Date: 10-03-2021
This is the most fun dream I have had in a long time. I became lucid.
The dream started in a somewhat confusing setting. I was staying somewhere in a bungalow perhaps, near a forest. Something like a vacation house or bed and breakfast. I am not sure about the nature of why I was there, but what I do know is that I left through the front door to go take a stroll through nature. To get to the forest I needed to follow the narrow stream of a creek. The creek took a path through a domestic area. Houses, a shop here and there, a school. It would eventually enter the forest area after a while. Along the way of following the narrow stream, I passed along a lot of construction work and road work. I didn’t pay much attention to it, but it meant that my journey would be accompanied by background noises of hammers hitting iron, blade saws, and loudly talking/yelling workmen.
I followed the stream until I reached the edge of the forest, but from that point onwards the water in the stream seemed to lessen and lessen, until it almost seemed to dry up. And that was indeed what was happening. The further along I followed it the dryer it became. It went from water, to watery, to murky, to muddy, to silt, to wet ground. Some patches were entirely dried up. I kept walking and after some distance I saw a white dove in the mud. And another, and another. I walked closer to the edge of the bank. The ground was pretty solid. I could walk on it, without my feet sinking in.
I approached one of the animals. It was still alive! As I picked it up out of the mud it seemed to awake out of some kind of slumber and flew off in a panic. The next dove, same exact thing. I kept going, and discovered one more after the other. Different animals, too. Not all of them were alive though. Some were dead. I also found rats. It was mostly doves and rats. Someone passed by on the path that ran parallel to the banks of where the stream was. He threw me a judgemental comment, something like telling me I’m nuts or something (“Jij spoort echt niet.”) for doing this, but that remark didn’t stick at all. I had my focus on trying to free the animals that got stuck, and didn’t care what anyone else thought.
Eventually I found a rat that was very far into a stage of decay. I wanted to remove it, still, as I realised that even though it was already dead, its decaying body would contaminate the water. The animals still alive would be killed if the water returned. Alive or dead; all animals had to be removed. And besides this I found it a bit disrespectful to leave dead animals like this, so I removed the dead ones and buried them, using twigs and leafs so I didn’t have to touch them. It became quite a task I had taken onto myself. But there still was this one rat that was so far into its state of decay, I had no means of removing it, other than using my hands. And I didn’t want to do that.
But then I remembered something. On my way to the forest, in the corner of my eye, I had seen one of the many workmen use one of those garbage pincers. I reckoned he would probably allow me to borrow them from him if I asked nicely. So, I went back, but didn’t see that guy anywhere. So I walked around the construction terrain, scanning the ground which had tools scattered all over the place. There was a man in grey overalls wearing a red shirt under them, who looked from a short distance at what I was doing. I paid little attention to him at first. He seemed kinda familiar, but I couldn’t think of where I might know him from. I didn’t look at him directly as to prevent getting into a conversation I had no time for, and kept focused on my task.
I kept searching for that damned thing. And of course he asked me: “What are you looking for?” While I kept looking, I explained it to him in the shortest way I could, leaving out many details: “There is a dead rat in the mud upstream and I want to remove it but don’t have anything on me I can use. I’m looking for one of those garbage pincers.” He then pointed at the ground somewhere and said: “There’s one.” I grabbed it, while thanking him, never once looking directly at him, and went back to the forest, still trying to determine where I knew that guy from. He was so familiar. But I just couldn’t put my finger on it. Eventually I reached the location of the decaying rat. From here I am unsure whether or not I succeeded in getting that thing out of the ditch of mud, cause from this moment something happened that rarely happens to me in dreams. But when it does happen, it is always an amazing experience. And this one might be my favourite one yet.
I realised this was a dream and became lucid. This is how that happened. I suddenly realised who that was. The grey overalls, the red shirt, the tools, his voice: “That was dad… He was working in his company work clothes. But… he was dead. How can that be? But wait a minute, where am I? What kind of strange place is this, and why am I in a forest pulling white animals out of the mud? Hold on… this… is a dream! This is a dream! I’m in a dream!” I could do anything I want now. But of all the things I could do, there was only one thing I wanted to do. I knew this was probably one of few unique chances I would get to see my dad in the beyond and talk to him. All I needed to do was go back to the place in this dream where he was. And so I did.
I literally flew back to the spot, like I was a sentient bottle rocket that flew along the ground. I was there within a second! But the destination of this swift and magical means of movement was the end of the driveway of my dad’s old home; the home where my mother now lives alone. The front door was open, and dad came walking through that door, wearing those same clothes as before, his typical work attire. In his left hand he held his own made wooden case containing his electric screw driver and all its utilities, and in his right hand his signature bucket containing all his other tools, like hammers, saws, wrenches, and what not sticking out the top. His facial expression was typically him, too. My brother and I used to mimic that look and he hated when we did that. He had the typical look on his face when he is tasked with a difficult job; tense and grumpy.
But when he saw me, he relaxed and looked so happy. I ran towards him, and he dropped his stuff as I fast approached him and he caught me. We hugged in a long embrace. Oh man how I had missed this. His badly shaved chin felt like sandpaper on my cheek, as it always would when he hugged us when we were little. I used to dislike it but now it was the best feeling ever. We both cried. I could hear him cry too, which was so not him. He hid his emotions from us, never would’ve allowed to show what he considered weakness. This was a very real and intense moment for us both. The embrace lasted long. Neither of us wanted to let go, as if we both knew the moment would be over soon if we did.
But after a few minutes of crying and hugging, and telling each other how much we loved the other, I was the one to break the embrace. I wanted to tell him what was going on in the world and in my live, and ask him for his help. Cause before I went to sleep, I had suddenly thought of him, and it was a really strong sensation of feeling him. Like he was there. And I just thought to myself I might as well pretend he’s here and talk to him, and if he’s not here, it’s no one’s loss but my own time and effort. I “talked” to him out loud, and asked him that if there was anything he could do for us here on Earth if he would please do that. And so, I tried to ask him in this lucid dream. So I looked at him, still holding his arms, and his arms holding mine. He looked back at me, so happy. I tried to find the words for my request, but I just couldn’t. As I searched for the words I felt I was losing focus, and the lucid part of the dream was slipping away.
But I pushed through. I had to ask this. My will was strong. Crying, and almost convulsing, I got these words out: “Dad, since you left, the world has really turned to shit. It’s so bad. It’s so terribly bad. I don’t know if I can do this, dad.” Dad was quiet. He said nothing. He smiled ever more satisfied. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this relaxed and happy. He was glowing, and didn’t say a word. I wanted to ask him that if he was able to do anything to help from where he was if he would please help, but I didn’t get that chance. Suddenly I was somewhere else.
The dream was now a lot less lucid. Somehow I thought I had woken up, and thought dad had teleported me somewhere. I now was in Amersfoort, in the neighbourhood behind our old house. I had a bike with me, and stood near where the pond is. The bike I had with me was an old rusty one. My brother was there too, also with an old rusty bike. I put the bike away and walked into the alley that leads behind the houses there, and followed it. As if this was now a computer game I was able to pick a weapon, of which a few types of pistols. The swipe menu was just overlaid on my vision, as if reality was augmented for me. I hovered over the different pistols, almost picking a black Glock, but eventually landed on a toy gun. The toy gun had a large magazine so I was able to fire a whole lot of shots with it.
Still following the alley, I found a beautiful garden at the very end. It looked really well maintained, almost like some elven stronghold from ‘the Lord of the Rings’ movies. It was completely overshadowed by the foliage of the trees that stood there. I took it in, and then walked back to the bike. My brother and I started biking. A dude exited one of the yards on a bike just in front of us. Music sounded from his backpack. I think he had some kind of Bluetooth speaker in there. The music was loud and obnoxious. He drifted left to right. Passing him was impossible as he matched our movements. Eventually he took a right turn.
My brother looked back at me, and I signalled him to take the next turn. The layout of the city does not match reality at this point, but we ended up near the street of where our childhood house is. I told my brother: “Dude, this dream I had about dad, I really need to tell this to mom. Come, let’s go there right now.” He replied jokingly: “You want to see mom? You? I cannot believe my ears.” I smiled back at him: “Belief it.” But he got a little more serious now and told me he’d rather not go. I told him I would go any way, whether he would come with me or not. He replied: “I think it is still too early for the two of you to meet again.” “Well, there’s only one way to find out, right?” I replied. He agreed, though maybe a little reluctantly.
We biked along, but somehow didn’t manage to get anywhere near the house, no matter what street we took. I recall ending near the hollow bridge, and meeting our sister, and telling her in detail about the dream I had about dad. I think she accompanied us to the house, but still no matter how hard we tried we would never end up near the house. Every time we got somewhere close, the next street would bring us further away than we were before. And that just continued until I woke up.
Aftermath:
When I woke up, my cheeks and pillow were wet and sticky from all the tears. I must’ve been crying in this reality too when I hugged my dad. My wife was already downstairs when I woke up. Maybe even already at work. And instantly I recognised a few messages that were in this experience. After typing out the dream, I discovered a few more, but there is probably loads I haven’t discovered/understood yet. Besides the amazing experience of hugging my dad who’s been dead almost half a year now, this whole dream experience was filled with so many cryptic events, and weirdly specific details, thoughts, and emotions.
And this experience actually started many hours before the dream, when I was going to bed and had the feeling as if dad was there with me, like he had walked into the room. That feeling only lasted a fraction of a second, but it was there. And I just went with it and said: “Hey old man. I haven’t forgotten you yet (referring to my promise to him when I came to say goodbye). And I don’t want to… Hey, dad, it’s not going to well on Earth right now. If there is anything you can do for us, could you please help us? …I miss you, you know.” I dreamt the dream in the morning, many hours later, but when the dream became lucid I immediately understood this was the result of that request. I thought this was his way of answering.
Analysis:
The creek stands for the world. It isn’t doing well. It dried up. Good people are stuck, in some kind of slumber. Some are already dead.
White doves and rats. Maybe well meaning people and bad people? In the dream I made no distinction. I freed whoever I could. I also felt pity for the rats. They remain animals all the same.
Freeing them I think symbolises what I am doing in real life, which I see as my mission. I design, print, and spread motivational stickers, basically making a meme of world events as I see them. But also am I trying to convince people in my circle that something is wrong about what is happening in the world. I also support the people in the many chat groups that are feeling alone and desperate, and I remove ill meaning people from the chats.
The creek was dry, but it would eventually flow again in the dream. The bodies that were in the mud had to be removed as to not poison the water of the new stream. I think this might symbolise society will restart, and that what is rotten now should not be given a chance to poison the new world again. The old must be removed and buried with due respect.
Dad was working a job. He helped me get a tool I needed for my job. Judging from his facial expression when I truly saw him, he was working on something really difficult. And I think that was the answer to my question, which I had asked out loud in real life, but not even in the other reality. He’s already working on it. He’s doing what he can, and with the tools he knows how to use. He’s possibly helping me too, behind the scenes. Maybe that’s what I had felt the evening before, when I was getting ready to go to bed. In the dream, he didn’t speak much to me, but just looked very happy and satisfied. I want to say he looked proud, but… oh well. I think he didn’t answer as he did not have to say anything, cause he’s already doing what he can, and I am already doing what I can, and even though I said I did not know whether or not I could do it, I think he knows already what I don’t, and judging from how happy he was, I think I will discover in time I will do just fine. And I’d like to think he is proud of me for who I’ve become in picking up the task I took upon me, writing all this work.
A few weeks ago, I called my mom. She’s awake to the extend that she knows something is not right with the motivations of our leaders. It was a deep conversation, and she had to cry often. She is, as me, afraid. But she is not solid at the moment. She is much less grounded than I am. Even though I have my fears, I know I can count on my strong will. But after my exchange with dad in the lucid dream, I think dad sent me to that other dream reality. I ran into my brother, who said it was too early to go to her, and later when we ran into our sister we couldn’t get to our mother. Maybe I have to wait before I visit her, to make sure it is what I want. Or maybe it means that no matter what me and my siblings do, we cannot reach her at this moment.
As a weapon I choose a toy gun. It was able to shoot, though. Maybe this symbolises the stickers that I design? Stickers are found in toy stores too, but with mine I can actually defend my position. They are powerful weapons.
I don’t know who that annoying guy on the bike was. Maybe a warning not to engage with idiots, who are just wasting my time?
Same with the elven garden. What was that about? I do not know. Maybe that paradise is not far from home? Or there will always be islands of serene beauty no matter how the world changes?
Why were my brother and I on rusty old bikes? I don’t know. Seems like an important detail. I haven’t figured it out.
My brother was in this last phase of the dream. It made me realise I miss him. He wanted to go with me to mom, but reluctantly so. I saw good and bad aspects of our relation in the interactions I had with him in this dream. I was rather commanding, which symbolises just that. He listened to me, even though he didn’t think my plan was wise. This most definitely was something that happened in real life sometimes. But we also had fun in the dream. I didn’t detail it and it has evaded my memory, but I recall we were joking around like we always did. And even though I disregarded his warning, I did feel its weight cause I do hold his opinion in high regard. His opinion matters to me, though my actions did not reflect that.
This is one of those dreams I would have loved to get his input on. Maybe in the future he will read it and find his own meaning in this experience.
