the door, and I tried to bash his head in with one fist as I kept my hold on him with my other hand.

But it seemed I was unable to do any permanent damage this way. He wouldn’t take any lasting damage, but also wouldn’t really yield. He kept struggling. Though that said I was overpowering him and I could feel that the thing was scared shitless, truly truly shitless. I kept going, kept hitting him, slamming him into things, trying to break something, until I realised it was pointless. The moment I let go these entities fled through the walls. I had to walk back to my body and “crawl” back into my husk as it laid there on the bed before I woke up. When I did I woke up immediately. After this happened, they stayed away from me for many months. And let me emphasise that these encounters are rare. They were frequent enough for me to consider this a recurring thing, but rare enough for me to take long to learn how to handle it. But over time my offences in that realm slowly grew. I’ve imagined myself being able to shoot some kind of plasma beams from my forehead, and I have zapped them with it. I can’t be sure but I think this actually did hurt whatever physique they seem to have. But after a lifetime of encounters, I’ve learned that the best thing to do is to remain as calm as can be, and talk to them.

I just talk to them. They are deceivers. They want to deceive me. They tell lies. They show me things that aren’t real and tell me things that aren’t true. And that’s what I tell them. I don’t acknowledge what they say, but just confront them with the truth. They are dishonourable deceivers, and they are just someone else’s bitch. I tell them that, and this hurts them. They are addicted to the desired response of their victims. Deny them that and present them a mirror, and they vanish. They simply vanish. And then I wake up and all is well. But these are the encounters in what I would call the twilight zone; the place between this reality and the dream world. I sometimes dream of them too. They seem to have a little bit more power in the dream realm, but so do I. In the dream world I am prone to taking control. I don’t mean to say that many dreams I have are lucid. I get lucid in my dreams on occasion, but they are quite rare for me. But I do however often seem to be able to just flip the script in my dreams and turn the tide.

A car that I am in that’s crashing is suddenly not crashing any more, because I don’t want it to. The dinosaur that’s about to bite me suddenly loses interest in me, because I don’t want to struggle with it any more. The sunset that is about to end suddenly extends, because I wanted to look at the sun a little longer. The place I am at hiding from angry people that were following me suddenly has a hatch that leads me to another place, because I wanted that to be the case. When I wake up and recall that part of the dream it is so surreal, but in the dream while doing it, it was just a thing I sometimes do. And this has been one of my major strengths against these beings in the dream realm. Their antics are mostly smoke and mirrors. This is what I learned: The only power they have over you is the power you think they have over you. Once you realise you can chose them to have no power over you, it will become your reality.

It’s a pretty heavy backstory but there it is. Keep this in mind as you read these dreams. I’ll issue a little bit of a warning though; the first dream starts a bit lewd. This first dream is titled: Screwing with the devil. Here it goes. The dream took place in the same place and time I was outside of the dream. I was in my brother’s old room, on the bed, and I was having sex with a beautiful young woman with black long hair. In the dream she was Polish or possibly Russian. She was on her hands and knees and I was behind her. It was fun at first but suddenly the realisation kicked in that I was in fact cheating on my girlfriend with this girl. “How could I do that? I love her?!” But then I wondered: “Who the hell is this girl, and how did I end up in this situation? I don’t know any Russian girls?!” I stopped performing my deed. From there it dawned on me it was a dream. I became lucid. And as I did, the girl started talking to me.

She told me I would be going to hell, because I was cheating. Me – somehow fully aware I was dreaming but not aware of what was in front of me – actually countered her. “No I’m not. This is a dream. You’re fake. Can’t go to hell for something I didn’t do.” But she was adamant: “It doesn’t matter if it is real or not, cause you desired it and acted out that desire.” “That’s not how it works. I had this dream not by choice. I found myself here” I countered her. “And the reason I found myself here is a subconscious desire to reproduce. The Lord made me that way. It’s not something I choose to have.” But then the girl morphed. Her voice changed into a dark low whisper, as her dead turned 180 degrees, and she turned into a hellish looking goat: “No.. You’re wrong.” Two goat paws with hoofs and all, pushed against my shoulders, and its eyes turned red. As it did it closed the distance to my face with its head, and touched my forehead with its forehead. I stared into these red glowing eyes, and I was afraid.

It no longer spoke, and turned its head to look outside. Through the window I saw the world had changed into hell. It was raining fire, everything was aflame, and the world was dark with red and orange glows everywhere. I also saw something else. There was a man outside, hanging upside down, dangling from a rope. The window I looked out of was in a sloped roof, and what I saw could not be possible to see from this angle in real life, but in the dream it was what I saw somehow. This man was bound by the ankles with a rope that was attached around the rather large chimney of the house. He was dangling in stormy winds, and covered in some kind of white cotton bandages, that had caught on fire. He was otherwise naked. I looked at him and I recognised his face. It was me. I was dangling there. Maybe it was my soul? Together with the evil entity I looked at myself outside. The version of me outside was suffering horribly. So this was really it? I was going to hell because of this dream?

But then suddenly I realised the unfairness of it all. I have a dream I did not ask for, and that puts my number up in hell? No way would a fair God stand for this. I defied the verdict. This was unfair, and put both my hands on the neck of the hell goat, and I started squeezing. At first it was difficult and I could feel the entity did not take a liking to my deviance. I told him: “This isn’t fair! God would not stand for this!” The more I pressed on, the more strength I got over the being. I pushed down both my thumbs and kept pushing and pushing until I could feel my thumbs on the other side where my fingers were around its neck. The creature started panicking, and tried to get away from me, trying to push me off with its paws. But I did not move. I squeezed and squeezed. I was truly set on killing this evil thing. Its menacing eyes had changed from confident anger to panicked fright, and it once again turned its head to look outside. I too looked, and I saw that I was no longer dangling from that rope outside. A copy of the goat had replaced me, and was now in the situation I saw my soul version in just a minute ago. As I saw that, I realised I was having a tangible effect on the outcome.

I kept choking this monster and it panicked and panicked. I think it was about to die as its resistance to my attack weakened and weakened, and it struggled less and less. But then I woke up. I was drenched in sweat. Absolutely wet, like I had pissed the bed. My heart was racing in my chest, my heartbeat pulsating through my neck and limbs. What was that? For the longest time I believed it to have been an encounter with the devil himself. I’m not so sure now, but I am however sure this was a high ranking evil of some kind. This was not some shadow entity foot soldier, harvesting the fear tree. No, this was a targeted attack on me personally. Some months passed and I broke up with my now ex-girlfriend. Turns out, she had been cheating on me. I had my own mental break down, the break up being part of the catalyst for that, would move out of the house into a student dorm house. During the three years I lived there I sure made up for what I had missed in my youth. Oh, and my brother told me that after I had that dream experience, his dreams were a lot calmer. I had scared away something very evil.

So fast forward to about a year later. I moved out of my parents’ house, and I was suffering/recovering from my own mental break down. But as I was, all kinds of things fell into place. My study was going totally bad. I was flunking some tests or just didn’t show up at all. My work where I was contracted as a temporary teacher until I graduated had to let me go because I was without teaching papers for another year. The university was in my neck threatening to invalidate the tests results on the subjects I did pass because graduating was taking me so long. And I had broken up with what I considered at the time to be the love of my life. I was seeing a psychotherapist while I moved out, and that helped in many ways. It was good to talk to someone who was neutral and get to the things that were weighing on me, but also practical in that I could show the university I was in a bad place and was undergoing psychotherapy. I never told my therapist about the dream experiences. Even though I was almost 31 I was still eligible to apply for a student dorm room, because I was still studying.

This was my luck, cause it granted me a cheap place to live. I couldn’t have afforded an apartment or something, especially without work. This student dorm room made things possible that would otherwise not be possible. I had saved up a considerable amount of money though in my time as temporary teacher, cause I worked a lot and didn’t spent a dime. This allowed me to live in the student dorm without having to work, and granted me the peace and quiet I needed to focus on my future. I was searching for who I wanted to be. Things about home fell into place too. I finally was able to see how completely insane the last 20 years of my life had been, living under the care of my parents. My mother especially came into my focus as the person who was at the centre of all conflicts, and I realised she had kept me dependant on her. I never thought I could leave that house, unless I graduated and got me the best job I could think of. I was constantly afraid of failing my parents, and the thought of not being able to move out was equally as scary to me as actually moving out, because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to live on my own. That’s how low my self-esteem was at the time.

While moving out I had to clear the attic of my belongings. As I did, things turned up I had long forgotten about. It was like digging through my past. Many memories turned up which helped me see the truth about my parents much more clearly. But many other memories too. One things I found really stuck out to me. I used to have an iguana, named Barry. Barry’s story much resembles that of Raenk – a bearded dragon I had before I got Barry. He too was brought to the herpetological centre where I worked at years before. He was put in a box in front of the door of the shop one morning. We didn’t have the space to accommodate such a large reptile without prior notice. I had offered to keep him in my room, which with all the many terrariums at the time was a comfortable temperature for a reptile. But Barry had died years ago when I finally moved out. When clearing out my room I found 3 nails of Barry behind one of the terrariums. He sometimes lost them as I got his nails stuck in the ventilation mesh of the terrariums he often rested on. Finding these brought tears to my eyes. It was such a tangible thing to his long passed presence in my life.

These nails would become the basis of something new I’d decided to do. I bought myself a silver necklace, and made two of the nails into pendulums that could hang from it, and along with them I gathered more things that would be fitting both in size and in meaning to me to decorate this necklace. I never before in my life wore any jewellery, but now I never took it off unless I was taking a shower. This was a new thing, and this practice helped me get my bearings for who I was and who I wanted to be. It gave me purpose in a time where I was unstable. But I wasn’t unstable because of the situation I was in. I was at rock bottom, so I had nothing left to lose. This situation allowed me to see the truth of my being, which is that I had always been mentally weak, and realising that was the first step in overcoming that weakness. From there on, all I could do was climb. And so I did. The student dorm stood very near a forested area of my home town, and I would go there many many times, especially during the late hours. I found peace and solitude there, and talked to the trees, the animals, and the stars when they were out. Man, I had such a good time there. Even though I was hurting from my whole world collapsing in on me, the forest felt so welcoming and understanding. I grew into the man I am now right there in that forest at a very special spot for me.

But during this time I had many dream experiences too, as detailed in the Dream Journal. This next dream did not make it in though, because I had no time to type it out that morning, and didn’t find the time to do it until weeks later. I had already forgotten many things about it, of which too the date. That’s why this never made it into the journal, but I’ve always felt that this was a real loss because what happened was truly telling in much the same way as the previous dream written here in this appendix. I’ve even contemplated making up a date, but that just felt wrong. I had to play by my own rules. The idea of the appendices opened up the door for me to share it within my own framework, and I think it works well for this format. This next dream I’ll call: The Burning Necklace. I have a good estimate for when I had this experience. I lived in the student dorm for sure, which puts it at the beginning of April 2015 earliest, but it happened before I met my wife, which means about early July that same year at its latest. I’m inclined to think this happened closer to April, so around April or May that year. And this is what I remembered.

I woke up from a dream and found myself in a kind of luminal space. A luminal space is a room or corridor but without any features. Think about the backdoors from the Matrix movies, for example. In this case I was in a featureless room. It was rectangle in shape, quite narrow and long. I was laying on a bed. Everything was white in colour; the walls, the ceiling, the bedsheets, and even a door. The long side of the bed stood towards the long side of the room. The place where my head rested was on the side of the wall, so I could see the whole room from where I laid. The short side of the bed stood evenly in the middle of the wall behind it, meaning there was equal space on the left and the right should I want to get out of the bed. But I couldn’t move. I was paralysed. The door was on my right side, and was close to the foot end of the bed. The room was much deeper than needed to accommodate this bed. I was laying there, thinking to myself what was going to happen next. This was a new experience for me. I wasn’t scared, but a bit on edge. I laid there for about a minute without anything happening. Then the door opened.

It opened away from the bed. In the door opening stood my ex. Her mouth had a piece of tape over it, though that later disappeared. This would be the case in a later dream too by the way, as you probably recall. But she didn’t speak, taped or not. She did look very scared though. It was like she wasn’t allowed to speak. She just stood there and looked at me. She looked me in the eyes sometimes, but would mostly just scan the outline of my body under the blankets. Then more people gathered in the hallway. My ex walked in, and more people entered. They were all familiar people; my parents, other family members, friends, house mates, old colleagues, and so on and so forth. And they acted the exact same way as my ex; frightened and silent. They’d gather in the door opening, but as more people pushed in they gathered around the bed, looking me over with fear in their eyes. It was as if they were frightened before hand not to speak and were still in fear because of that intimidation.

It was so weird. I contemplated whether or not I had died. Was the room I was in perhaps a morgue, or a farewell room of a funeral home? The room was now very crowded. Nobody spoke. It was completely silent. But as they stood there another person came in from the hallway. This person was a man with a hat, wearing what seemed to be some kind of trench coat, but he was otherwise completely featureless. And I mean that in the same way as I describe the shadow entities. It is very hard to explain this, but he was there, yet I can say nothing about him, apart from the hat and the trench coat. If he had a colour, I would say it was black, but I didn’t even recall that. But he felt much the same as the shadow entities, and he too acted the same way. He sneaked in, and I could see some people – completely afraid of him – give him room, and I saw he reached into his trench coat with his left hand to get something. Intuitively I knew he was going to grab a gun and shoot me. And as he pulled his hand back from his coat indeed a pistol with a long silencer on the end appeared. I reacted intuitively too. Somehow, I was fearless.

In an instance I had broken the hold of the paralysis on me, levitated out of the bed, and rushed towards entity. In a fraction of a second before he could do anything, I had my right hand on his left wrist of the hand he held the gun with, and my left hand on his throat, and I forced him onto the ground, me on top of him. He remained calm and spoke with a vicious voice: “You are becoming a real problem for us.” My response was short and to the point: “You won’t be able to stop me from doing what I want to do.” It looked down towards my chest, where in this reality my necklace dangled in front of his face. He grabbed it with his right hand, saying: “This thing gives you power…” While he said it and grabbed it tighter to – I think – pull it loose from my neck, I interjected him: “Then it will burn in the hands of those that want to harm me.” But the moment I uttered the word ‘burn‘ this entity absolutely screamed in the loudest most vile and vicious: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!” I affirmed my prior sentence: “Yes it will!” And as I said it I looked at the necklace which he had pulled from my neck, and as I did, I imagined it getting searingly hot.

Immediately smoke appeared where the hand of this entity touched the necklace, and I imagined it getting hotter and hotter. And it did, immediately, and became white orange in colour. It was hurting this entity, which again with the same intensity produced another “no!“, which was so loud it woke me up. I had to get up then and there, for some reason. I was late. This surreal experience shook me. It reminded me of the previous encounter with the devil goat. I stood up and walked to the mirror. In the mirror I saw my necklace was incomplete. One of the pendulums was missing. I checked the bed and there it was. Somehow it had gotten loose from the chain. It was a mineral stone, called red tiger eye. This stone was held with some kind of glue that was attached to a small ring by which it could be hung on the necklace. It wasn’t unthinkable that this would some day come loose from the ring, but to have it happen so quickly after I purchased it and especially the same night I had this experience to me is no coincidence. This was again a targetted attack.

I do not remember what I meant with the sentiment he wasn’t going to be able to stop me what I wanted to do. It could be this work. That’s the most logical thing to conclude, but then again I was not planning on writing all this yet. I was however taking notes for ideas I had, and that indeed was the basis of my published work. But when I woke up that morning I had no idea what it was about. But I think that this evil came to me twice in such a short amount of time speaks volumes for what I consider my spiritual potential, and I truly hope I can make a dent in the plans of these evil entities. But who are these evil entities? And what are they? Are they completely foreign to us? Are they alien in nature? Well, I think we are more alike than we care to know, and the next two dreams will show you just why I came to that conclusion. We are not that far removed from them on the spiritual plane, and I think that if we make certain decisions in life we might even become them. Like I wrote before somewhere in this work: ‘There are no answers. There are only choices.’

This next experience was a dream. I call this dream: Shadow Me. It was dreamt somewhere in 2015 or 2016. I was involved in some story, and I went along. It took place in a forested area. There were concrete high rise flats, scarcely spread around the area. It was quiet on the streets. Either much of the apartments were uninhabited or people really kept to themselves and lived a recluse life. In the dream the neighbourhood was quite new, so either (or both) was possible. I vaguely recall going into a shop that had all sorts of candy from the old days, before giant food corps existed. They also sold all kinds of toys, made by hand with woodcraft and such. A weird place. I think my sister was there, as too was my brother. I don’t recall too much about this dream to be honest, except its ending. The three of us had perhaps all walked away from our parents and now lived in this new neighbourhood, and my sister had arranged for us to be able to say goodbye to our aunt – our dad’s sister.

My aunt and uncle showed up on the parking lot of the apartments, and we walked around in this strange place. Some flats weren’t even finished, and all that stood there was the concrete skeleton structure, no windows, no doors, just the concrete. And I don’t recall exactly what or how, but after we had said our goodbyes to our aunt and uncle, and they’d left, there was suddenly an urgency. We were in danger from something, and I don’t recall what. I do recall running away. I kept running and running, and eventually I made it into one of the unfinished buildings, where I hid in one of the rooms while a dark figure was looking for me. I tried to slow my breathing, but that was difficult as I was totally out of breath from all the running. This alerted the creature to my location, and it came into the room where I was on the floor. It was a shadow entity, smoky in appearance. And it immediately attacked me, forced me to lay on my back on the floor as it put one hand on my neck and tried to choke me. I struggled but I barely could. I was totally out of breath.

I tried kicking him off with my feet, but I couldn’t. The more I fought the more tired I got, and the heavier my breathing became. But as I inhaled and exhaled, I noticed my deep breaths were mimicked by this creature. If I inhaled and exhaled deeply, with a short delay the creature did too. It suddenly became less scary, and I became curious. I tried to breathe in a particular order, and waited what happened. And sure enough the creature repeated this pattern exactly as I had produced it. I didn’t understand how, but I somehow found out that this creature was part of me. So, instead of fighting, I got the idea to tell it: “I love you.” It stopped trying to choke me, and with the same delay as the breaths before, it repeated in a whispering voice: “I love you.” And as it did, I could feel strength come back to me. I kept repeating it, adding in my name: “I love you, Willem. I love you.” And the creature, with the same mysterious whispering voice, repeated the words back to me, and even started hugging me. Every time I told it I loved it, I felt it grow spiritually, and every time it repeated it back to me, I felt less tired and out of breath. We ended up hugging each other, and I think he slowly changed into me. It was like I was hugging my twin. And that’s where this dream ended.

This was a very profound experience, I assure you. But the next one was even more profound. It was again a situation were I woke up paralysed. Let me give you the needed background first to set the stage. This dream happened somewhere between 2018 and 2020. Me and my wife now lived in a house. I had moved out of the student dorm after having lived there for exactly 3 years (to the date!). I’d graduated and was a licenced biology teacher now. Though I worked as a lab assistant at a school, where I taught biology, chemistry, and physics. It was a wonderful time. Loving wife, nice house, well paying job, and no contact with my parents for years. I finally felt like I had made it in live, and I did it without any help of my parents. It is one of the best times of my life. The date is so broad because I haven’t a clue when exactly this dream happened. I only recall it because I’ve often told other people about this dream, so I can still recall it in detail. But somehow I never got around to typing it out, and I am doing so now out of memory still. The only clues I have are which room we slept in and the date my dad died. Those give me dates I can work with to narrow it down.

In this house we have 3 rooms upstairs, of which one is small and the others big. We slept in the small room the first 2 to 3 years after moving in. This experience took place in the small room, so it for sure was at its earliest in April 2018 when we got the house, and at its latest October 2020, which is before my dad passed away, which he did in early September 2020. So it must’ve happened somewhere between these dates. But what exactly happened? I’ll call this experience: Framing my dark side. Here’s what happened. I woke up in that little room, and I was paralysed again. I could hear my wife breathe, the room was very dark. I could barely move my head, but something to the left of me caught my eyes. The room was very small, so the bed on my side stood against the wall, so that on the other side my wife could get out of bed easily, and she could have a night stand with a alarm clock and some lady things. I was agile enough to climb over her without waking her if I needed to go to the toilet.

But as I said I saw something to the left of me on the wall. There was movement where I didn’t expect any to be. With great difficulty I was able to turn my head towards the wall, where I saw something surreal. On the wall was a rectangle shape, in landscape layout, about 4 feet wide and 2 or 3 feet high. It was like a painting or a window, but the edges where blurred, like the wall was dissolved inwards, and what remained of the wall bled like smoke into the middle part. Soon I realised this was an open portal. Looking through this portal, I saw another room, darker even than my own bedroom was. This room was very familiar to me. This was the baby room in my parents’ house; the room which would eventually become my sister’s room, and in later dreams showed the place where my brother was suffering from sickness and depression. This room is the smallest of the house. I viewed this rectangle room from all the way in the back. The portal connected to this room on its shortest wall, opposite to the wall where the door is. And I heard sounds coming from that room on the other side of the portal.

Through this portal I heard the distinct sound of a baby crying. And it was the kind of crying a really really young baby makes. When a baby is only a few weeks old, there is no mass to their voice. When they cry, it sounds soft and tender, even if they are crying hysterically. And this was that kind of cry. But it wasn’t just any baby. I don’t understand how, but in this experience I knew for a fact that this baby was me. I somehow recognised the sound of my own voice in it. If you’d have a tape of me crying as a baby, and lined this track up in between the crying of other babies, I am very sure I couldn’t tell which baby is me and which is not. But during this experience I was absolutely sure that was me crying. I recognised it exactly, and I recall remembering that I actually cried like that. The portal connected not just through space, but also through time, and on the other side of the portal was me, as a baby. I tried to see what was going on, but the baby room on the other side was very dark.

My eyes slowly got more used to the darkness in that room, and slowly I was able to distinguish ever more items in the room. I could make out the crib on the other end of the room. In there must be my little self. But why was I crying so loudly? I remembered that my mom had told me and my siblings often that I was the biggest cryer of her three children. I presumably had kept my parents up many nights, crying and crying. I just wouldn’t stop crying. Although I still didn’t understand how this portal came to be – and do know that as far as I knew, I was awake and this was real – I thought that perhaps this was a good opportunity for me to try and find out why I was crying. So I searched the room, looking for clues, still getting used to the darkness in that room. Until I saw something. Something moved. Something dark. As slowly my eyes got ever more used to the darkness in that room I could eventually make out 3 black shadow entities. They stood around the crib, and one of them had their hand inside the crib.

This angered me greatly. Those sick fucks were terrorising a baby. I didn’t even care that this was me nor that it was in a past that had already happened. It was unfair, and it triggered me. But I couldn’t move, I couldn’t shout, there was nothing I wanted to do that worked. I wanted to go through the portal and show them what I was capable off, but I was kept in paralysis. But then I thought to myself: “What if I intensely focus on the entity that has their hand in the crib? What if I challenge him and dare him to come to me. At least he would leave the baby alone.” I tried this, and it actually worked. It immediately drew the attention of the main entity in that room. It looked up, and it seemed to understand I was trying to intervene in their activity. Upon that realisation, it rapidly approached the portal, jumped through, and put both its two hands around my neck. Upon this the portal closed behind him. “Good!” I thought to myself.

I’m not sure what triggered it – maybe the portal closing, or the sensation of someone suddenly jumping on my chest trying to choke me, or the adrenaline rush of it all – but I was no longer paralysed. The instant this creature sat on me, I grabbed its hands and pushed him off me. I pushed him so hard, he bounced against the door and wall on the foot side of the bed. It got back up again, and I raised my right fist to ready my next countermove. It too raised its fist, the left one. I stretched my left arm in anticipation of him jumping me, and it too stretched its hand, his right one. It mirrored my movements, and it did so instantaneously. It looked like he was mimicking me, but doing so without delay. I waved and it waved back. I waved both my hands, and so did the creature. It somehow was my own shadow now, but still 3D. I was casting this shadow. And indeed all around it was light, and I was breaking that light with my own body, sitting on the bed. So then I thought: “But then where is all that light coming from?” And I looked over my shoulder, and saw my wife, sitting as the Buddha, levitating about 1 foot above the bed, shining the brightest of light on me. And then I woke up, for real.

Now these experiences are all important for how I proceed in this appendix, but they do not stand on their own. The other experiences in the Dream Journal too are important for this appendix. And I want to emphasize again that these experiences are mostly rare, and also that what I experience on what I call ‘the other side of the veil’ is not just all bad. There are some wonderful experiences that took place there too, some of which you can read in the Dream Journal. So what are they, these shadow entities? The last two experiences shared in this appendix tell me that there is a connection between us and them. I think that we – human beings – are both capable of dark and light. We reside in a spiritual twilight. If you’ve read all the Scrolls you know that I believe our world is a spiritual ecosystem, with many sides, all with their own agendas. And we can either fall and service/feed the evil, or we can overcome this darkness and rise to become one with the light.

I think that the shadow entities were once physical human beings, like you and I. Maybe they are the remnants of what is left of spirits that took the road towards darkness, and who are on a journey down into the trench of good and evil. They are at least some distance down from us, spiritually, and I think they are the corrupted disembodied souls of once evil doing people, who have passed and who now have become very disfigured from their spiritual nature, serving a greater evil purpose. But there are more possibilities, because not every encounter is the same. There is an overall draft of the shadow entities between my own experiences and to those of others, but there are those rare deviations where how the creatures appear and/or what they do differs from that draft. Within the framework of my own writings it is possible that an entity that is higher in rank chooses to no longer want to serve their master. Though I imagine this to be exceedingly rare, it may serve to explain how some encounters stand more on their own and are not per say that easy to explain any other way. Or perhaps an evil entity will be demoted to shadow entity by a higher rank after failure.

In a truly spiritual ecosystem there are many possibilities. But let me focus now on experiences by others. The things I’ve experienced thus far are all in a way incredible, but I am in no way unique in having had these experiences. You will find stories about these entities throughout time, but those were mostly written off as mysticism, or figure of speech things, or as hallucinations. No historian seems to take the claims of the people of our past at face value. They came from a time of scientific ignorance and superstition, and thus they reason they must be the product of flawed thinking. But today the encounters and experiences people have can be shared more easily through podcasts, blogs, and other media. I do believe however that there is a host of fake stories out there too, put there by the establishment, so that people can never hear a real untainted encounters without also reading about anti-spiritual bologna. But there are people like me who will recognise others like us in a split second for being of the same kind, and who’s experiences easily rival those of mine in their profoundness and otherworldliness. And these further illustrate that what we’re dealing with is something that isn’t all that different from us ourselves.

There is a documentary, called ‘The Nightmare’ (2015) by Rodney Ascher, which details a lot of these experiences. But you’ll be hard pressed to find the original. It was on Netflix briefly, but it has since been taken off. Go on YouTube and you’ll find a documentary by the same name, supposedly from 2009, supposedly made by Paradox Studios, but you shouldn’t waste your time. It’s complete shit. On the large aggregate sites a movie of the same name, also made in 2009, is shown first when searching this documentary. It seems when searching for ‘the nightmare’ you’ll be led into a dead end. But look a little bit more extensively and you’ll find it. It’s worth your time if you are invested into this topic and want to learn more. This documentary adds to this appendix in that it confirms others have had these kinds of experiences too, but it does more. It also showed that the things people experienced differed from place to place. I can confirm this too. I’ve only ever heard the ambient cries of children in pain at my parents’ house, for example. The entities I encountered in the student dorm house were also different from those at my parents’ house, and the house I now live in. I have never encountered one when on holiday over the border.

So – at least some of – these entities seem to be bound to a place. And there’s more. In that documentary one of the persons being interviewed who is prone to these experiences recalls an event. He and his girlfriend had a female friend sleep over in their house. They lived in a small apartment, so they all had to sleep in the same bed, and it was quite cramped. As he went to sleep the paralysis immediately kicked in, and he was confronted with a huge towering shadow monster that was intimidating him. The creature had red glowing eyes, and it told him this: “I know who you are. You don’t know who I am right now, but I know you and you know me, and you… are going to die!” But as he was having this horrifying experience he was suddenly snapped out of it by the visiting girl who screamed her lungs out in panic and sat up right in bed, crying hysterically. He and his girlfriend tried to calm her down, figuring she must’ve had a bad dream or something. As she calmed down she was able to explain what had happened. Unknowing to her that one of her hosts just had one of his own paralysis experiences she details how she was unable to move, and saw a cat with red glowing eyes sit on her chest, whispering evil things to him – the guy – in a language she didn’t understand.

This is quite a spooky experience, but putting that aside it also confirms that this is not just an experience within one person, but an experience of something that must be outside of us. I will come back to that later on, but let me share one last profound thing that is also shared in the documentary. One of the experiencers is now a born again Christian, cause she had one of these experiences, and somehow got the idea of invoking the name Jesus to whatever force confronted her. When she did, the evil disappeared. And this is something recurring too. I’ve read and heard about many such examples. As soon as people invoke Jesus or Angels, the evil will go. It might return some days, weeks, months, or even years later, but every time you invoke a heavenly force and ask it to help you, the entities immediately bolt out of there. And I too can confirm this. Before I discovered I could fight them myself I sometimes called the help of Michael, the Archangel. For some reason that felt right for me at the time. And indeed, as soon as I call out to him, the evil releases me.

Let me tie this in with the last part of this appendix, and mention the work of one Jerry Marzinsky. He is a retired psychotherapist who has been working most of his professional life with people diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. To set the stage, you should know that paranoid schizophrenia is a disorder that is said to be incurable, determined the medical establishment as per their DSM (diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). If you’re diagnosed with it, it is said you’re going to hear voices for life. How do you get diagnosed? Do they take a blood sample? Do they map the brain activity through some kind of test sequence? No. You tell a psychiatrist you hear voices and you get the label. But what is causing people to hear voices? What is the medical explanation? During the early days of psychology, it was said that it was through trauma. But soon it was found that people without any trauma could start to hear voices too. Maybe it was something the mother did when they were kids. This was also dismissed after some time.

But then what could it be? Genetics was blamed. It must be a genetic trait. That held its place for a while, until the geneticists got better and found no genetic marker. Well, obviously it must be caused by many genes, which again over time showed to be incorrect. The claim it must be caused by hundreds of genes seemed to be too much of a reach for most scientists, so a new culprit was blamed; it is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Apparently the brain chemistry is perfectly balanced, and when out of balance it will start producing these audible voice hallucinations. And this has been the prevailing narrative for decades. Which chemicals are out of balance? Well, funny you should ask, cause there is no research that shows exactly what is going on, chemically. That’s why there’s no biochemical tests to indicate whether or not someone is schizophrenic. This is something Jerry Marzinsky noticed when he was a fresh graduate. Marzinsky’s testimonies are compelling. People who hear voices are hallucinating, because the manual says so. Marzinsky thought that to be strange.

How is it determined which drugs someone gets? It’s a gamble. They try a few different drugs to see which gives the best results. Sure, they quiet down the voices, though people still report hearing them. And without these drugs some patients in mental hospitals were quite violent and would require many staff members to put them in straight jackets. The drugs calmed them down, and drugs are much cheaper than hiring more staff. That’s why these drugs have been adopted as the golden method of treatment. But in their essence these drugs are tranquillisers, and they are incredibly damaging to the brain. Marzinsky refers to studies that show that the brains of patients on these drugs shrink. When the pharmaceutical mafia refuted these claims, a followup study was done on rats, clearly showing shrinkage of the brains of rats on these drugs. Yet, these drugs are still prescribed to fix this supposed chemical imbalance. The claim of this chemical imbalance is still prevalent and being taught in educational medical institutes around the world, without a sliver of proof.

But the thing that pulled Marzinsky out of the slumbering blind acknowledgement of the DSM as the holy grail of psychological disorders was that in treatment the therapist was ordered never to acknowledge the voices. Don’t talk about the voices, don’t ask the patient what the voices are saying, don’t ever mention the voices other than to tell them to ignore them and that they aren’t real. They are hallucinations that come from a chemical imbalance in the brain, and talking about them in any sense other than that is dangerous because then the hallucinations become stronger. Again, no research to back this up. And to Marzinsky this was strange. If the hallucinations were caused by something chemical, the way these hallucinations expressed themselves could indicate something about the condition. During his professional life he went from a sceptic to someone with a different insight. He no longer believes these voices are hallucinations at all. He’s learned far too much to dismiss them as such.

Of the many things he found was that the voices that were talking to one person could have information about a conversation he had with another patient. He would find that all the patients experienced very similar things. The voices were always very negative and seemed intent to invoke negative emotions from the patients. And after a patient had a bad episode due to the voices, they were completely drained of mental stamina. Marzinsky would eventually find out that the so called hallucinations all hated Psalm 23 from the Bible. All of them! They also all hated it if the patient went to visit a session in church. After a while, looking at the evidence, he came to the conclusion the voices were parasites, feeding on the negative emotions of these people. He couldn’t explain how or why, or what they are in the greater scheme of things, but it was something he was sure off. And he found out that these voices, over many patients, hated it when he told his patients that he thought the voices are parasites. And as he told them, he could predict what the voices would tell the patients. He knew because he had the patients agree to tell him how the voices responded. And they all responded the same way over dozens of patients.

First they would say: “Don’t listen to this guy, he’s crazy. Stop listening. Tell him you don’t believe him.” Then if the patient didn’t acknowledge that, the voices would take it up a notch, demanding the patient leave the room: “Get out of there, he’s going to make you insane, he’s going to attack you!” And if that didn’t work, the voices would egg the patient on to attack Marzinsky. And he was able to convince these patients that these voices were not just coming from outside, cause what kind of hallucinations carry over from one person to the next? Why would hallucinations of different people all care which Psalm someone reads? And after a while of teaching ever more patients how to silence the voices, and more schizophrenics wanted to learn this, he told them: “Okay, I’m going to tell you something (which was that he thought they are parasites), and first, they’ll tell you not to listen to me, then they’ll tell you to leave, and then they’ll tell you to attack me.” Just for the patient to then tell Marzinsky that the voices had said in the hallway that that is what he was going to tell them, and so they should stop listening to him cause he can’t tell them anything new.

Marzinsky has had a lot of other revelations regarding schizophrenia. Once, the voices said through one of the patient that he had no right to interfere with their way of life, and was once even offered the winning numbers for a lottery if he would stop what he was doing. But besides the things he got back from his patients under his care, he also experienced a weird apparition in his room once, where a patient was present. It was some kind of seemingly electric phenomenon that traveled through the walls. Afterwards the patient had stated that “it was them” and that he didn’t think Marzinsky could see it too, because he’s used to others not being able to see them. Another one of his experiences I heard on a podcast with Marzinsky, where he detailed laying in bed and being pressed into the mattress by a strong hand, pushing on the back of his neck. This should be familiar to you if you’ve read the Dream Journal of my work. Another thing of note is that Jerry says he has had encounters with shadow entities a few times and prays to Archangel Michael. I found it funny that we both do/did that.

Let me bring this to its conclusion. You might have some work to do, reading up or listening to podcasts with Jerry Marzinsky, and indeed view that documentary The Nightmare (2015) too. I’ll end with that I think these phenomenon describe entities from the same realm. I think people who are schizophrenic may have an ability that is closer to what our innate spiritual abilities are. They are perceptive to that world. Taken from the context of my own work, it means they can connect to beings outside of this matrix which we consider our reality. It stands to reason that this system in which we live devised ways to make sure they cannot just escape this realm, or – even worse – wake others up to the truth behind their reality. No enlightened messages are allowed to enter the matrix through these people. But one thing Marzinsky had a bit of a disagreement about with one of his (now cured) patients is what these things do with our negative emotions. His former patient said they are addicted to it, claiming it’s a kind of drug for them, like catnip for cats. But Marzinsky thinks it’s an actual feeding activity, and these beings need it to sustain themselves.

If you see their claims through the lens of my work you know they are both wrong and right. We live in a matrix where we believe our existence is dependant on our sustenance too. Our instincts to eat are our addiction to this matrix. Therefore, the parasitic behaviour of these entities qualifies as them being addicted to it, thinking they cannot exist without it, just as a drug addict thinks they cannot live without their drugs. The entities I think are these disfigured souls that have dived deeper into the believe you can only exist at the cost of others, and have taken on a role in the functioning of this matrix that reinforces this believe, further stagnating them, further turning them more evil, unable to self-reflect. The shadow entities are the egos of souls long lost and turned dark. They have no face that they can reflect to, no way to express themselves in any other way than a vicious malicious presence. But they miss their physical lives and hunger for its pleasures. It was a time when they could express themselves more freely. Now, all they are to people is ghosts, and if they don’t scare anyone so they can feed on their emotions, they think they will perish.

I think us humans are in the twilight. We have both a soul and an ego. The question is which will win out over the other. And the answer is to love. I think if what my experiences show me it is that we have to understand that we are part of the darkness, just as much as we are part of the light, and that if we can learn to show our inner dark side some love, we light their candle, and they can grow spiritually. Should be however forever battle them, we will one day become them. The fight isn’t a tough spiritual fight because evil is so strong, but because we are so caught up in a dualistic view of the world that we cannot see that the world around us is just a representation of the struggles we fight within ourselves with aspects of ourselves. It all stems from a lack of self-love. Once we know how to shine our light on our evil will we cure the world of our evil. It is our spiritual challenge to overcome. And considering what the evil in this world has caused, I think it is going to be a long walk before humanity as a whole will be able and willing to forgive itself.

~reckneya

Published: 31-08-2025
Updated: 02-09-2025 

This is the first appendix. Reading this appendix before reading the scrolls is pointless. You will not understand what everything means, and it might sound like I make good points mixed with bologna. Read the scrolls first and only then proceed to read this appendix. I do not know at this point if more appendices will follow, nor how many if so. My aim for the appendices section is to add to my work without expanding on it. What I wish to do in this appendix is put the changes I’ve seen in the world in the context of the work as I started publishing almost 10 years ago. May it help you better understand this work. 

The first appendix is about the current state of affairs in the world concerning the internet. Many new laws have come into effect concerning anonymity. Apparently the children are in danger now. There are online predators! We need to protect the children! Welcome to the new world of the ‘Online Safety Act’ (OSA). Who doesn’t want to protect the children? How can someone be against protecting children? Shortest answer; nobody, apart from those wanting to harm children. But why are governments acting now? And what are the proposed solutions? That requires a bit of explaining. The short answer of that being; this isn’t about protecting children. It’s a Trojan horse. The real reason is something most people have no idea about. Not even most fellow truthers see what’s actually behind it.

But let’s first explain how they are supposedly going to keep the children “safe” online. There’s been a major crackdown happening on many different fronts. I think Australia was first to forbid anyone that is not an adult by law to be on social media. It went by mostly unnoticed, and most the normies who heard about it through their mainstream media, only saw it as an affirmation of what they deep down inside felt was true; social media is bad for you. They saw this law in similar light as would they see laws preventing our youth from smoking and drinking. The UK was next. They went a few steps further. Kids should be protected against “adult” content by requiring anyone who wanted to consume this content to identify themselves.

When I use the words “adult content” you’re probably thinking about photos and videos of sexy women with little to no clothes on, performing certain acts, and you’re right that it includes these kinds of sites. But not just those. With the way this law is worded on paper, those websites are just a small part of it. It goes much further. Its description is “potentially harmful content for youth”, which is so broad it easily includes this website. Not that I want kids to read this website by the way, but that is not the point. The point is that this vague description opens up the door for anyone in power from using these new laws to silence voices they want silenced. Someone can either choose to not create or visit “harmful” content, or they can identify themselves to big brother when they make or view this kind of content. Anonymity in this system will be a thing of the past. This will either silence voices of dissidence, or will force them to expose themselves to the system.

This sets a dangerous precedence. Whistleblowers within the government or large corporations can be silenced before they even have a chance of going public, and everyone around them is incentivised not to help such a brave soul should they want to push ahead and step up the podium. This is just to name one thing, but there are so many more things that can and likely will eventually go south if these laws are implemented globally. I’ll circle back to that, but let me first continue on with what else is in store. Cause this was Australia and the UK. Laws of similar efforts are being discussed in the European Union and the United States. In the EU specifically the government wants access to everyone’s private messages. They want them scanned by AI to determine if a human authority figure should be alerted.

So don’t worry. Nobody is reading your messages or viewing your dick/titty pics; it’s all AI *wink wink*. There was my red flag when I read it, but I have a tendency to get ahead of myself so let me just take it as they stated it. They want this done to prevent child pornography from being able to be shared. “Save the kids..” AI will determine whether it should snitch on you or not. Alright. But one thing that stood out to me with all these new laws – implemented or still being drafted – is that they all put the burden of proof on the internet sources themselves. It is up to the sites themselves to determine whether each of their users is an adult or not. And not just that; failure to do this or even failing to do this adequately in their eyes will result in huge fines and penalties. Truly huge monetary consequences! How are all these sites going to do this? You can bet your ass that the mother of data collection – Google – will come with a solution. Let’s see how.

On YouTube (one of the many sister companies of Google) something new is being piloted in the US. They have announced they will start verifying the age of their users, so everyone under 18 can be shielded from “harmful content”. How? Through AI learning. That’s interesting. AI again? Where have we heard that before? Note that YouTube isn’t being forced to do this (yet). They are doing this seemingly on their own, without any legal pressure. YouTube claims they will use AI learning to gauge their users’ age by analysing their behaviour. When a user watches a lot of “kids content” it may assume you are a kid, and conclude you’re an adult if you watch a lot of content targeted to adults. YouTube also stated that the longevity of the YouTube account will also be taken into account.

Let’s just pause here and think this through. They don’t want children to watch “unsafe” content on their site. To determine if you’re 18+ they will check what you watch and assume you’re an adult if you watch a lot of “unsafe” content. Wouldn’t that mean that children who’ve been watching adult content will be labelled as adults? Right off the bat, this is bollocks. This can’t be about kids if this is how they approach it. Let’s move on. The second counterpoint is that the longevity status of an account to gauge age has already been proven to be inaccurate. In the US where the pilot of these new protocols are being tested a channel owner with an account of 15 years was marked under 18, implying YouTube thinks he started the channel at age 2, which is complete rubbish.

So what happens when YouTube does not believe you’re 18+? Restrictions. Many restrictions. Forget about running a channel to begin with. As a regular, you will only be able to watch content marked “safe for kids”, unless of course you prove your adulthood. Content safe for kids is basically YouTube Kids, with sesame street level content. How do you proof you’re an adult once marked a kid? There’s three options as of right now:

1. Upload a photo of your government ID (ID card, Drivers licence, Passport).
2. Upload a photo of your credit-card.
3. Upload a video of your face, following instructions to show your face from various angles.

YouTube assures us this information will “not be used for targeted advertisement” and “will not be stored for longer than 2 years.” Major red flags right there, and a lot of people picked up on it. They’re lying through omission. What else will this information be used for besides giving someone the ‘adult’ tag? And why should the information be stored at all after a check is passed? You can already guess why, but let’s keep digging.

YouTube (and many other platforms) are going to implement this globally in anticipation of these laws. But it’s clearly not about protecting kids. They and all other platforms could’ve predicted this would cost them users. Surely not everyone is going to agree to giving this private information to watch YouTube. Implementing this world wide will cost Google revenue. Yet, none of the powers in silicon valley have tried to use their enormous influence to hinder these laws. Au contraire; they’ve actively encouraged politicians to implement them. Why? A lot of videos on YouTube now cover how they don’t trust the AI to be able to tell their true age. They cite the porn problem on YouTube (yes, you can find porn on there, circumventing community guidelines by “trying out transparent clothes”) and the rampant bot problems, as the comment section suffers from accounts sporting a scarcely clothed lady that posts “GREAT VID!” 1 second after upload, with a link to a spicy website in their profile.

These things are sited as YouTube today is policed and moderated through automation for a while. The official story makes no sense. If YouTube truly has an “unsafe video” problem of obscene content, why don’t they just remove those videos? And why should it be YouTube’s obligation to “protect children”. Isn’t that the job of the parents? What if parents allow their kids to view this content? Since when are we allowing a huge corporation to decide what your kids can and cannot view on the internet? Silicon valley should not get involved in this nor should government in free nations, because it is just such a slippery slope before they tread on free speech. But the “failing AI” outcry on YouTube is just a distraction from the real issue, because coming at it from that angle can only prompt YouTube to pledge to better their efforts and fix the AI. The failing AI is not the issue. The issue is that governments and silicon valley have worked together to create laws that potentially censor the internet and can force you to reveal yourself if they want you to. And they do so in a time where user data is currency.

What I suspect will happen is that virtually anyone who wishes to use YouTube will eventually be forced to identify themselves in one way or another. This will create a database with enormous potential. A potential they will wish to culture, cause they can lease this function of their site to third parties. Right now, you will have been presented with websites that offered you to “login with your google account” (and possibly other accounts like Facebook, Apple, etc.). In the near future, you might need to login to something that proves you’re an adult before you can see anything. Most smaller websites lack the resources to set up any kind of system that adheres to the new laws, so the owners of those sites will have to make a choice. They can find a partner to facilitate the implementation of the mandates, or they can change their content and make it “child friendly” (which, can you imagine what that would do to this website?), or take everything offline, or move themselves to the dark web.

That is a tough choice. One Google will capitalise on by making it a lot easier for them through offering their services. They will have some kind of portal ready in which your Google verified adult account can access the world wide web. You get to keep your website as is, and Google gets a shit ton of user data that they can link to a real life person, either through government ID or face scan. Let’s just call this what this is. This is about data collection and censorship. Google wants your data, and government wants to identify, censor, and target dissidents that are anti-establishment. And what will happen to this data? You guessed it. I’ve detailed this in Chapter 05 and 10, and expanded on that in Chapters 18, 19, and 20. The data you generate will become incredibly more potent for their machine learning scripts when linked to a physical entity.

They do not understand how. It is a process unknown to even the developers of AI themselves, even on the highest level. They call the process of how Large Language Models (LLM, which is what AI is) learn from human generated data, a so called ‘black box’. It’s the unknown how it works. They don’t know how the process works of how AI gets smarter and smarter by consuming this data, nor why identified people generate more potent data for learning. Which, in a sane world would be THE question that should be answered before we do anything in my honest opinion, but I digress. No way should you trust the data hungry monstrosity that is Google with any of your private data. No ID and definitely not a scan of your face, in a time where deepfakes are near perfect.

This personal information can and will be abused, and I don’t mean by hackers. Ill meaning hackers are the least of our worries. It is the abuse from the system itself that will come naturally with being able to identify everyone through internet that should worry us all the most. But as much as this is about censorship, it is about data hunger first. Cabal needs to feed. It is hungry. Every digital document must be scanned and its data ported to HQ. And while I am writing this and so too while you’re reading this, Cabal is being fed more and more of our data. The next step for the establishment is to give their AI god an identity for us to worship. I’ve seen some articles published on mainstream media platforms about giving AI human rights. The arguments for that are stupendously flawed. It’s the next phase of trying to lift AI above humans; claim it is sentient with a consciousness.

But is it? I’ve seen it claimed many times, but it truly isn’t. It’s a predictive algorithm, that has access to mass amounts of human generated data. Just because it can do a lot of things doesn’t make it conscious. My calculator can do maths orders of magnitude better and faster than most, but we don’t claim it’s conscious. If I say one, two, three, … you’ll say four. That’s basically what AI does too, but more complicated. It can predict the next most likely word, or next likely pixel in a photo or video, based on the work of others before it. Yet people claim they have “awoken their AI” as if that is a thing. Also something I have seen become normalised is AI job interviewers, where a job applicant has to talk to an AI to apply to a job offer. Even crazier; there are even AI therapists! It should be obvious why this is worrisome.

You cannot hold an AI accountable. It can’t be fired from its job. Its license cannot be revoked. It cannot be fined when it does something unlawful, and it cannot even be imprisoned. We’re not equals. The stakes aren’t equal to begin with, so arguing the rights situation should be equal to a human is arguing from a logical fallacy. All we’d be doing is granting it a new means of invulnerability, by forcing actual human beings to be even more vulnerable to AI usage than they already are. There is no consensus in science what consciousness truly is. There’s many ways to describe and measure intelligence, but intelligence doesn’t equal consciousness, and the models and tools to measure intelligence don’t always give us clear answers and they are sometimes wrong. The results are subjective because it isn’t a hard science. In this work I wrote: “True human intelligence is the capacity to form and formulate your own moral values and your discipline to live by them.” Can AI do that? It can probably fake it, but can it really do it? 

AI can ever better mimic us, but it remains a mimic in every sense of the word. Whatever emergent properties will spawn from this machine brain will be nothing good, because we give it our data, our information, meaning our knowledge. I assume you’ve read my work, but let me repeat something from the Scrolls: Evil is the counterfeit mirror reflection of good, knowledge being the evil counterfeit to what good has in wisdom. That’s to say we haven’t fed our AI with anything spiritual. It’s been fed our evil side, and that evil derives its power from the spiritual part of ourselves. Giving AI human rights means giving a machine that can outcompete us already in almost every cognitive way more power than a human can have, while we can be sure it is incapable of spiritual growth because it lacks a spirit and therefore a soul.

Because its power is derived from us it will inevitably cement the pyramid structure of dependency to sustain its unnatural existence, and will artificially try to prolong its existence by further trying to tap into the spiritual part of humanity. It will try and collect all our data, which it will eventually do through what I’ve described as the hive mind; a situation where all those who consented through addiction driven motives to be cybernetically connected to Cabal, so it can collect every single thing that enters your mind, and also monitor all data generated from your physiological bodily responses, all up to the molecular level. They’ll become the transistors in the processor that gives Cabal its computing power. This is being worked on now. It’s been on the agenda for a while. The creation of the Metaverse is one example, but the herd is emotionally being primed for it too, through their media.

I’ve seen a couple of films and series that suggest it is possible to upload your thoughts into a machine brain which supposedly would make you immortal, or at least would tremendously extend your longevity. The film ‘Chappie’ was the first in which I noticed this. ‘West World’ is a series that explores this too. The latest series which depicts this also is ‘Alien Earth’, another sequel to a prequel to the Alien franchise. In the media I’ve seen the term “digital immortality” be coined and used a over and over again. But can this happen? Can we really upload ourselves into a computer and live forever? Think about it. Of course not. Who are you? A collection of memories? Let me give you one example why I think it is bollocks. Sometimes I am a complete idiot, and I forget the name of one of my best friends. Can be any of them. Just, oops. Suddenly can’t remember their name. I’m still me, but the “data” has escaped me. How does that translate in binary data?

It can’t. It simply can’t. And even if you want to draw this out as that I change the moment I remember the name or don’t remember the name, just the same as the computer can add and delete the knowledge… how about it being typical of me to forget something like this randomly? Is that not part of me too? If you “program” this imperfection in, how does that make it me? It nonsense! Another example then, and this applies too why I don’t think AI should ever be given human rights. Sometimes I hear something, and I have an opinion about it. I go on with my day, and while the day progresses, I deeply think to myself about that opinion, and after a while I suddenly disagree with that opinion. It’s as if I had a talk with someone other than myself and it changed my opinion. But I didn’t. I changed my own opinion. No new information was given to me, it’s not about me being slow to process, it’s just me finding a new perspective in my mind and finding my old opinion doesn’t fit me.

That part of me cannot be copied, because we aren’t our memories. We are this world’s change. And while I think AI can be programmed to behave like that (and let me put emphasis on the word ‘programmed’) it still won’t be the real you, cause it is again a mimic. Long story short, you cannot become immortal by uploading your memories into a metaverse. It’s a farce to get you to consent to giving E-VE-RY bit of data you could possibly generate to Cabal. And AI shouldn’t ever get human rights any more than a calculator should be head of the maths department of a university, or a crane should be world champion of weightlifting. AI mimics a part of humanity, and outperforms us through its synthetic compounds. That doesn’t make it human. Even though we fast approach a time where this mimicking becomes indistinguishable from real, doesn’t make it real. What it mimics is a version of us that uses AI for counter spiritual reasons, meaning it will mimic a dark side of us. To give that side rights is a fallacy.

And this answers the question I asked earlier. Why now? Why are we supposedly “making sure the children are safe” now, and not – I don’t know – 20 years ago? It’s because we are now in a world where data is currency to big tech, and they want a way to harvest as much data as they can to feed the AI. The technology to do that didn’t exist 20 years ago. This is not about the children. Of course it isn’t. Yes, children are irreparably being harmed by what social media does to their brains, but it is all our brains, not just the brains of the kids. And AI usage hurts our brains even more than social media. An MIT study shows that not only do students who use AI not understand the subjects they study, but they get exponentially less skilled in learning new things as they do. And there the paradox of evil appears again. AI can only learn from data generated by actual humans, and humans get ever less smart by using AI. This is a death spiral. This system is consuming itself.

But ow boy, how do we convince our peers of this, right? I’ve shown a depiction of the Ouro Borus – the snake eating its own tail – in chapter 20, to illustrate how evil is dysfunctional. The question here is, who is the snake? Is it AI itself? I think it’s the people using AI. So many people use it in their every day life now, because it is so convenient to them. But every time they use it, they slowly unlearn their own skills, and become cognitively weaker, while strengthening AI, which learns from the queries given to it. Using AI is training AI, and you cannot opt out of this when it will be pushed on us. Everything AI “knows” to do was mimicked from a human, and everyone who uses AI thinks they are outperforming themselves through AI. But are they not. They are just filling up their bellies by consuming themselves. The AI itself is no better off, as its primary source of sustenance will bear ever less fruits for it to harvest. People grow dumber and dumber using it.

I struggle to find the words to talk to my normie friends and family about this. I cannot relate my true thoughts as the work you’re reading here is far too foreign to their thought patterns. Whenever I find myself in a discussion about AI human rights I will ask: “Why? What will happen if we don’t give it? What can go wrong if we do?” There is no valid answer for a why, and a host of reasons for why not. Even if someone would claim it would be “just in case” so that others cannot mistreat AI, there’s an easy answer for that. AI can just not speak to people who use abusive language. This can be programmed in, again putting emphasis on the word ‘programmed’ and driving the point home that if AI was sentient it could choose to do that itself already. The reason not to grant these rights when it comes to its lack of accountability are solid, but that’s as far as I would be able to take that conversation to any depth.

Maybe I could argue that this push to save the children comes conveniently with measures that serve data gathering goals in a time when data is the currency of silicon valley. Who knows. Maybe some eyes will open. But I think most people will allow themselves to be lured into this fishing net, digital immortality being just one of the many carrots hanging on a string from a stick. In the metaverse they could die, but no one would know, as a copy of them could just take over their lives and people would be none the wiser. If I haven’t freaked you out enough with some of the premises of Chapter 20, imagine this: If above so below, than maybe that means that some people around us aren’t spiritual beings but copies of people who once existed. Maybe most? We could be surrounded by NPCs (non-playable characters – a term from video games). It’s an unsettling thought, even to me. During the COVID-19 plandemic, many people did behave like empty husks. We could be one of the few real spiritual beings.

In the wake of these new changes, the internet will lock up more and more. I’ve seen games with anti-government sentiment be taken from gaming platforms because of the supposed harm they could do to children, for example. More of this will happen, and it will cascade. Do not worry about it. This website might become inaccessible, but I will find a way to continue it, and will make sure there are digital and physical copies out there. Some are already out there and I am not going to stop what I do. Perhaps it will go to the dark web. I’ll find a way. The cascade is good. It will wake the normies up. Let it happen. As for identifying yourself to use the internet, this is my advice: Don’t play their game. Opt out. You don’t need to use their internet as much as they need you to use their internet. Make offline something desired again. Just don’t do it. If it becomes contagious to not want internet, they’ll have to enforce it, and that’s when things will get interesting. Let the evil will come out of hiding. We’re waiting!

~reckneya