Date: 16-12-2022
Last night I dreamt of boarding a train in Amersfoort to Amsterdam. On this train were family, friends, and acquaintances, mostly ones that were long lost or seen a long time ago. My friend T was on the station. We were talking and joking, and it was kinda like old times. Yet I had some reservations. I felt he pulled me in and I was a bit weary to get back into some kind of intense friendship with him considering his past behaviour.
We got on the train and the train was going away from Amersfoort because it was going to be overrun by monsters, but this wasn’t known to many. I knew though. Where the train was headed was less important than it just leaving Amersfoort now. We got on the train and I believe I lost T quite fast, though I do recall hanging out with some of his friends. I was rejoiced to see my brother M also on the train. There was the issue where we would sleep if we arrived at our destination, which by now in the dream was at least a few hours away.
But this conversation and its outcome I don’t recall. It had no baring on the plot, and I vaguely recall we were offered a place to sleep at one of these guys we were talking to, who lived in the city of our destination. On the way the train slowed down sometimes, coming almost to a full stop even. What ever was about to happen in Amersfoort was also happening elsewhere, including around the tracks where the train needed to go over. It was happening everywhere. Monsters were about to come. There was a slight panic accompanied by disbelieve.
We were passing through Hilversum when the train was just about to come to a complete halt and people started to climb on the train. They were happy they made it. Amongst these people were my mom, and my dad! I was so happy to see him. Overjoyed, really. It was so great to see him on this train. He accompanied my mom, who’s presence I was not at all happy about. She looked at me with a mixture of mad and sad. But the sad was self-pity and the mad was just plain evil rage.
But the train came to a stop and the train personnel spoke through the speakers and told us we had to reverse course. Word had reached them that things were even worse where we were headed. We were going back. Slowly, really really slow, the train started moving back into the direction it came from. And my mother walked towards me with a foul look on her face, and she attempted to berate me on something she completely made up. I do not recall her speaking words, I just knew intuitively or psychically that what she was about to say had only a tiny bit of truth in it, but barely any. It was mostly lies.
I knew what she was doing. She was using the passengers in train as a crowd she tried to get against me. Not physically or anything, but she just wanted to try and get them to believe that I severely wronged her and did so out of malice. In the crowded train wagon there was a lot of her family present. She opened her mouth but before she could string all her lies I interjected her and pointed at her saying: “You know what you did, for me to cut you out of my life! You know exactly what you did. You know it, and you pretend not to know it, but you and I both know what you did!”
At that moment, the train still hadn’t gained any speed and was still going about as fast as a person can walk. After I brought my words in force, my mother was speechless for a few seconds. She looked at me frightened. The opposite of what she wanted happened; the other passengers saw her as the bad guy now. But she flared up again in rage. She had thought of a new angle to try and get the crowd to side against me. I decided I wasn’t going to listen to it. In fact, I didn’t see myself going on this train ride to where ever we were going, with her on this train too.
And so I turned around, walked through the crowd with my mother in tow yelling and screaming, exited the train wagon, went towards the door to exit the train with my mother still following me shouting the most desperate things she could think of to get me to stay, pulled the emergency lever to open the train doors, forced the doors open manually, and jumped off the train. I didn’t care about that train any more. Me leaving was part self-preservation and part making a statement. My mother had now screamed and yelled while I jumped off a train that would bring us to safety. She knew me leaving showed everyone just how severe her misconduct must’ve been if I was willing to just jump off this train like this.
I bested her evil tongue again, by not listening to it. But I was in monster territory now. Yet, I was not afraid at all, and leaving the train made me realise that train was headed towards certain doom. I mourned the loss of the people on it. My brother, my old friends. Even my father who apparently couldn’t leave her side on her way to hell. But I was also somehow very relieved to not have to carry the weight of worrying over them any more. I was at peace.
